Going to keep this thread now!

Hi Freda,

Yes when i get overwhelmed I kind of end up shutting down like my senses just can't take anymore and they shut up shop. I think the posh term for it is Trans marginal inhibition.. or maybe not.. it sounds good though eh! 😉

Doing a list sounds good.. make stuff more manageable.. tick it off as you go along.. feel good at what you may acheive however small. take care.. S.A 🙂

Hi Freda, How r u? Hope your r fine and well, I want to thank you for putting your post on my recovery diary. That was really sweet of you. It really does mean alot to me. I know you and others on here are trying to help my recover and i am grateful for it.

Take care Freda x

All the best

SONY

I am really struggling to accept myself today. I often have these feelings of inadequacy.

I am hoping its just a bad day.

One thing is sure as s**t - gambling wont help things so i wont do it!

Hi Freda

It was just a bad day.. but its gone now 🙂

Today is a new day.. take care S.A 🙂

Hi Freda,

I enjoyed chat last night. Hope you are feeling a bit better about things. It's hard to gather self-esteem spoilt by years of reckless gambling. It comes with time though.

Good luck with the wedding plans!

Blooming heck f. Right here I go. You are a bright, sympathetic very nice person. Now come on, I see your posts on other peoples diaries and my own. You give a lot. From an old uncle :).

Thanks Uncle G!

and Curly and SA

Well its the day before I start my new job and I am just really nervous. I mean chronic! I cant stop going to the loo, my insides are sore, my stomach wont stop churning, I keep crying and I am shaking all over.

See I have an anxiety disorder. I have got it back under control to the point where I am calm most of the time, when Im in situations Im comfortable in. However, I regularly get so nervous that I am incapacitated in new situations. Think panic attacks that dont pass. I know I will either be fine tomorrow or freak out, and there is no way of knowing. I have Valium to help, but the reality is - there is a good chance I wont cope to the point where I have to go home.

Everyone gets nervous, and if I knew that the nervous feelings wouldn't escalate worse than they are now it would be fine. I am just going to have to try my best.

I know that's all i can do, but it is a horrible disappointing feeling when I don't cope. However, at times I have been pleasantly surprised with how well I have coped and that is a lovely feeling too.

I know people will wonder what Im getting all upset about, and say 'you will be fine' but the reality is, even if I stay positive I may still not cope. I went to my mother-in-laws for tea a couple of weeks ago. She is really nice, and is understanding about my nerves. I still got really nervous though, to the point where it was nearly a panic attack and I had trouble sitting still, or following the conversation. So it does still happen very often.

Anyway, those are my fears down on paper (well, cyber paper) I cant control what tomorrow brings. I just really hope it goes well.

Hey! ... whatever happens tomorrow come back and say how it went. Positive vibes coming your way.. S.A 🙂

Thanks SA, you're a good un!

I have managed to keep a lid on my nerves today, been for a walk, done some exercise, some relaxation exercises. In that respect, I am feeling more positive. Am just generally doing my best to stop nervousness from escalating into panic.

If I can manage to get to sleep without Valium tonight I'm laughing. I'm gonna take some in the morning to take the edge off. Then its just deep breaths and hope for the best!

Good luck sweetpea tomorrow.

Jas x

Hi Freda

Big Hugs and lots of love from me to you.

I hope your job start went well.

Boy, I felt just like you when I went for my interview. No confidence at all.

I am now even more nervous because I have to do this Driver Awareness test on the 16th. Man, I have to pass to start my job...no pressure at all.

I have never been any good at test....STOP!!!

If I carry on thinking like that I will not make the test.... positive thoughts...the old me was no good at tests...the new me can tackle anything...atta girl...

Same for you my girl..it's all about positive mental attitude.

YOU are a good girl, You WILL be fine in your new job, YOU are going to have as much faith in yourself as ALL of US here at gamcare have in you....

Go get 'em girl

More love and hugs to you from me.

God Bless

Charly/Sabine xx

Thanks guys,

Just a quick update because I am knackered!

I have got the first 2 days done without it being obvious that I am anxious. I had a panic attack during my lunchtime shift today, but managed to mask it from the supervisor.

Im not sleeping great, and feel really stressed in general. However, I am trying! If I continue to feel this anxious, its not feasible to carry on. I am giving it a couple more days to see if the nerves settle down. Im proud of myself so far, I really am.

I have been taking Valium the past 2 days as well, and that isnt something I can let continue for more than a couple of weeks otherwise addiction comes knocking and it is HELL getting off Valium.

As with recovery, I am taking this one day at a time. If I dont stay in this job, I will know that its not because I cant do the job, but because my nerves have not recovered enough yet. My priority must be to manage my health, and not let it deteriorate. Time will tell!

Hi Freda

Glad you are getting through the new job. You sound even more stressed than when you were gambling lol!

Chill out! You are right, 1 day at a time.

Hi Freda,

Glad you posted...started to worry about you.

Well done on 2 days in your new job f but if it doesn't feel right then don't let it upset you.

Thinking of you...Jas xx

Hi Freda,

Likewise..well done on your first two days in the job. Your doing great!.. S.A 🙂