HARMONY !

shiny.

my dear friend I slid that glass down the saloon bar, you grabbed it and whoosh down in one.

the lid off that bottle, the honourable Mr.I B somewhere in the background, (Selfishly i do miss that fella hugely) you aspire to do the right thing. for that a huge well done.

Today you made me think about 'survival mode' something i think brings out the best in us, years of making ends meet after feeding the fobt too much of the hard earnt.

not any more.

thanks for sharing.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hey shiny ..

No big sermon ..just to say that I know you will get over this bump in the middle lane ...seatbelt on and keep vigilant Hun...you've kept your Shiny car well maintained so this period of time will soon pass....

R and D xx

Morning shiny

Its amazing how different we value money now and when we have to depart with a large amount, I found it really difficult in Blackpool over the week the money was dwindling away like yourself though it was planned and there to be spent and yes the urges were there to try and win it back but they soon passed

That better life is already here for both of us and it will only continue to get better, this amazing site and the good people on here continue to help make that difference the support is so crucial and plays such a big part in all our recoveries

Its honestly a pleasure to share our journeys drawing strength from each other to be inspired for our futures or sometimes to get through the next day

Always here for you

Castle2

Yo,

Thank you guys ...... Your support as always much appreciated .

Well there maybe light at the end of my tunnel, but someone took the bulb out today .

The sell of the shop fell through ......

So my next move has to be to give my ex two choices .

We go to a solicitor and start to find a way to get out and wind the business up without going bankrupt.

Or he becomes sole owner and I get my name taken off .

He wants to stay cos , well he lives there and is reluctant to leave with nothing , me I just want out .

But can no longer throw money at it , because at the end of the day it's a bottomless pit , with no return .

Bit like a FOBT .

To do this I will probs have to file for legal separation .

Which will not go down well.

Think the most frustrating thing today , when he asked me for yet more money and I told him that this was the last . He said but you got lots of money your inheritance . Hmmmmmmmmm. Nice .

So tomorrow in the shop working 🙁 and time to rock the boat and deliver ultimatums .

Am I strong enough to do it ?

Yep a year ago no , but I am now . It's s***t I want the whole thing over , but through recovery am learning , if you want change you have fight for it .

Nothing comes easy ....... And waiting around hoping things will change ...... Well it just doesn't happen less you make it happen.

Laters

Shiny xxxx

Hi Shiny

Sorry to hear your sale fell through but I can see you have other contingencies so you will be able to cut your losses and go.

I guess somedays you feel like you have already moved on but just going through the motions in body until its all finalised one way or the other...a business is like a baby .

About 20 yrs ago I just pulled the shutters down on my business and handed back the keys ,just wanted out and took a 40k hit...I never looked back and my only thought now was why didn't I do it earlier as it was good money after bad. My business partner did not want to let go.

Dang right you have to fight for recovery as in my experience when you change yourself and become stronger it really seems to pish off some folks who want you back the way you were..and controllable.

You will get through this Shiny and yes you are strong enough and will get stronger...you have to keep putting yourself first and climbing up.

All you can do is remain business like and deal with your feelings in a safe place.

R and D xx

Shiny.

Again sorry to hear the sale of the shop fell through, I hope you find a solution soon, sounds like the boot is on the other foot regards your husband!!

When I read that line, it felt like winding the clock back and just like something I would say!!

For that I believe is another gift recovery gives us, we take stock of ourselves, try to take the good out and bin the bad, if something in our life does'nt warrant our efforts then we should be true unto ourselves. There is no place in your life for a stable without the horse so to speak, in that I know you will find a solution.

My hope is it is the one which actually suits you. As my friend You are worth it.

Please remember that.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Shiny,

Really sorry to read about the shop sale falling through. I hope you find a solution to this problem and soon. You sure do take some kicks to the teeth girl. Thankfully you are made of strong stuff.

Tomso.

Yo,

A few developments today . Gave my ex the ultimatums this morning . His face said how shocked and disappointed he was I would not work in here for free on my days off , if took over as sole owner .

The worm they say has turned .

Off he went to golf , then knock me down with a feather agent rings to say , sale back on , terms and conditions accepted . Exchange of contracts should take place within a week .

So who ever that kind person was who put the light bulb back in at the end of my tunnel, I thank you with every part of my being.

Holding my breath ........

Watch this space .....

Laters

Shiny xxxxx

Shiny,

I hold my breath for you too:) Fingers crossed darling, i know it all will work out well.

You deserve a good rest from all of it and get that peace with yourself back, just where it belongs to..

Take care

Sandra x

Yo,

Reading a few posts around the forum and wanted to put in my two pennies worth .

Some great thoughts coming out bout doing the lottery , or buying a raffle ticket .

I too believe that total abstinence is the key .

Gambling took so much more than money from me . It took my sanity,(4 weeks in a physictic hospital being the proof of that )and to this day my mental health is something that I am still working on regaining . So the question is for me , would it be worth the risk ?

I had a knock at the door this week, a very elderly gent was canvassing for folk to sign up to enter the martlets

weekly draw . To raise money for hospice care .

Well obvously a subject cause close to my heart after recent events .

Needless to say , I declined . Because ultimately it is not worth the risk .

I know that some will think , oh come on Shiny it's hardly going to see you battering down the door to l@dbrooks within a week. But again I reiterate its not worth the risk no matter how minuet that risk may be .

Do not get me wrong ,I have like so many on this site relapsed several times over the years . So have not quite perfected things yet , and maybe never will .

But the way I see it is that if you play with fire eventually you get burnt .

Laters

Shiny xxxxx

Hi Shiny

Thanks for your input on this. totally respect that if for you buying a lottery or raffle ticket may mean a return to the bookies then sure, dont do it.

I just cant see the connection myself, possibly due to my recovery route separating out all types of gambling to an extent but I kind of look at it that someone would put £100 on a horse or into an FOBT machine or on football or whatever, but I dont know anyone who would buy £100 worth of lottery tickets in a week or who would say to someone selling raffle tickets for charity, 'give me £100 worth'.

The difference for me is with a gambling area you are addicted to you are out of control and obsessed with winning, or you keep ploughing time and money into it as a means of esacpe from reality or to get a buzz.

I would have thought anyone buying a lottery or raffle ticket can just see it as money being given to charity, the thought of winning or getting a buzz or escaping from reality just wouldnt come into thought. I've bought a lottery ticket every week since it started but when breaking down all my gambling types that wasnt even on my list. Same with buying a raffle ticket.

But as I say, if you and others somehow link them up and it causes a problem for you, better to say No.

Hi Shiny Pants,

I hope the exchange of contracts happens soon and you can start to get on with the rest of your life.

(((((( shiny pants )))))))

take care

blondie xxxxxxx

Thanks for the post Shiny and No, you explained yourself fine and I know you need to keep well.

I just dont understand the connections as I've never even come close to experiencing them myself.

Hi Shiny,

Just wanted to thank you for the great supportive post last night. i did have hell of a bad few days, but reading your post not only brought tears to my eyes, but helped me to realize that is not as bad as it looks like. You are right, it is very slow progress, and i'm just moving forward by little baby steps......No matter how slow, i will get there....

Thank you again, it is most appreciated.

I hope you keeping well and wish you all the best in your journey. You doing brilliant i have to say:)

Keep it up

Sandra x

Hi Shiny,

Just a flyer to say thank you for your post the other night. I needed the lift and there you were. Thanks again pal. -joanxxxxx