HARMONY !

Hola Shiny,

Soooo?? Did you like that vid? 🙂 it actually associated with all us soldiers on here lol..not if I'm calling us ants but ya know what i mean.

Ok, on a serious note i come by to see how you are doing today. Hope you have calmed down and peaceful sleeps to follow tonight. I guess we all have Pandora's boxes to be opened. But ya know then it's out and not suppressed inside, it gives us some breathing space and possibly more understanding. Hope you're benefiting from your counselling and even if it can be a bit hard sometimes, it is helping us to find that Harmony and peace with ourselves in a long haul.

Woteva you do, you do it for yourself and i suppose you agree with me here (yeepeee cmon just agree lol...plzzzz), we take some unhealthy options to cope away while putting the picture together. Which in our case is harmful addiction.

Keep staying safe and kind to yourself. Today that matters the most 🙂

Ciao amigo

S x

Hi Shiny,

Thanks for your supportive post on my diary. As for Elvis....not quite, more of a 70's disco diva!! ;0)

Belated birthday wishes heading your way from me, just caught up with a bit of your diary.

Hope all is good, as you haven't posted on your own diary for a wee while. Enjoy your weekend whatever you're doing and keep strong.

Take care.

Ade xx

Hi Shiny,

Other addictions are as harmful as gambling. First time in ages i stepped up and gave my alcohol issue complete abstinence. 3 weeks now and d**n girl, i can tell the difference. Still not sure what drove me to "relax" with a glass in hand...so much better and calmer with a cup of tea!!! Lol..look at me and my tea house lol (invite is open if you want to come by)

Ride the storm out girl, it can only head to better and calmer direction. I have counselling on Monday - dread it is not a word lol cause after 3 nightshifts i am usually out of it and very emotional. But hey ho, you just deal with it i guess.

Hope your weekend gets only better...you can make it better can't you? 🙂 keep smiling hun, life is too short for regrets.

catch ya later

Ps. My google is crashing from translating your words lol lol...could you spk English pls? 🙂

Going now before that slap landed on this mug

((((((S)))))) xxx

Yo,

So getting there I think. Got over my birthday , and have resigned myself that my daughter will be with me till at least March.But have made ground rules and managing to pull her up if she does not abide by them . On the whole she has not been too bad, being pregnant means she's off the drugs and alchol which makes it far easier to live with her .

Counciling can be tough but if it helps me to understand my behavours , then hopefully I will stop making the same mistakes over and over and over .

So after a few hard reflective days feel I am coming out the other side . Week off from my session this week , which is good I think ., give me time to catch my breath .

No thoughts of gambling now birthdays done and dusted , in front , with all my Xmas presents bought, and no thoughts of trying to recoup what I spent . So progress I feel ,

Laters

Shiny xx

Hiya,

Always nice to see your updates. Glad that storm from the session has passed and you are feeling a lot better.
So mothers and daughters eh? Lol..continued fight there i suppose in one way or the other. As long as the middle is reached there is no problem..and by the looks of it that balance between you two is present which is great 🙂

Hey girl, just wanted to thank you for your kind words and understanding. Not many people can "get" me lol..esp with my ever changing moods..ya see, it can take as little as two hours for those horns to dissapear and old calm Sandra to come bk to life. ..imagine that if I'm driving long distance lol..maniac on the road (close to Rach lol) and then the best driver in the country. .hallelujah lol

Ok, time to hit that work.
leave you with this to work out heh heh

SSAABKTY...YAWI

😀

S x

Hi Shiny,

Thanks for dropping in on my diary with your supportive post.

You sure are making progress....

Keep strong

Ade

Hey Shiny,

In response to what you wrote on my last post... The way I sees it; when words ring true they can never be spoken too often. But, just like the truth, you are too humble my friend. That is why Ms. Shiny, I hold you among some others on this site in such high regard. So, scream those words from the mountain tops and tell them to me daily just like a prayer: I cannot start because I cannot stop. It is what it is. Thank you, Shiny! -joanxxxxxxxxxx

Hey Shiny. Please drop me a line. Your diary has made interesting and positive reading today. You are one hell of a strong lady. I'm truly proud of you. Time and patience.

Natureboy xx

Aloha!!

