Going to keep this thread now!

Hi Freda

Just popping in to say i hope you are feeling better. Ive no doubt you didnt let those gambling urges get the better of you.

All the best Jeff.

thanks Jeff,

No I havent gambled. I did put £1 on the lotto last night, but I have figured out a little better when this is ok for me. I have to stick to £1 only, twice a week maximum. When it starts becoming a problem, is when I start want to put 3 or 4 lines on etc. Once this happens I simply step away from it again to keep myself safe. This is how I am going forward for now, and it may change. I am early on in my recovery and am still learning about what I can and can't do. It may become evident at some point that even the lotto is unhealthy for me.

Im still on an unblocked computer, and have not been tempted to act on any urges. I have still had urges, but am allowing them to pass.

Been to my mother in laws for tea with R.

Was nice to see her, have had quite a sociable weekend! Found it tricky, still getting very nervous, but can tell I am getting better gradually still.

Wont see my hubbie til Weds now, which sucks, but what can you do!

Hi ya,

Just want to say hi.. and thanks for your on-going support. My brain is fast turning into mush so cant offer anymore inciteful comment at the mo.. but just wanted to say hi.. I twill be back.. S.A 🙂

I cant stop eating!!!

Have stuffed my face with chocolate and crisps tonight, and feel like a big fat hippo 🙁

I am missing R. Can't wait til we are shacked up together again. I have too much shame to eat like this when there is a witness 😉

I gambled today. I'm thinking of calling it a day on this diary and starting a new one when I'm more serious about this. I'm making a bit of a mockery of compulsive gambling - it feels disrespectful to everyone on here for me to be gambling so often and not really staying committed to abstinence.

I don't know what I'm doing. It wasn't a total binge, just a little dabble. Still, I know I am a compulsive gambler because I spent more time there than I intended to, more money than I intended to, and I haven't told my partner about this yet, even though I have spoken to him since.

I'm going to take a few days away from here, and try to kick myself up the a*$e.

Hi Freda

Hope you regain your conviction about giving up. Everyone goes through tricky phases - just dont abandon the idea,

Eyes X

Hi Freda,

Keep an open mind about the whole gambling thing. Like L.e says... we all go through tricky phases. Am only now just starting to emerge from one of mine (touch wood) and my resolve not to gamble is returning. I hope you resolve your own internal debate and come to conclusions that are good for you. take care.. S.A 🙂

Hi Freda

Sorry to read you have fallen off the wagon. Sounds like you need a strategy and blocks in place to cope with your urges. Willpower and determination arent proving enough.

You know all the blocks - gamblock, no access to money, self exclusion, keeping away from where you gamble. And train your mind to think differently - this is not the same as willpower.

I dont think staying off here is gonna help you though. you need people on here to continually support you. Dont try and tackle it on your own.

freda. . Never give up lass. . You are not making a mockery of comp gambling and are certainly not disrespectful to any of us on these diaries. . You ve had a wee slip. . These things are there to try us and if at first we dont succeed then we have to try try again. . All of us on hear are vulnerable to gambling and it can hit us at any time so dont feel down. .it can happen to any of us at anytime but we are all here to help each others recoveries. . Chin up lass you have shown you can do it so dont be too hard on yourself. .

I hope you are reading this f.

Post again soon. Don't let your recent little gambles turn into a monster eh!

Jas xx

Awww f...I miss you on here.

C'mon girl let's kick a** for the girls. There are far too many blokes on here at the mo...footie and man talk....yawnnnnn!

Don't leave it too long sweetie.

Jas x

Thank you all, I haven't been off in gambling-world. Haven't bet since I last posted.

Have been on an unblocked PC for 2 weeks now, and haven't been tempted. Other forms of gambling I can pull back from, but I daren't even go there with online betting, it just reels me in too quick.

Anyway, just a quick one to say thanks for your support, I'm really touched. I'm gonna have a catch up on all your diaries, and post more tomorrow.

Cheers.

Welcome Back Freda, good to read that you havent been tempted, keep up the good work!

Hi Freda just checking how you doing. I also been away work - folly - sickness and such like. Good to hear you aint been of the wagon. All the best Blocked.

Hi Freda very true addicts like myself will go to great lengths when they are unable to control the urge to gamble. I wont ever ever say how what was done was done. I will though say Im using it to learn yet another think about this complex sickness that many layers are needed , much personal insight is needed, so many things many of which dont seem to relate. I think yes cutting oneself slack is ok, e.g dont be massivly hard if or when you slip, but we need to learn from those slips and not use that slack as an excuse - if that makes sense 😉 Im starting to fill my free hours with things i really want to do. Or at least trying to. And giving myself as many options as possible for my free time which do not involve gambling. Your not rambling ... somtimes its good to write as it falls out. Keep in there - one step at a time Freda we all here for you. Warm thoughts Blocked.