Going to keep this thread now!

Hi Freda

Sorry to hear you have had a bad time, been there myself recently and it gave me a hell of a wake up call.

Recovery is forever not just for Christmas lol

Sad laughing at my own jokes now,

Stree can be over the good stuff as well as the bad my friend so the trigger was there with the wedding.

|Enjoy the day that you want and to the hell with anyone else, just the two of you matter!!!

Hope the day is wonderful for you.

love

W xxx

No gambling today.

Thanks for your thoughts guys.

I had a colonic irrigation today!!! It was the first time I have tried anything like that. It was a bit surreal... Im quite proud of myself as I was very apprehensive for obvious reasons, but went along on my own and just took it as it came, lol.

It feels good to face nervousness without taking Valium to cope. Its about learning to deal with mild to moderate anxiety without resorting to a crutch.

Hey what a weird experience, but it was kind of cool! It doesn't feel how you would imagine. It doesn't hurt, and its quite fascinating to see what comes out. It gets rid of not only old poo, but also old pockets of trapped gas. My goodness you have never smelled anything like it! I didn't sort of 'lose' much, but the woman says it will probably happen the next time. I came home and went back to sleep.

Anyway, maybe I have shared too much there! hahaha! But if anyone is considering it but too scared, go for it. Im glad I did.

Thank you for sharing Fred. ROFL!

Morning Freda,

Too much information lol.... That's certainly a different way of prepping for a wedding day!

You have come a long way in your recovery Freda and you always spare the time to support others even though you are going through the mill yourself. You are going to make a fabulous bride I just know it.

Thanks for the kind words on my diary.

With regards to your gambling...I believe there is no hard and fast rule about recovery. We are all different and all recover in different ways and at different speeds. I remember some words from a Simpsons episode f. "When will we get there?" "We get there when we get there" Just seems to fit perfectly with recovery....we get there when we get there.

Love from Jas x

Glad to be back at work as it keeps me a bit safer.

I can still go and gamble like a maniac when I knock off, but the good thing is that I usually dont.

Im going to try counting the days again. Don't know if it will have any effect, but its something I stopped doing when I started slipping.

So today is day 4. Today I wont gamble.

Hi Freda

I think counting the days can work for you.

You can see progress every day then.Good to see you helping so many people again .Keep up the good work Jeff.

day 6

enjoyed my meditation class last night, and am so very grateful to have this wonderful teacher.

Feeling good today. I was knackered last night, feeling poorly and stressed and almost didn't go. I am glad I did.

I am finding pleasure in the small things today. This is good 🙂

day 7

Did too much yesterday and ended up hardly able to breathe. Am going to take it easy today.

Went to sunbeds above arcade yesterday without succumming.

Hi f.. well done on your gambling free time. Sunbeds above the arcade.. blimey. I think after a heavy loss i'd go up and have myself burnt to a crisp lol

Joking aside maybe an idea to find a new sun bed place. cheers for now.. S.A

I know SA, it's mad isn't it? Why do I use that particular sunbed place? Cheapest, most convenient, good opening hours. Still, inconvenience should be a pleasure to me if I am safeguarding my recovery.

I have a lot of credit on my card, so am going to see how it goes. I think you are right though, no more top ups there - I need to find some place else.

No gambling urges. Its day 8. I need to watch myself over the weekend, as opportunity will knock.

My body clock is totally programmed now. I was looking forward to a nice lie in, nothing extravagant, just half 7 or 8 maybe. No chance! lol. Bing! 6.45am I am awake and trying to pretend to myself that Im not. Oh well.

Was nice just to lie there for a bit and chill.

Feeling positive today. Had a good workout and am going for reiki this afternoon. Im off to get get some final bits and bobs at the shops. Ive got that shopping panic that you get when there are only 4 shopping days left til christmas! I cant get anything next week as I am working all week, so the wedding has to be sorted full stop by 5pm Sunday!

Im over the moon with how i have coped with the build up so far. Often I get really run down and stressed with these things - not that Ive been married before, lol, but with big events. So far, so good.

Day 9. Today I will not gamble.

Great stuff, I'm so happy for you.

Isn't it a bummer when you wake up early when you can lie in !!!

Proud of you Freda, what a lond way you have come in taking control of your life.

love W xxx

I fell asleep at 10pm last night!!! I am shattered at the moment.

Im going to a day retreat today, so hopefully that will have me feeling nice and chilled.

Day 10. Was tempted to go in arcade yesterday but didn't. We had a lovely indian meal for our tea.

Feeling pretty happy, content.

Thanks for your support in chat the other night i was a bit down.

Day 11 - Im doing ok. Bit bored with work, but grateful to have a job.

Just ticking over really.