If anyone stumbles across this, please get involved:
The subject of addiction is, of course, gambling:
The answers given can be as small as possible and are probably hidden at some depth, I.e not all are the obvious answers,
There are four questions:
1) what are the benefits of continuing with the addiction?
2) what are the cons of continuing with the addiction?
3) what are the benefits of stopping the addiction?
4) what are the cons of stopping the addiction?
I'll be looking to add my own thoughts as and when I have them, it's what I plan to discuss with my counsellor at our next meeting, any ideas/thoughts you have of your own may just help provoke my thought process, so I really would b grateful for helpful comments.
That said, if you don't like or agree with this approach then please don't post, just move on and concentrate on your own 'recovery'
It's for this reason I'm posting in my own diary and not creating a new thread.
Thanks for your time,
Dan
P.s. Russ, many thanks for your previous entry, I tried telling the wife that I'd finally four someone that agreed with me, she just laughed and said I must have two accounts! :). (only messing!)
1) escapism
2) no 'control' over finances
3) no more lies or deceipt
4) a 'void' in my life
1) what are the benefits of continuing with the addiction?
Freedom from boredom
2) what are the cons of continuing with the addiction?
My life doesn't feel like my own.
3) what are the benefits of stopping the addiction?
A more honest and stress free life.
4) what are the cons of stopping the addiction?
A feeling of failure...something I can't do 'normally'.
4) can't join in with friendly poker games with my friends, a night I used to love and have no problem with. For me tho it has to be complete abstinence.
Hi Dan.
Cheers for the continued support which is most appreciated. Great to see you still going strong in 2011!
In answer to your questions......
1) what are the benefits of continuing with the addiction?
The occasional high experienced when picking out and cheering home a winner, the chance to turn a small wad of money into a thick wad of money.
2) what are the cons of continuing with the addiction?
The crippling lows experienced when backing loser after loser, turning a small wad of money into nothing or a large wad of money into nothing. The headaches, the stomach cramps, the poor diet, the lowering self-esteem, behaving like a selfish c**t, the sheer insanity of it all.
3) what are the benefits of stopping the addiction?
I get to be me again and that can only be good for me, my wife, my family and my friends
4) what are the cons of stopping the addiction?
There are none.
Great questions Dan.
Thanks changed, good to see you dropping by, and curly, likewise I appreciate your ongoing support.
1) the selfishness of doing my own thing.
2) the feeling of empowerment at choosing not to gamble
3) seeing my wife lead the life she wants and deserves
4) a permanent weakness in my character that means I cant remain in conscious control of my own actions, when gambling
happiness is a choice.
3) i choose to be happy
Here are my answers to your thought-provoking questions:
1) what are the benefits of continuing with the addiction?
I really do not want to think of a single benefit as in the long term, there are absolutely NONE.
2) what are the cons of continuing with the addiction?
Easiest question of the century! Debts, lack of social life, throwing away hard earned money, depression, stress, suicidal, lies, being hypnotised by flashing lights, loneliness, letting down family, letting yourself down, need I go on?
3) what are the benefits of stopping the addiction?
Being able to be the real yourself.
4) what are the cons of stopping the addiction?
The need to find something else to occupy your spare time.
Have a great gamble-free day.
GT
Gt,
thanks for your post,
I can claim no credit for the questions, there were asked of me by my counsellor.
My intial response was exactly the same as yours, well there are no benefits to continuing and there are no cons to stopping
however the counsellor encouraged me to think a bit deeper, which is how I started to come up with some answers, if you do read this post then please dont think I'm asking you to think about things if you dont want to, I just wanted to explain why I posed those questions on here.
my main reason was escapism, which is a total backward thought as I wanted to escape from all my 'problems' by gambling, which was the root cause of all my problems anyhow
I'm not really a deep thinker myself but more of a reader of what other people think.
Which is why I will be following other people's answers on your thread carefully.
Like you, I used to escape from all of my problems by throwing money away but I have managed to deal with problems since then in the right way.
As long as I keep on doing this, then I am happy with my responses. Having said this, I would still urge everyone to consider what you said in your last post as it really is thought provoking.
Thanks for your response.
GT
1) the submission to something else, a total lack of care or responsibility for anything else
1) the game (in my worst form, roulette)
as also suggested by my counsellor I asked my wife to give her answers to the same four questions, from her perspective, the are her answers, in her language:
1) NONE
2) More lies, deception, makes me think you are weak, shows a lack of control (opposite of me), against what I believe morally
3) pay off debts, start saving like we should, will be able to afford 'normal' things, save to get your dental work finished, you could start sharing bills with me instead of me paying for everything
4) no chance of me being a millionaire!
OK, how about this.
1) In the short term, an escape from boredom.
1) In the short term, the rare possibility of gaining a short windfall which you will have for a very short amount of time.
GT
1) what are the benefits of continuing with the addiction?..
I find there is a euphoric feeling of anticipating being in action and supposedly winning money for doing very little. A brief but intense high when get jackpot(s).
... One can continue to belief that further gambling could somehow solve ones financial and other life problems.
.... Not having to enagage with real life and real feelings... escapism
2) what are the cons of continuing with the addiction?
... not having enough money to live on. Potentially not being able to pay rent/bills or even buy food.
... not be able to socialise because have no money and not wanting to socialise because of generally feeling cr** about self.. become progressively more withdrawn from friends and loved ones. Become ever more insular and lonely.
... intense and very scary feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness leading on to suicidal thoughts and feelings
3) what are the benefits of stopping the addiction?
... I have more money!
... I am able to pay the rent and the bills.
.... I can afford to socialise. I actually want to socialise
.... there is a slow but noticable inprovement in my self-esteem. I become less insular.
... emotional health stabilises... no more suicidal feelings.
4) what are the cons of stopping the addiction?
.... finding other ways to cope with and deal with life and lifes problems.
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