goodbye dizzymissy78

I'm not proud to admit this but I'm tipsy I so want to gamble but I can't I've blocked all routes I'm glad but I have a sadness I miss it I'm a sick way but all its brought is misery so I have no clue why need to just sleep night xxx

Hey. ..don't beat yourself up...urges will come and go when least expected...that's why it's so important to have blocks and hurdles in place to help you stay safe....and you have...so well done honey....it's hard...but you can do this dizzy....drink does make it harder !. ..but just keep those guards in place....don't worry about letting us lot down love....nobody here will judge you....but don't let yourself down love....imagine the pain and hurt you'd feel in the morning !. ..stay safe...xx

It's not surprising, is it? Mr G was your best friend, however faithless. His absence is bound to leave a gap but it's just selective memory, think how bad the bad times really were. Reread your diary if you have to.

Stay safe,

CW

Hey dizzy. ..hope you managed to get a good night's sleep. ...
Another new day is here....
Keep those blocks high and stay safe....you can do it love x

Morning everyone well everyone knows I've had a wobble this week but not a fall!I awoke this morning with a hang over to discover I had stayed safe no harm done I estimated what the loss would have been had I gambled well we all know it would have been the entire balance in my account which was ВЈ220 so you know what I thought stuff it in my head it so could have been a lose I never win so it would never have resulted in profit so I booked a holiday and put a £135 deposit down I know it's crazy my debts are huge my rents due but I really need another thing to focus on weight loss and financial so b******s I AM TAKING MY KIDS ON HOLIDAY!haven't had one in 5 years due to my addiction it's in January and this country but I'm sooooo excited!!!!!!so today I will not gamble I will go on holiday I hope this helps other people too! !!!

Nite all excited I have a holiday booked thank goodness for this place and my new friends thank you everyone xxxxx

Day 34 dreamt last night I was buying a big house was sad when I woke that I've ruined those chances for a few years but what can I do things will get better If I just stay strong diet going OK too hoping to lose again this week.im going out with friends next Friday something I would never do before as I'd have nothing to wear and too skint for a meal and a drinks taxi etc!really excited you don't realise but your friends notice that u change and go inward .had eye lash extentions done yesterday £30 but felt like a huge treat!goals this week lose another 3&1/2lb,pay rent ,pay a little off debt x

Wow 5 weeks fab! Who would have thought it!,got a babysitter for a few hours last night went for a meal was ВЈ50 probably would have made an excuse before as would of been worried about money fabulous camp spanish restaurant with fluffy chandeliers and seedy red walls but sooooo cool!I actually think my marriage is much better since giving up gambling I'm putting in more effort (and my appearance too)popped to supermarket yesterday saw a handbag for ВЈ12 I liked thought stuff it it's funny how I um and arh about a ВЈ12 handbag yet used to spend ВЈ100,'s In 5 minutes,my rent is a week late just where I'm juggling things but hopefully it will be OK think I can manage my credit cards it isn't going to be easy and I need to budget for absolutely everything but I'm so much more in control and happier!I don't feel guilty and I'm being kinder to myself having a little treat if I need too and going on holiday will be so good for our family it's kind of sad but I paid the deposit and worked out if I pay ВЈ13 a week via my debit card it will be paid off my the due date.its crazy that I've put off having a holiday for years for the sake of £13 a week! Still get insomnia due to my mind not switching off and I guess habit too (i used to gamble in the night)but I'm guessing that will get better I hope!any way try and sleep dizzy!x

Try looking up insomnia on the NHS website for tips on "sleep hygiene".

CW

Thank you so much I can't disconnect my head!xxxx

Well done on the five weeks dizzy
Can relate to the spending on yourself....I went so long without bothering about myself...not now ! lol
I can also remember fitfull sleeping in the early days.....again...for me that improved along the way...as everything has....and will for you as well....just take it one day at a time...x

Thank you fingers crossed it will x

Awake again 4am thinking about how I can juggle bills and debt my brain won't switch off!weigh in day tomorrow at fat club hope I've lost!fingers crossed lots to look forward to xxx

Still struggle with sleep brain won't switch off usually now how I can juggle everything but I'm OK x

Haven't posted for a while but still feeling the effects of my actions I'm writing this for anyone like me who couldn't see a way forward,whilst I was in the grip I hated opening mail or the phone every day I was borrowing from somewhere ,family payday loans,lying why I needed the money it was never to pay bills in fact I haven't really paid bills properly for 2 years I've always a huge debt to them all.i realised I couldn't go on this way self loathing hating the fact we couldn't afford a holiday never getting my bills down so now 47 days on I'm writing this to enspire those who also can't see a way forward many come on here and it seems easy for them for others there are slip ups and it seems impossible but pick yourself up dust yourself down and take control of your life.here I am 47 days later contacted all the bill companies one by one everything is on payment cards and payment plans I am peacing me back together again I no longer panic when I have no money because if I have no money it's because it's been spent on bills or food or loan payments for example yesterday I didn't realise my council tax repayment plan would come out it left me with ВЈ18 I felt calm because I know my life will eventually get better things will get paid.i have put a deposit down on a holiday for the kids it was £158 I never would have done this as I would have gambled it before I had chance.so for those of you reeling still feeling sick from the last binge not knowing a way forward but found yourself here reading diarys look how much my life has changed in 47days another 47 days who knows I still am crippled by payday loans credit cards but I'm not frightened anymore I can put food on the table do little treats and some how I making all my payments I have done a forecast and in November loans are nearly all paid back then I can concentrate on my credit cards my new challenge to clear them next year I know I can do it then my life cab really start maybe buy a house who knows my life will really start but for today I'm grateful for 47 days go on what have u got to lose other than you take back what gambling has taken x