So today is 44 days without a bet, I’ve had a terrible time since Covid. No excuses though and no looking back, the damage and debt is done and I’m looking forward not backwards. I’ve tried before to do an honest diary but kept going back. Today I sit here in debt having cleared a load a couple of years ago. I’m ashamed angry upset tired but I know I have to look ahead. By the time I become debt free I’ll be nearer 50 than 40, that reality is sobering. Like all recovering gamblers we know that the amount is irrelevant and despite what I have written I am also feeling good of my 44 days. No thoughts of gambling and handing over my finances to my wife who once again is supportive. Wishing everyone else health and happiness in your own recoveries.
Hi
You have lived 44 days without a bet good for you.
Those clean days can not be lost, and those days were with out you causing your self pains.
I made up myy mind to view covid as a test, that by wearing a mask was not fear based, it was self respect and self preservation, that I am caring for myself.
I have lost count of the number of time I went back to gambling.
Each time I went back to gambling was a lesson for me to learn from, what were my emotional triggers.
Learn from the past pains, not live in them.
While feel ashamed you are reliving the pains of the past.
You are just emotionally vulnerable heal the pains and move on with your life.
If you have reached 44 days without a bet then you know you can more than that.
Being angry is due to pains not healed, fear not faced, frsutrations we due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.
I got tired of hurting myself.
Handing over my finances to my wife was a very healthy maure thing to do.
I could not trust myself with having access to money.
Love and peace to every one
Dave L
AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK
Well done, that’s incredible!! Stick at it, you’re doing great.
Dave haystack I appreciate you taking the time to post, today has been a tough one at work and I’m tired but other than that I’m happy and in a good place.
Well it’s 69 days today and feeling really good about that. Making plans for holidays and the year ahead and watching sport is so much easier now not thinking about gambling. Hope everyone is doing ok
Hi
Good for you 69 days today gambling free.
It is nice to feel really good about your self.
Making plans for holidays and this can be both a need to do thing but also a want thing.
The thing is you have healthier choices in your life today.
I choose to not go gambling as it is unhealthy for me.
Hope everyone is doing ok, caring more about your self and others is very healthy well done.
Love and peace to every one
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
Thanks Dave
Day 80 today, life is good
I have debt and it will take a long time to clear but it’s there as a reminder I suppose
hope everyone is ok on their own journey
Day 93 and can’t complain have I had the odd feeling of gambling? Yes I have but I rarely have them now. One week to 100 days which would be nice but one day at a time. I hope everyone is doing ok in their own journey whether day 1 or further. It’s not easy we really have to focus on taking each day as it comes.
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