Going to keep this thread now!

Hi Freda

Hope you've perked up a bit. Have another rant if it helps!

Popped into chat earlier this afternoon. Felt a little unwelcoming today for some strange reason. Perhaps it was just the way I was feeling.

Heyho, onwards and upwards.

Take care

M

Thanks mrt,

Am feeling a bit better. There is a lot of emotion in me at the moment! I had a tough time this afternoon at the cinema. Went to see Wolfman with a friend and it is very loud and jumpy and gory. My nerves went a bit nuts and I was shaking and feeling really anxious.

Ive calmed down now. Some days my nerves feel especially frayed, and I will be quite jumpy and agitated, so I think it was just a particularly bad day, nerves-wise.

I have counselling in the morning, so I can have a good vent!

Today I didn't gamble, not even the lotto!

Hey Freda

hope you've perked up a bit, dont like to read that you are in a sadness mode.

Get yourself down that swimming pool girl!

Good to hear you didnt gamble.

Hi Freda

Thank you for your share on my diary.

I can so relate to being jumpy at certain movies. I cannot watch Horror films any more.

The other night I started watching CSI New York and they were in Amityville and spooky things were going on. I have no idea how it ended because I turned it off. And then walked round the house with all the lights on. How silly is that. Doh..they are films after all...but...

I think since I have stopped gambling I have become more in touch with my feelings and emotions and I show them openly now and am able to feel them now.

I rather not watch certain films and have my emotions, the good, bad and ugly ones, than lock them all away again. I don't want to go back there ever again...

Youa re doing well my friend.

Love and Hugs to you my girl

God Bless

Charly/Sabine

Evening Freda

Hope you've had a good day, and a good old vent at the counsellor!

Just read back a few pages on your diary. Missed the comment you made about support. It is good this trying to help each other along.

Really appreciate your input so far.

Take care

M

I have had a good day,

went out with my friend and her kids. They love the balloon shapes i make! I felt calm and 'normal' emotionally and it was very nice!

I have not gambled today. It occurred to me yesterday that I now have an unblocked PC since mine broke and i borrowed me dads. I feel ok about this at the minute, but will take steps if it becomes a problem

Hi Freda, good to chat about the Caped Crusader!

Good to read that you are doing well. re the PC, take action BEFORE it becomes a problem or temptation.

Send me some Batman DVDs sometime.....

Didn't sleep very well last night. Was dreaming about family members treating me like poo, and it was quite realistic - didnt realise I was asleep!

I am really P*ssed off with the council, they still cant give me any idea of when I can start my new job. I have never known anything so farcical in my whole life! I am angry because I know how bad it is for my anxiety and depression to be kept in limbo over such a prolonged period of time. It is really starting to get to me.

I have been applying for other jobs, because how long is a piece of string? I could be waiting till flaming june at this rate. Im so frustrated because there is absolutely nothing i can about it! it is in their incompetent hands.

Do you know what date the offer letter is dated? Nov 10th 2009!!!!!! I am just so fed up.

Hey (((((Freda)))))

Glad you were in chat and got rid of some of that frustration. Not good to keep it in.

Liek Jac said, write the senior whoever is in charge a letter and explain your disgust. If you were meant to have started in November, they owe you salary too. You have been waiting all this time...You could have gone elsewhere...just blag a bit...

And then, when you have written the letter, post it and let it go mentally...and go for a cake and coffee or something to cheer yourself up...

Love and Hugs

God Bless

Charly/Sabine xx

Hi Freda,

Kick some a** girl! The council are notoriously slow...they need winding up. Sometimes they delay recruitment because of end of year finances and budgets. I hope you get a reply and start date soon.

Treat yourself to a nice bar of chocolate f.

Jas x

Thanks guys,

I feel better already just for venting! lol.

I dont carry this around with me all day every day or anything, its just I really wasnt expecting to ring them this afternoon and be told they still dont have a clue! I left my voluntary job a couple of months ago now, and have spent weeks just waiting. I think most people would struggle a little in those circumstances.

I would love to just tell them to p8ss off and go find another job - but there are none!!!

Anyway, this is not healthy so I am going to sort out some volunteer work for next week to keep me busy. Obviously up till now, I havent seen the point in arranging anything as I was expecting to hear any day - but enough is enough.

I am feeling tempted to gamble today, because when I am frustrated I act much like a child.

When they cant get what they need, they go a bit nuts, and start knocking stuff over and being generally destructive.

I am choosing not to gamble and am dealing with my reality today instead.

I know a lot of people might just think 'oh for gods sake just get over it, its nothing' but I am confronting a huge fear, attempting to work. My self confidnece is at absolute rock bottom and i know I can only improve it by facing this fear. So to be kept waiting for months is absolute torture.

Now listen here my girl( I am waggling my finger with the bestest intentions)

You have helped a lot of people here with your kind words in the past. You are a good person and it is not your fault that the council is so bad in getting their arxses in gear. I would kick theirs if I could.

You are a kind and caring person and you are worth so much more then you think at the moment.

And ..the reason I can be supportive even when I am not feeling up to it, is because it gives me something to focus on. If I didn't think about others and how I could help them, I'd be sitting here, feeling sorry for myself like I used to do. That is no longer me.

It helps me to help others. I am learning along with everyone else.

I wish I could just pop over and have a cup of tea or coffee with you.

We could have a good old natter and put the world to rights...lol..just imagine if we had the power...

When I used to feel like you are now, I would phone someone and have a chat. Not necessarliy about how I felt, but just to get my brain away from thinking too much.

Keep your chin up my girl. It will all work out in the end.

God Bless

Charly/Sabine

hi

Feeling like a gamble to get away from the stress or disappointment...was so easy when we lived in LALA LAND.

If i hadn't been to lala land i may have invented the transporting machine!you and charly would be having coffee now..

Thankfulfy we are now living in the real world(ive just been born),sorry to hear the job issue is getting you down.

I highly recommend this.. but only works if you have someone elce clean up the mess.

Take 6 large eggs go to the back garden and throw them as hard as you can against a window(not the neighbours)

screaming&cursing whilst doin this is optional.

Have a nice weekend

micheal42

You guys made me smile. Kindness is beautiful - and free!

Im fine really, just fed up today. I will be fine tomorrow.

I have no intention of gambling, I just really really want to. Doesn't mean I have to.