Going to keep this thread now!

Im feeling much more positive now!

Sad elements to Christmas like not seeing my nephews and niece, and my mam being a bit upset by my bro's, but overall I have been ok.

I have been meditating which has helped me feel peaceful, and have spent plenty of time with my lovely R.

Ive cleaned the oven today, with limited success! lol. Clean sheets on the bed, and getting the hoover out. Getting on with things as best I can. There is food in the fridge, beer in the cupboard, and Im healthy and safe. Plenty to be going on with, I think!

Stuff going on that makes me sad. Family c**P as per!

Im hurting but something is changing. Im not angry with said people, just disappointed really. People are not always who we want them to be, but Im becoming more accepting.

We all know people who hurt us. Some say tactless things, some forget to ask how we are, some get angry because they are trying to change us and we wont play ball, some judge because they don't understand.

These things happen. Sometimes acceptance is the best medicine. We can beat our fists in frustration and yell 'its not fair!' all we want. Doesn't make anything change. All it does is drain us of energy.

There are so many kind, loving people out there - Ive not been noticing them while Ive been focused on the bad ones. What is really best for me tonight, when my husband comes home? to sit and tell him all the sad and disappointing things that people have done today? or to sit and talk to one another about things that make us happy? to focus on cherishing one another rather than condemning others.

Im starting to realise that people are only as important to us as we allow them to be. Ive been giving some people centre stage in my mind for far too long, time to give my husband centre stage I think. He is far more deserving.

Hi Freda,

Glad to hear that you seem to have got through xmas and the family cr** intact. I like the philosophy you describe. Accepting of others even when they may not be accepting of you. From your list the one that really gets me is people who try to manipulate me to do what THEY want and then get into a narcissistic rage when I don't play ball. I'd like to think that I don't behave like this towards others.

Like you say, often its just better to let it bounce off.. other peoples negative behaviours just aint worth the mental energy.

Your relationship sounds like a real positive in your life.. am sure that you will continue to cherish it. Cheers for now.. S.A 🙂

Oh my god. Im banned from all contact with my nephews and niece. My mam has decided to cut all contact with said brother, and my Dad is very upset.

Guess what I feel like doing right now?

But Im not. Im sat here crying instead. This is just not healthy, I am being dragged down by this c**P. I just want to get on with my life.

Im tired. Really, really tired. Just for today, especially today, I will not gamble.

I believe this is what they call progress...I managed to delete an e-mail which was no doubt full of anger and nastiness, without reading it. Theres always the temptation there, even though I know it would upset me, to look and see what outrageous things Im being called this time. Its almost like ammo in the bank. To have something in black and white to hold up and say 'oh, its only me who's been nasty is it?'

I was really upset yesterday, but have mostly bounced back already. Its encouraging to see. Things like this would have knocked me sideways for a week or more 6 months ago.

It is very exciting that I am learning not to retaliate. It feels good, and empowering.

I did not gamble yesterday, and of this I am also proud. Today, just for one more day, I will not gamble - not even the lotto.

Keep kicking a s s everyone!

Hi Freda... good for you!

One of the things that I have learnt from this year is not to write emails to people or to people about other people.. of an angry or hurtful nature. Its just not worth it.

I find that when i write when in angry mode and then re-read it 48 hours later I think to myself "What was all that about??"... but the trouble is emails stay in cyber space and can come back to haunt the sender.. and this happened to me this year. My motto for 2010.. pause to think.. chances are that the emotion of the moment passes soon enough.

Anyway good move for deleting that email.. sometimes people send these sorts of emails because they know that they will be a reaction and thats what they want. The fact that you have not reacted shows your strength of character I think. Some peoples intentions may well be to hurt you but you dont have to let them succeed.. same goes for me.

Anyway's happy new year.. kick a s s! lol 🙂

Hi Freda,

How u doin? Sorry to hear about the family issues, have had a few myself over chrimbo. Unfortunately these people never change, they just get worse. One day you will hopefully find a level of contact that suits you, on your terms, that is allowed. Just because they are family doesn't mean we have to take their bullsh*t behaviour.

Here's wishing you a great 2010 and a long and happy marriage. (Is R mad?)

Take care,

DT.

Thanks for your messages DT and SA,

I totally agree SA - its insane how much your feelings can change within a few hours when emotions have been running high. I've learned that I cant trust myself to behave in a way Im proud of, when Im hurting or angry. So I just do what I need to keep myself safe, and wait for the dust to settle.

Have withdrawn from my family pretty much completely apart from my mam and dad for the time being.

I need to develop more patience before I can be around them. The anger and the urge to lash out is decreasing all the time, which is wonderful. Its sad really, but I needed to spend quite a bit of time getting myself in the right frame of mind to check my messages online today. If there had been anything nasty or judgemental, I wanted to be in a good state of mind to deal with it.

Anyway, now thats done I can get myself a workout to shake off the negativity and tension, and get on with my evening. There was nothing bad, but I was certainly braced for the unknown!

All the best everyone! heres to a great gamble-free 2010. One day at a time 🙂

Just wishing you a happy New Year

W x

Hi Freda,

Was taking the P**s, ;-),

DT.

Well my new years resolution is going ok so far! to do 30 minutes of exercise every day in January... ouch! This will get hard around the 5th I reckon, lol.

Nevermind, gotta have a focus right?

Hi Freda,

Having a focus helps I agree..

If you stuck to that exercise plan.. that would be quite impressive in my book. S.A 🙂

Well day 2 and another workout down...Im not sure Im gonna make it to the 31st though, lol.

Feeling fairly good, have been depressed on and off for the last few weeks. Im coping with it, and reminding myself that it always passes. Have given all forms of gambling a miss this week. For the last couple of months I have been playing lotto twice a week, but just wanted a total break for a bit. I feel like its especially important when Im stressed or feeling down, as thats when it can get away from me.

Hello Freda,

Great stuff with the workout. Two days are better than none and your months goal IS achievable. But like everything just take it one day at a time 😉

Well done on being free from gambling for a week. I think that its so true what you say about getting carried away when you feel stressed or down, an important fact... maybe you could stick the words on your fridge to remind yourself.

Jackie

Happy 2010 Freda!

Jas x