Pelle
I've recently registered with the 'New Members' forum as I know I've a problem which needs to be addressed for my long term emotional and financial health. I first came across this site some 12 months ago when my 'issues' started and I recall spending some time reading your, and your contributors, enties. I was particularly interested in your diary, as like me its horses that are the problem. After getting interested in racing and starting to go regularily with friends about 7 years ago my problems started about 18 months ago. Up until then I was generally a responsible 'loser' and looked at the racing days as a social event with gambling attached'. However a fairly profitable day at the races combined with a recent bereavement and change of role at work to a more stressful job became the recipe for disaster. I thought I could solve my job/personal issues/demons with the highs of wins at the bookies. I think bookies became the issue. No on-line or phone betting for me-I 'like' to see the hard cash (betting tokens) disappear.
Anyway during the course of last year I lost £7,000 between May and Aug-which was when I came acroos this site. Told close friends who were concerned but re-assured when I said I was in control. Anyway I menaged to bet responsibly whilst at the races during the Jumps season so no more harm done. However two months ago stress/boredome/visions of a quick way to make some money struck and I lost £2,000 in an afternoon. Major shame/gulit etc followed and I felt that that was enough I will never gamble again and would certainly abstain from going to the races fo 12 months.
Sadly I've been away from work this week which meant I got interested in Ascot on Tues. The favourite for the first race couldn't lose at evens! Quick way for me to eradicate some recent losses! Got my hands on £3k cash drove to 4 bookies to spread the bet and felt fairly confident that I would be collecting later. I'm sure you can guess the rest!
As I've mentioned in my opening post I'm very fortunate when compared to many on this site in that I'm not in debt and have a house with a small mortage. Rather than having to pay debts off I'm living frugally to replace the lost monies. I've a reasonable but stressful job. I've worked and saved hard for over 30 years to achieve a certain level of financial security. My concern is that I jeopardise that position.
I know that I won't bet for some days/weeks to come as the feeling of despair is still strong. But I need to be strong to now realise that its best if I never have a bet again. That means looking at alternative thoughts/pastimes/friends but those are thoughts for a later day.
As mentioned I've read your diary with great interest and your initial thoughts on my situation/way forward would be appreciated.
Chris
You need to knuckle down and get some gamble-free days under your belt. The first days and weeks are hard, but the gambling urges will subside with time. Having said that, you always have to be on your guard as an urge can strike at any time, especially if you are bored with time and money on your hands. I never bothered with self-exclusion (too many betting shops in London and the staff do not seem to pay attention anyway) or computer blockers because they are not sufficient - I often used to bet on my mobile telephone, for example. You have to be strong willed and find something else to fill the void. I ended up obsessing with my debts to take my mind off gambling; my debts are a sobering legacy of the financial destruction gambling has caused and, bit by bit, I am paying them back. It is easy to think that a winning bet will solve all our financial problems, but it won't. Even if we win, we keep on gambling because we are greedy, obsessive and crave a "piece of the action". We continue until we lose and then we lose more until we have nothing left. Knuckle down, enjoy other pastimes and stay gamble-free. Good luck!
Day 46: no gambling today.
Day 47: no gambling today.
Day 48: no gambling today.
Just watched this: https://www.itv.com/itvplayer…4-britain-likes-a-bet-tonight
Depressing viewing. However, it makes me want to stay clean even more.
Day 49: no gambling today.
Day 50: no gambling today.
I have reached Day 50 without gambling and I feel much better for it. I reckon I have saved a minimum of £2,000 over the past fifty days. I now need to keep going and smash my way to Day 100. There are six months until Christmas and I need to pay off £5,000 worth of debt. Here we go...
I read an interesting entry on the moneysavingexpert forum, which suggested breaking down one's debts into 1% units and, with the use of a 100-square piece of paper or spreadsheet, to monitor one's debts and shade in the individual boxes one-by-one as debt repayments are made until one hundred boxes (100%) are shaded. It is a visual aid but, more importantly, it makes one's debts seem more manageable and finding different methods of earning or saving an extra 1% seem more realistic. As gamblers, it is easy to see our massive debts as a stumbling block past which we cannot see, so I think this method of breaking down our debts might help. In my case, I have £5,000 worth of debt so my 1% units are £50. I am aiming to earn/save an extra £50 per week between now and Christmas on top of my regular repayments, which will help me pay off an additional 25% of my debts (approx 25 weeks until Christmas). My aim is to pay off everything by Christmas so that I can start 2014 with a clean slate.
I had a crumb of good news yesterday in that I will receive a 1% pay rise from next month. Pretty poor but better than nothing, I suppose. I will also be promoted at work on Monday, albeit a promotion in terms of job title and not salary. I need to re-focus on my work after years of gambling distractions. There is a strong possibility of a new and better paid internal job becoming available in September/October so I may go for that, although I would have to beat off competition from one of my whining colleagues, who drives me up the wall sometimes. It would allow me to work at home more often rather than attending the office thus allowing me to spend more time with my family, which would be a big plus. We shall see...
Day 51: no gambling today.
Day 52: no gambling today.
Day 53: no gambling today.
Day 54: no gambling today.
Day 55: no gambling today.
Day 56: no gambling today.
Day 57: no gambling today.
Day 58: no gambling today.
Day 59: no gambling today.
Day 60: no gambling today.
Day 61: no gambling today.
I am now two months' gamble free and going abroad for two weeks on Monday during which time I will have no opportunity to gamble. My finances are still fragile, but they are in a much better condition than they would have been had I been gambling for the last two months. Onwards and upwards.
Well done with it all.
Have a good time abroad.
Day 62: no gambling today.
Day 63: no gambling today.
Day 64: no gambling today.
Day 65: no gambling today.
Day 66: no gambling today.
Day 67: no gambling today.
Day 68: no gambling today.
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Day 70: no gambling today.
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Day 74: no gambling today.
Day 75: no gambling today.
sent you a PM.
You're getting near the big 100, pelle - keep that iron will strong, please.
So no gambling then! 😉
Well done, regards... S.A 🙂
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