HARMONY !

Hey Shiny star 🙂

Today is a lot better than yesterday...I am glad I can join back the race of life. Anyone ever told you that you have powers to safe souls? Yes you have, maybe I best call you my guardian angel 🙂

Thank you for being here all the way

(((((S))))) xxx

Yo..........Wanna start singing Blue...Drive by now........My Shiny will get it...lol

Hiya Hun.....Am back.......need a Womble pic that looks bit sheepish?

Hope you ok my friend?

Womble xxx

Shiny my friend...If it makes people smile it's a bonus I didn't think I would ever come back but....look at me...No halfs...full freekin hog!

Just do it your way.....whatevever works!

Womble xx

Hi Shiny...

..May I come in for a little ramble? Lol...church seems open cause I was able to log on 🙂 well I'm here now so best not to waste time..

I just simply can't believe how strong our mind is. I always thought that addiction is strong, but it's not is it? It's our mind working it's way through for better things or worse. One day ground seems like opening up and everything around you dissapearing. ..the other, that sun is shining bright and leading you the way forward. .recent days I had them both, I never seen so dark side of myself before...only to snap out of that state in early morning and get in my car. All it took for me was to look at the sunrise, it took me few seconds to weight my options..I was getting so upset with myself for not wanting to walk on this earth. That was the biggest mind fight I ever had.

God, not sure what I'm trying to say here. I am here and in a lot positive mindset. I am blessed to walk this ground, see the sun, feel and taste. I am blessed to live. ..so why I keep trying to self destruct myself? ..I switched off today and that was the best feeling ever simply switch off and don't think. I felt the weight lifting off my shoulders but I also know that it is not gonna be permanent feeling. I admit I need help and I will reach for that help as I did last year. I want my mindset to see more positivity than negativity. I know it is there, it's only time of finding it.

I am proud to be fighting for my freedom and wellbeing. Only if it's for today, it can't be worse than yesterday. I will keep making the right choice, Welcome the unknown with open arms and step out of this dark place into the bright daylight we all so deserve.

Don't know why but sooo felt I needed to write t you. Apologies if not much sense, but I think you will find some similarities along these lines...

Take care Shiny, never give up giving up, proud to walk beside you..even if a little injured for know...I will still hop along 😉

Thank you for letting me in.

Well girl, some strong words you shared on my tread. Thank you and have to agree with every single one of them. Seeing something good in us is the hardest task, well it is for me.im used to taking positives out of my life and analysing only negatives..booo such a wrong way to go forward lol.

Opportunities in life are endless, I know I can do so much with my life but yep, lack of confidence and that f*****g stick I beat myself up with always trips me down.. .

I don't think I am bad person. If being honest is bad thing then...well, maybe I should stop opening my gob as much as I do lol. No way I'm perfect, I'm just a soul which joining every day race which called life. It is not a smooth ride and yes, I admit my shortcomings.

Life can be better place to be, I am working on seeing it in different perspective. I am my worst enemy too, maybe it is time to mk friends with myself? Progress not perfection, I am sure this life will improve little by little. It is improving while I'm typing lol cause I'm letting positive thoughts win and see myself as a person worth more than tears in my life. Will be long road ahead, I will need that guidance to get bk where I was so not long ago, I will accept the reality and take the help I need again.

Anyhoo lol, on the last note..working at nights should be banned!!! Lol 🙂

Hope you got well deserved rest and sleep in.

Be kind to you too my Shiny friend xx

Church is open for everyone 🙂

Just very short note, because don't want to get too much in your face.

Shiny, it is hard to put into words how much you have helped me during this very confusing time over the last few days. Not gonna get emotional lol, so just thank you so much. Your words was sent from God and was just something this lost soul needed to hear at the most challenging time.

Stay safe and be kind to yourself girl.you are one fantastic person and I hope you know it.

S x

Have you got some sort of powers? Lol..right, first hi and thanx for coming by with a bucked of well interesting thoughts. So ya beat urself up for beating urself up eh? Very similar position I find myself in too. It is hard to be kind to yourself when negativity is everywhere you look., but it is work in progress to separate good and bad. None of us are perfect and f**k show me one person who didn't make mistakes in life.

Are we bad people for having this problem? -NO.We never asked to get addicted and more importantly we are in recovery and mak8ng a change to our behaviours. That surely is positive.

Ya know you mentioned Rach in your post. d**n I think that girl was god send. The insight she had on recovery was and still is so inspiring. Taking good out of bad is the key and there is sooo much good to be taken out of all this. Live and learn eh, I suppose only one person can do that and that person is ourselves.

