Got to move on with my life....

Hi Claire , Welcome to the forum ! . Well done on being honest to your partner, thats usually the hardest thing to do but by doing so will allow you to move forward , it usually removes a great burden from our shoulders as well !

Great also to see that youv'e handed credit cards and cash responsibilities to him also .

Something that you have done day in, day out for the last 7 years is going to take some getting used to , I've gambled for well over 30 years , I haven't had a bet now for nearly 3 months , so if I can do it you should be just fine .

We have to stop completely , we are all compulsive gamblers and there are no half measures unfortunately , It's got a lot easier for me now , to a point where I dont think about gambling that much anymore , I will always have to be on my guard though but I really dont want to go back there again !.

Posting on here is a great way of releasing your tension , your among like minded people who understand what youe going through right now , so keep posting !.

All I can advise for now is to take one day at a time , keep yourself busy and the thoughts of gambling will soon ease.

Maybe have a chat to one of the gamcare team, by phone or online can sometimes be usefull ?.

Best wishes for now and talk to you again soon .................Alan who will not gamble today.

Hi Alan thank you for reply to my post, I agree it was in many ways a relief telling him and the only way I was ever going to move forward it's great to hear that the thinking about gambling does lessen a bit over time as at the moment it doesn't feel like I will ever stop thinking about it.

We have just got a puppy both because we love dogs but also to help me have a distraction/keep me busy and occupied and I hoping once the puppy gets bigger I will have a running partner which will give me a good reason to get out the house and exercise as my addiction is online slots when I have plenty of time on my hands sat at home I've always gambled and although I'm a stay at home mum my daughter goes to nursery every morning so we thought the puppy would be the perfect way to keep me busy whilst she is at nursery

By the way well done on not gambling for nearly three months that is a great achievement and gives me plenty of encouragement that I can do it too

Hi Claire, welcome to recovery 🙂

Are you even away that there is blocking software available? K9 is free but Gamcare advisors will be able to point you to the others. I note that you have carried on gambling despite handed over financial control, has this been with his blessing? If so, you need to tell him to be more strict with you! You must get your gambling triangle (Time-Money-Location, remove one & you cannot gamble) really broken like you are trying to do, no half measures!

I too gambled for almost 3 decades & when I first realised I had to give it up, I could not win because I could not stop, I was truely horrified. Today I treat it like an allergy, if I was allergic to nuts, I wouldn't sit chomping on Ferrero Rocher! If I can do it, anyone can!

There is likely to be a reason why you gamble & you may find chatting with an advisor or arranging some counselling useful! Being blinded by the constant thoughts will mean you are missing out on your daughter growing & she may feel that you are distracted & that is not fair on either of you!

Time for a deep breath, go get your life back - ODAAT

Thank you for your comments when I first told him he did not take my cards he thought he could trust me not to gamble since then I still gambled, then I broke down and told him I can't do it alone he has to take over the finances now he has taken my cards hence this being day 1 of no gambling.

Thanks for the advice on K9 I was not aware of this as for the counselling I think I may need it as I have gone through some very hard times in the past and I'm not sure I ever really dealt with things I just always turned to gambling to avoid dealing with my emotions and to escape

Hi Claire , great advice from ODAAT there , sorry I didnt realise you were still gambling and that this was day one for you !.

Me not paying attention again , sorry !

Most of us seem to use gambling to block out an underlying cause, or issue , it's our escape instead of dealing with reality , great idea with the puppy though , a chance to focus on something else , and keep fit !!.

Alan

Go for it, pick up the phone & sob your heart out to someone who won't be shocked or surprised but will help you move forwards.

That is a textbook reason for hitting the slots, get some help, you will never get over past heartaches but you can learn how to manage your pain.

Are you a member of a running club or do you do parkrun? Maybe getting out of the house when little one is @ nursery will be a welcome distraction for you?

Thanks for all your comments back is great to have support and advice.

In answer to your question not a member of a running club that's why I thought the puppy especially as she gets bigger will get me out more and give me something to do and I'll be getting exercise in the process so good for my all round health

Day 1 almost over now same again tommorow... Will be out with my sister tommorow so another day where I should be able to keep my mind off gambling

Puppy is a great idea & the more hours you put into the training the more rewarding she will be 🙂

It may still be worth a look @ parkrun though...If you can get out for 0900 hours on a Saturday morning? It will give you a chance to meet new people! We take the mutt with us (on the very rare occasion that we can drag ourselves out of bed) & he loves it...Attention & a run (well, slow trot for him), what's not to love 🙂

Thank you sounds a good idea especially if I can take her with me I'll look into it 🙂

Day two has started well I have kept myself busy this morning and feeling positive 🙂