Going to keep this thread now!

Thanks nNs, SA, DT,

been choca-block busy this week. Couldn't cope like this if it was always this busy, but have managed very well.

I have got a full body massage booked for tomorrow - bliss!

It lasts a whole hour. Cant wait. Moneys still quite tight, but I feel i need a treat now and then to keep me motivated.

Havent slipped up again since Saturday night, was just part of the process for me I think. After 4 months, I just wanted to see what it would feel like.

Dont know what I used to get myself all whipped into a feverish frenzy about.

I have a job interview a week on monday to be a lollipop lady! I think I would like it. No colleagues = no heartburn, lol.

Thanks for the continued support guys, will try to get caught up on everyone's diaries soon.

Hi Freda

Good to hear from your post you sound chirpy 🙂

I envy you that massage though!!

Have a good weekend..lolipop lady sounds good too, something I thought about once. When I think about it must be quite a good little job cos they seem to stay on for years, at least round here they do LOL

Take care

W xx

Hi guys,

Haven't felt like posting much past few days. Have had R staying for the weekend and just been relaxing.

The massage was gorgeous! she spent an hour and a half on it, and I went home all smiley and promptly fell asleep. I still managed to sleep that night too, for 9 hours, lol.

I start to sleep more in the autumn, i must be a human crossed with a squirrel. Ive got that weird thing going on now where the more you sleep, the more tired you are. Ive no energy today. Is weird because hard to tell if its depression, dont think it is....just hibernation season.

Maybe I wouldnt make such a good lollipop lady in the winter months!

Have to admit, i havent read a single diary for the best part of a week. Will try to catch up with my recovery buddies later today.

Since my only £5 blip 8 days ago, I haven't gambled.

Today I will not gamble.

Hi Freda,

Just dropping by, glad you are well, and have had a nice weekend relaxing, like you i have had a small break from the diaries, think it's healthy to take a back seat at times, and just enjoy life.

Glad to see your gamble free, the blip, was just that, it's the long run that counts.

Take care, stay strong.

green x

Thank you so much for your post freda. Yes I am the sort of person that needs to be busy. Well the course is going slow, my fault laziness has crept in so going to book the exam, i work better under pressure. thinking about mid next year. No excuse on that one, will make sure I get the grade.

Morning Freda,

Hope the interview goes ok for you. By the way by'up for it', I meant positive, chilled and enthusiastic. Not swinging as you interpreted it, potty brain.

Good Luck,

DT.

Hi Freda

You left a great post on my diary, really got me thinking actually, wont go into details but that post actually helped me a lot, for which im grateful. Hope you are keeping well and keeping them gambling demons at bay. Take care.

neil

Hi Freda,

Hope you are ok. Chat soon.

DT.

Not much to report really...

Got a bit upset Monday night, we were watching changeling and its quite unpleasant in places, what with it being about child abduction and all. Felt better for having a good cry.

Am looking forward to starting counselling again. Think the other counsellor is off sick for the long haul now. I am looking forward to sorting my head out a bit. My self confidence has just disappeared, I go to pieces over the smallest of pressures and makes it hard to imagine ever getting back to work and coping with a job again. Its scary feeling so vulnerable.

I dont think this 4 hours a week is going to last. They are already talking about possibly pulling the project. Its fine, its a pain in the b*m anyway! I will see what comes of this interview on Monday. The advertisement didn't give any details of how many hours a week it is, so might not be feasible anyway.

Just feel like hiding in the house today, cant be bothered with anything. Will get dressed and go to shops soon. Just winter blues I think.

Hi Freda,

Thanks a lot for the post, really motivating! Try not to worry too much about gettin back in to employment, with a break from work everyone feels like they don't want to go find another job because its a big jump. Just take one thing at a time. Maybe spend a day or two writing things down that you've done to evidence in the interview and that. Preparing loads for an interview gives you so much confidence to do it!

Keep ya chin up love!

James

Morning Freda,

Thanks for your support. I'm not sure what to say today, but wanted you to know that I am supporting you all the way and I hope you banish those winter blues.

Be good,

DT.

Im fed up. really really fed up.

i will be fine in the end, i always pick myself up and dust myself down. but I am totally,completely and absolutely terrified of failing again.

I have struggled to cope with a job for years. I cant cope with criticism. I just cant take any more knocks.

Makes the stakes quite high actually.

Sorry this is pointlessly bleak, but thats where i am at this moment in time.

I just hate being so s**t at coping. I feel ashamed.

Freda, please keep talking, it will help honesty. It doesnt matter how it sounds or feels.

You dont have to be alone... you are not alone & have friends here that want to help support you. You left chat so quickly Im worried about you.

(((K)))... let all your fears out.

Jackie x

Hi Freda,

Just want to re-assure you that you can and will get through this. You are a good person who is sensitive to the world around you. It's not a crime, it's just hard to deal with sometimes.

Take care,

DT.

Thank you for those lovely posts. They've made me cry but in a good way.

Im sorry, Im feeling a bit better now. Just got myself in a flap. I just feel so embarassed that I cant cope with working. It is hard to hold your head up high.

Thanks again, I will be fine in the end. At least Im not still gambling. I think this is when I would normally have been gambling in the past.