I see gambling as a action at the time being when we need to run far away from ourselves. ..the thing is we soon come back to us and dealing with the consequences destruction leaves us with again. Best not to start we say..yes, best turn around first and look into ourselves before making that step in the wrong direction.

You , me and everyone on here and giving ourselves that chance to make our lives better, more importantly find that peace and harmony with ourselves. ..the rest will always follow.

Be proud my Shiny friend, god u remind me of Rach a lot lol..hammer keeps going down at this skull till some sensible thoughts coming back to life lol. Thank you

That said, hope session went well and you are a step closer to where you want to be. I have surely made a leap for the better today and I have to thank you and more great souls I have found on this site. Life is for living, let's do it!! 🙂

((((((S)))))) xx

Just wanted to drop by to ask you how ya doing? Hope you still being kind to yourself. ....unwritten deal is on 🙂 forever

S x

Hiya Shiny one,

Want to echo what Sandra said and hope you are treating your self well?

Much love and thanks for your support my friend.

Sue xx

Hi Shiny,

Just popping in 2 say I hope u r ok and staying strong xx

Hi Shiny

Popping by to thank you for being here on tough and good times. You have an amazing gift to express yourself and dragged me out of the deep more than once.

Keep looking after yourself, keep taking good out of bad and keep believing my friend.

Take care

Sandra x

...hiya 🙂

Just popping by to see how you are doing and to tell you that I'm keeping my word and being kind to myself. Hope you do the same...thank you so so much for all the support and understanding, will never forget that.

(((((((Shiny)))))))

S x

Hi Shiny,

Your name popped up in a post I was reading and I got to thinking about you. That's all. Nothing brilliant to share. Just thinking about you. Take care of yourself Shiny. Oh what the hell... here's a hug too. ((((((((((shiny))))))))) 🙂 -joanxxx

Yo,

Bit of an update bout me.

Relapsed badly in March took me to a really bad place.

But took a decision to seek help and have been seeing a councillor weekly ever since . Had one small blip about 6 weeks ago but have been clean since.

Slowly , with help coming out from the darkness that a major relapse causes .

Know the triggers , having no trouble identifying the what , when and why so speak. Taking steps , putting things in place to diminish the possibly of another relapse . Will it work ?, who knows but hay every tool in the armoury .

Frustrated I suppose that I made such major changes in my life last year to try to give me the peace and contentment that I craved , only to see it all go belly up so those tough choice although the right ones did not wipe away the damage done over the previous years . Because ultimately once an addict always and addict .

Suppose it took over 50 years to become the person I am and maybe it will take the same to redress those leant unhealthy behavours

What's important I think is to never give up, I strive everyday to get a handle on my compulsive personality , actively seek out the help I need and slowly I think that help is making a difference . I have started to notice suttle changes in my distorted thinking , no longer spend my life trying to keep the world and everyone in it happy. Have learnt to say no to people without guilt which is a very new concept for me .

Have not got to a point that I like the person I am, and not sure if I ever will. But maybe I don't hate me quite as much as I did .

Not sure this any of this will make sense to those of you reading this . Maybe those of you who followed my journey who knows .

Over and out for now

Shiny xxxx

o*g my Shiny friend, sooo good to hear from you. You know i wondered before and little bits by bits tried to work out what you are going through...only by your little comments on my diary couple of months back. I so wanted you to get it all out of your chest, but my friend, we all have our own ways to deal with troubles and life itself. I must of just wanted you to know i am here..maybe feeling bad for accepting your support but not being able to offer mine..

Anyway, by the sounds of it you are still fighting and marching on.i find it the toughest thing, to admit we need help. It requires a lot of strength..you are one strong person and i have to high five you for your admirable determination. Ya know i come to terms to accepting that i need help. I had counselling last year and it did help me. It gave me belief and understanding about myself. Dealing with past issues and blah blah lol...the thing is, on the last session me and my counsellor found a root cause for my anxiety...but we didn't have time to work on it...

I think i need to ask for some help again. Just to help me to sort some things out..maybe antidepressants too..not sure yet, i am really not up to chemical help in my system, but saying that i was on tablets before but as many people does.. i just cut it off..wrong thing to do.

Anyway, rambling here. Just want to thank you for your update. We have to keep moving on even if it feels like we stuck in one place...there is no rush..only one step at a time. Please touch the base more often, you are always missed.

Take a good care of yourself and just keep kicking all the addictions into touch.

Later 🙂

S x