Lol lol ya div!! 🙂 so ya think you will threaten me with some cockney slang ain't ya?? Lol
Hmmmm...let me try:
"Let's get down to the brass tacks"..or..."Look at your barnet! Council cut it for yer?"
Lol lol..hell..i'm done with all this cockney business lol.
ok, i shall free you from sleepless nights searching for the meanings on google and translators lol..all i meant yesterday was - Stay Safe And Always Be Kind To Yourself. ...You Are Worth It.
..lol..simples yer see :-))) not
rocket science then all of it is in this skull, just need to use the imagination.

Right, on a serious note. Thank you Shiny for your kind words and concerns about tomorrow (today). Yes, my councillor is very understanding and i feel at ease talking to her.i even start having eye contact more and stopped looking at the floor most of the time . sometimes i think she is playing a game who will blink first lol lol..joking here...but yep, i surely lack confidence. ..that's work in progress also.
it's weird cause everyone at work is scared of me lol and i come across very confident. Maybe one of them things where that mask has to go on and brave face has to be present for the whole shift. Sometimes a look of a bull dog chewing on a bone is enough lol...and they dash away lol..
Nahh..i am as soft as silk really, it just depends on situation.

Oki..time just flies eh. Best get going. .
You stay safe and look after yourself ok..another step closer to that Everest 🙂 step in step we shall skip to that final destination called - HARMONY & PEACE.

Be proud,
Hugs and more hugs... ((((Shiny)))))

S x

Hey,

Hope meeting went well and those hours flew by. Opposite to you, i like driving...(only if im at the wheel lol)..better than flying or boat trip 🙂

Keep being kind to yourself and catch up on good rest girl. Another step to the right direction. ..well done ms Shiny. Keep it up.

S x

Good morning Shiny,

No sleep for the wicked lol..
Hell i actually thought you put "driving" instead of "travelling"..my bad...sorry. it must be my English lol.

Glad to read you're back home safe even if the day was a bit up the wall.. i guess we just never know what to expect of such a events and you have to be in it to see for yourself lol.

As you see..i have bounced bk from my underground feelings and start talking a bit lol. Hell girl, that counselling sometimes just takes my energy away. I know i was tired and all that but...that mind f**k up is present and quite scary. I spend longer than i should of..once again (she had a cancellation) and d**n didn't i want to get the f**k out and under the wheels of passing car..again... i get very distressed and particularly today i opened my eyes fully and looked around at what destruction i created around me. The thought of a sorting it all out is the most scary and challenging. ..even tiny ants hill comes to the size of everest to me..i know i need to go through process of acknowledging my shortcomings and doing something about them. I am an addict. .with many unhealthy habits, and everything seems quite gloomy now...but i tend to forget that i am actually making slow progress and moving on..a lot more to do...but have to prioritise the most important issues...

Ok..i suppose i should of put it all on my diary lol..just couldn't stop that ramble. ..sorry..

Deep down i want to come out the other end. If i didn't believe i wouldn't be typing to you now. I like this life, and believe that i can make it more comfortable place to be...i hope to wake up one day and feel like i belong here too...
Will i ever feel like it? Better f****n do!! lol.. cause i deserve better and peaceful things in this life..same as you and everyone on this earth. If We are causing destruction to ourselves. ..we can create happiness and peace also don't you think? .yes, we can drop these chains and set ourselves free. Life is very short..we need to make the most out of each day..even if not perfect day, but less painful and destroying. We simply can my friend so what are we waiting for?

Ramble over lol. That's it 🙂

...now onto more positive stuff. .. lol lol..i knew i had to use my diary..but since its church and open for everyone, i am gladly using the opportunity 🙂 ..
.. plan today is to do everything i didn't do yesterday lol..which is all the rest of that list except counselling. ..yesterday's session just rocked the boat and i spend all day gazing at the waves on the beach looking gone out..yes..charming for sure lol

I am going now for sure...god i am like old rattling radio ffs lol

Take care and b kind to yourself. ..if you do that i will do it also 🙂

Ciao amigo

S xxx

P.s hope today is not gonna take you 14hrs of commuting to get over with. Jump on a plane instead lol..stay safe and out of streets girl.

Aha!!! So Shiny is a bit of James Bond lol..hell girl, you can have my tread and if it feels safer for you use it for as long as you want to. There is only rambles there anyway lol so a bit of wise thoughts will only make it look better lol
I like your tread so we might as well do a swap here haha..

