HARMONY !

Yo yo Shiny,

..it's not fair! Lol..it's just such a suffocating feeling where i feel trapped. cornered....desperate to run away from myself but nowhere to turn..i obviously cannot be a normal person, leading normal life. Addictions outweighs it all and i dash for them not giving a second thought. I just feel utterly disgusted with my life...i don't want to feel like that but i do...

I am sounding very depressed. .sorry, i am just honest..
Still, I'm standing and fighting. I guess it's worth it. S***e just tend to pile up all at once..such is life...good things usually follows After eh 🙂

You are very understanding person.you know what it takes to manage them thoughts (Cycle )...you are very wise to separate emotions. May long it continue for you my friend.

Look after yourself, be kind to you and keep moving on.

All i have to move on to now is crappy work lol lol..let it be..need to earn my living 🙂

Later amigo.
Thank you

S x

Ps. I love my work really :-)...might as well move over there to spend more time with my lovely, understanding, encouraging colleagues....ha ha ha lol

Safe place to be.

Xx

Hi there,

God it's like a maze in my head. Self inflicted for sure.
I get your drift girl, no way i ever looked for perfection in myself. Maybe i used to try and fit in crowds before, but that also was a lesson in my life and you cannot change who you are.
Yes you are right, we are what we are and it is what it is.
All i want is find that peace in myself to be able to function in daily life. I am my own worst enemy...very rare i am my friend. Any sense here?
Chewing on that cud and thinking of them square pegs..unique pegs lol cause i believe none of us in this world can perfectly fit in those spaces..but on the same note, do we really want to do so? Perfectionism doesn't exist. .. (unless you work in my place lol)...

Ok Shiny, i perfectly get you here. ..me and blowing things out of proportion is quite normal for me. Should of get used to that by now lol.
It could be worse. .definitely it could. I just think that a bit too much got on my shoulders this lovely festive season...i shall calm down, get absolutely hammered on a weekend and at least enjoy one way of escapism. Just can't stay on top on both addictions, i am not ready. Not gonna beat myself up, just hope my prioritised addiction i am fighting on will not surface back up..
Madness for sure.

Have a good day tomorrow. As you know work keeps us on the level...even if that smilie mask goes on more than should do.

Look after yourself and keep believing. That never dies...the oxygen to help us to move on.

Tk care

S xx

Ps. If i were you i would swap those muddy boots for comfortable pair of shoes..and get on a concrete for the better surface :-)))

Good evening and just a fly by to see how your day has been today 🙂
Shiny, Sandra here wanted to apologise for being so pessimistic and sounding low recently ..i am negative and as Castle once said...behaviour breads behaviour. So, as we both know we get each other on these feelings and i best share my thoughts then I'm on a "up" lol..while I'm on it :-)))

I am a bit tapped in a head ain't i?.lol..searching for things somewhere outside the box, while they are scratching my eyes shouting open them lol..part of my job is to think outside the box and just maybe i take everything too serious which leads million of ?????? Surfacing up..

I am here and now. I am different to you the same as to everyone else..what unites us? This very same journey. The same hurdles we get through on a way, and challenges we are facing.

You my friend helped me great deal to open these eyelids and look around...it's not that bad and not as scary as i thought.
Me, same as you making a progress. ..let it be tiny little steps, but still we move on forward.

On that note - be proud and i will be proud of myself too!!! Be kind to yourself, reach for your dreams and win every single day, no matter if its only little things, but still makes you feel like you achieved something. Today my friend you have achieved a lot and and deserve to be proud.... i shall stop bloody rambling now lol and get on with my evening 🙂

(((((((Shiny)))))))

Hope tomorrow is calm and lovely for you..you're worth it!

S xx

Hey girl,

Yep, chimp paradox will be read and analysed over the weekend. (I do like reading) Just had a quick look and yes, already downloaded it 🙂
Here is me always blaming my star sign (Gemini) on the two split personalities feature, but looking into it from more scientistic way it makes more sense.
My chimp brain defo controls my human brain most of the time and at least i can agree on that one lol...little monkey eh lol.. Shall read the book and come back with my findings 🙂

Thank you for suggesting it.
No work do for me tonight, gonna be selfish and spend the night warmly tucked up and relaxed at home.

Have a good weekend and you know where i am if up for the healthy debate, sharing your ideas or banter 🙂

Take care and stay safe

(((((Shiny)))))

S xx

Hi Shiny,

I know you haven't posted on your diary for a bit, so just thought I'd pop by and say hi.

Hope you are feeling ok

Take care

Ade x

Hi Shiny,

No rest for the wicked eh 🙂
Hope shift goes well and i didn't realise you do night ones too..hope plenty of sleeps to follow in a morning.

Well girl, this site helped me so much in understanding of what this addiction is all about and how it affects others. I stand by my belief and keep shouting from the roof tops that there is always underlying reason for this behaviour....or other addictions we tend to pick up on the way.

i have asked many questions in my time on here. I have come to conclusion that i will never understand how human's mind works. It is too big of a challenge for me to work it all out.

I feel it's time for me to move on. Relief for all of you lol..my rambles are just senseless thoughts most of the time.

Listen girl, i found many friends on here, only one of them has turned her back on me...which is understandable..(i guess lol..still in a deep woods on that one..but all for their own)..anyway, i shall open an offer for you to swap email addresses with me if you like to, i am one tough piece of work lol..as you can tell by my posts lol.....but even if i was told once by my friend from here..."i'm sorry i cannot support you any longer", and i shall say in return what i have always said to everyone " i will be here and support you unconditionally, even if you spit in my face...i will be here on good and bad for as long as you feel you need me here".

That said, whatever you decide i will always respect your decision.
Gotta go now, take a good care of yourself, be kind to you and the ones around you. World is in your hands, embrace the unknown.

Take care hun

S x

opps

Shiny xxx

Thank you so much for your concerns girl. I made it and made it without beating myself up 🙂
No bookies, casinos or other nasty dragon's dens will ever get our hard earned cash!! We are in control even if stumble on a way sometimes..we are still the winners.

Day at a time

Thank you again

S xx

Duplicate 🙂

Dublicate no 2

Hello Shiny.

What's your thread doing on page 4? Hope you're ok.

Ian xx

Hi shiny

Just popping in to wish you a merry Xmas , I hope all is well on all fronts , it's great to see you bonding with Sandra that girl has a heart of gold , X factor over jess didn't even watch the final she didn't like the final 3 lol she's turned her attention to xmas now ! Then it's CBB in January , reality all the way for her kids love it !

Have a good one

Castle2

Hiya 🙂

I'm just on a roll with posting...manic addiction this is lol.
Hope today is good to ya, wishing ya peace and harmony with yourself going forward.

Don't rush...- day at a time 😉

Hugs,

Sandra xxx

Happy New Year Shiny! ;0)

Hope all is good

Take care

Ade x