Help

Day 191 today.

A day to reflect on exactly how much I have gone through and still remain gamble free. I have no urges to gamble and feel really positive that life is gonna be okay now.

Hope all following my journey can take a little from it. A life gamble free is the only way people, stay strong all.

Matt

See this is the thing, she doesn't want you Matt (and I am sorry to be harsh) but she wants your house and her to keep you. Be firm, if she cannot afford a solicitor, tell her to get legal aid. Get the solicitor involved and get them to deal with her, that is what your paying them for. Only deal with necessitys with her. Anything else, keep professional. She had a choice, but she made her choice, and it was easier for her to walk away, rather than support you. It will be over soon. You have so so much to offer someone coming into your life.. I am rooting for you Matt, I really am. xx

Julie x

Good advice from Julie re letting solicitor deal with her...I did it with an ex, reduces how much they can hurt you. We were married, the house had been mine before we married, he had invested some money in it, and said that he was going to take half of everything and force me and my kids to move; he was going to take half of all the furniture....basically he got back the cash he had invested, and personal possessions. You have come so far Matt, this time just has to be got through...it will come to an end.

Thank you both. It has been a mad period but last night, after a barrage of abuse earlier in the day she finally said she is going to get a solicitor and will accept my offer. She also said she is leaving the house (as her daughter comes first and she will not let her live with me). She also text to say her new boyfriend has to go to court and has social workers to deal with (they sound like a match made in heaven hey?). Still he is a better option than me so she can run with that.

I am finding some confidence, some happiness and I am determined that my future will be one I will do my best to be proud of. Obviously I miss her little girl so so much but I accept my exes choices and I have to adhere to them. I will always think of my time with her daughter with nothing but fond memories.

This has stopped my gambling in it's tracks along with anything else my low self esteem problems of the past caused. I really want a family of my own one day and I will always remember the little girl who firmly switched that part of my heart on.

Hi Matt

Just had a catch-up on your diary and must say stay positive mate like you have being doing and must agree with Julie she is wanting everything she's had in the past whilst living with you, but has to realise this was her choice and has to accept what changes come her way. One day at a time mate is the best way forward for us to deal with a non gambling life !! I must also admit that councilling sessions have helped me very much in giving me answers as to why I gambled and I have taken a lot from these sessions.

All the Best

Darren

DAY 192

Hi Darren

Yeah I know mate. She said Tuesday eve by text that she will accept my offer and will move out and will no longer contribute any money to the running of the house as her daughter cannot live under the same roof as me as she has to put the wellbeing of her daughter first. Last night both her and her daughter returned to the house, so I guess that went out of the window then!

Glad you have gone the councilling route, it was incredible for me. Stay strong Darren and thanks for the post.

Day 195 done.

Busy weekend and a lot of fun. Went out locally with some new friends I met in the area yesterday eve. Had tge house to myself so had a little after party and a few stayed over. They left earlyish and I had a lay in as it was a late late night! At about 11am I was woken by some banging on my bedroom door, my ex was saying she needed to get something out of the bathroom. I said what is it I will pass it to her, she then was like let me in. I said I will be out in half hour. She then saidif I had anyone in my room they need to get out as her daughter was coming home for an Easter egg hunt! The girl obviously judging me by her standards. Not quite sure what it would matter if there was anyone in my room, she obviously forgot her new boyfriend was downstairs!

Be happy when this period of my life is done!!

Hey matt,

I read your early stories and like me we've constantly slipped up but finally on the right track.

I'll have a read of this thread later...but not long till 200 days mate, great effort pal

Mba

Day 197 today, getting close to the double century.

Had a really good weekend. Ex tried to turn the screw yesterday asking me not to come back to the house until she accepts my offer and moves out, saying it's not a nice environment for her daughter etc. Just a standard emotional blackmail text, pretty used to those now!

It is her causing the atmosphere not you...You live you life Matt and let her get on with her's. It is her daughter that I feel sorry for, but and this is a huge but that is not your problem now. She keeps saying when she accepts your offer and she won't be coming back to the house etc. I think you may need to push that one matey...really force her into moving, there is a long hot Summer of parties and meeting new people, and new friends staying over for you, your young, you have so much to offer....onwards and upwards Matt xx

Hi Julie

Yep she has a sense of entitlement like no one I have ever met. I can see her for what she really is now. I feel for her daughter, that is the only love I have left now but the little one doesn't speak to me now so I guess on strict instruction from her Mum. Last night they were both at home and her new man stayed. Not many would put up with this rubbish but the only reason I do is for her child.

Cannot wait until she is gone and car crashed her life somewhere else. Looking forward to summer!!

Day 198 begins today, I am so far away from any thoughts of gambling I couldn't be happier.

Lovely to read and hear just how happy you are Matt. Day 200 is almost here for you. Make sure you do something nice/treat yourself!

Take care.

Our Lady

I am getting there, thank you O L. Just want this chapter firmly closed so the new one can begin!

Day 199 today....one away from the double century. Crazy to think what I have gone through in this time.

Well Day 200 is here.

Last night an interesting one. A friend of mine headed down for dinner. Before he arrived my ex excelled herself with the ultimate emotional abuse....She stood behind her daughter and said to me...."this little girl hates you for what you have done, you are forcing her to move schools and leave her home". I didn't reply I just turned up the gas on the hob and cooked my stir fry. Weirdly I feel immune to these verbal attacks now, maybe it will hit me at a later date who knows. I am guessing by what she has said she is leaving the area to be closer to her new boyfriends home town but yeah that is my fault.

Anyway day 200, I do feel a small sense of pride today.