Thank you for your kind thoughts and i guess there is plenty of stones to chuck in that pond till we dry that water out lol...up for this challenge for sure 🙂

Ya know...nahh you don't lol. I never really spoken to you in the past but as more i do now as more connection i see. ..both addicts for the start lol..both dealing with some issues with a help of counselling, both dedicated to weekend work lol, both attempting to climb up that mountain (let it be different sizes but still mountains) and both "get" it. Ya know what i mean...don't have to say it clearly but there is always a meaning between the lines. So that said, i think we are both perfectly certified for this amazing life lol and moving to the same direction. ..day at a time of course.

So ho ho ho Shiny is getting that hat on! Yeeeppeee..where are you holding that event? I might just get there in time lol. I have a works do this coming weekend but already doubting myself...but since I'm committed to that change i might aswell show my face and have a laugh with people i want to see the least on my days off lol..

Hope it all goes well and yesterday will be soon forgotten. Meetings are pain in a b*m and i hate them too. Esp if you talk to management about issues and get just empty nods back..just frustrates me..but not much i can do. Am not gonna save the company on my own lol. I suppose i am well off the subject here and your meetings in your field are completely different to mine..but idea is the same lol

Ok..enough waffling. ..but since it's my tread i can go on for ages 😀

Later ms Santa's helper, hav a brill day and enjoy! !

S xx

Lol Shiny..i was just setting off for a run..but as soon as opened the door, it's chucking down with rain..well I'm not made of sugar but i guess i better stay in with a cup of hot tea instead..

I get your drift girl and felt pretty much the same with the site. More since Rach left the diaries cause let's admit she was one huge source of wisdom combined with anger, laughter and honesty. All in one ..lol..made this site tick for sure! I do sometimes think i shouldn't be posting this much too and sort of go and get a life as i say..but this is my second home and i am caring person. I see past this addiction, i see hurting people willing to give their best shot at this recovery. It's like family for me..plus i have learned on a way that getting things out is the best therapy. Not very charming things but if it helps me to move on..let it be..you've got to be selfish sometimes and find what works for you the best.

So...Senior manager eh?! I am already scared of you lol. I like your view of enabling workers to develop and make the most out of their skills.
I am a bit of a ladder climber myself lol..of course if i want to. My workplace shouts out about opportunity for development and blah blah..but courses never comes in place. Useless fookers lol..it's like now, i have my PDP lined up with more that 10 courses to attend..been waiting for a year..yep..you guessed right, since we are busy and they cannot afford to work short staffed, they prefer to keep me in and not let out for courses. How that figures? I want to learn!! Lol lol

It is good to see that there is still managers out there caring about their staff and not looking at them as numbers, cause that's what i am - a number in their book..well at least they makes me feel this way.
I am not happy clappy at work but yes, mask goes on i want it or not. I have many responsibilities and trying to do my best in my role. Work is work at the end of the day, the time always comes to sign out and head bk to reality of the day..

It still grinds me down sometimes lol..but that's you lot (managers) to blame lol lol..kidding here.
Credit for you my dear friend; you are a good person and shining the light ahead for sure :-)))))

Ho ho ho..just go and do it!!! Enjoy 😀

((((((((Shiny))))))) xxx

Aloha!!!

Just before i can peacefully go to sleep lol..i wanted to share these words about life..
Will take some reading so make sure you have that coffee in your hand to help you stay awake lol.
I do relate to this and should remember this every day...maybe i will..since it is on my new tread 😛 heh....

This is your LIFE;
•Do what you love and do it often;
•If you don't like something - change it;
•If you don't like your job - quit;
•If you're looking for the love of your life - stop, they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love;
•Stop over analysing - life is simple;
•When you eat, appreciate every last bite;
•Open your mind, eyes and heart to new things and people; we are united in our differences;
•Ask the next person you see what their passion is and share your inspiring dream with them;
•Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself;
•Some opportunities only come once - seize them;
•Life is about people you meet and the things you create so go out and start creating;
•Life is short; live your dream and wear your passion.

Well..that's it for this lovely early morning. Hope ho ho ho event went well and that smile come as emotion from within eventually.

Have a good and safe day today.. keep outta streets and trouble of course :-)))

Sandra - bonkers signing out lol

S x

Hiya to my lovely friend.

Thanks for the post on my diary.

It's good to talk. I have a feeling that I'm following your path just lately. I'm sure you'll understand what I mean by that. This smug git used to think he was so far ahead. Not anymore. I now know exactly where you were coming from. stay focussed hun.

Ian xxx