i absolutely love..... ....not gambling

Hi Dan.

Inspirational journey you are on here. I know exactly what you mean about not being able to believe the position you have got yourself into. As time passes though i think we manage to break the habit and only then can we reflect with a clear head on what fools we have been. I still get the gambling devil on my shoulder giving me a nudge from time to time but i think even he knows that i am too far gone for him to lure me back now. Same for you i expect.

Roll on that one year and then renew your targets. I've total faith in you Dan.

thanks curly....

about 6 weeks to go and then it will have been a year without gambling, feeling under so much pressure and stress at the moment but even when the constant adverts try and persuade me to gamble I just remember the endless despair i used to feel whilst gambling, the endless loop of destruction as I waiting up for pay to hit my account on payday, most of it gone by the time I should have been waking up

I feel really fortunate to have broken the cycle, I needed help to do so but I have been and remain so determined to never go back, I can hand on heart say that I havent gambled since december 2010 bar one indescretion, when I put a pound in a charity raffle at my local sports club, I did so without thinking and felt so guilty I gave one of the younger players my ticket and said I had to go, so hopefully that makes it a charitable donation rather than a gamble.

that said I realise I have massively restricted my life in that social sense - I am involved a lot with sport and the two have a lot of overlaps but I dont mind that I much prefer being in control

also wanted to vent my angerr at one of the latest tv adverts, shows a male playing his laptop in about thirty places - why do people not realise, therein lies a major problem, gambling is just so accessable - you could be gambling £200 every thirty seconds, whilst getting a bus to work.

roll on the day we get a senior politician that has/is addicted to gambling, maybe then the industry could be investigated

Hi Dan

Only been on here once or twice and that was only because it was get help or end it all.

I don't know y I came on today? but I'm glad I did I don't want to talk about my gambling as it's over now & I have to believe that and it's not any different than anybody else's stories & it makes me incredibly sad when I do go over it. The reason I felt the need to post is I have read all your comments and I just want to say what a kind, caring, positive and supportive person you are and would like you to know that. I am so glad that you are blessed with such a wonderful family and may your strength and compassion see you through on the hard road that so many of us are on.

I guess this message looks weird and almost stalkerish lol but I'm not weird or religious 🙂

guess that I should explain a little :0), the reason I have felt the need to write is because, your messages have mostly been for Andrew and like Andrew I have chosen to live with my secret alone, unlike Andrew I don't think my husband would leave, I just couldn't bear to see the hurt and disappointment in his face and for any of my family to find out, so I believe going it alone is my punishment and whilst I can still pay the debts it will always be, I am at peace with that although I am depressed, get panic attacks and am an imsomniac but all this is more welcome than the hurt and worry that it would cause my husband. realistically I think he knows , because of my moods, but day by day I'll get nearer to a better me, because of the hard road I'm on. Sorry I'm waffling on which I said I wouldn't do and the reason I'm on here is to tell you despite your failings, I can see all the qualities I have mentioned above from just reading your posts and felt them relative to me also, so your kindness & support reaches others and sincerely wish you a lot of fortune of the right kind. 🙂

your recovery has nt gone unnoticed Dan. A really impressive diary since day 1 all them months ago and i look forward to sharing your milestone in a few weeks.Dont know about you but when reading diaries for the 1st few posts you can often tell who is determined and who is not to kick this addiction and yours i have had no doubts since your initial posts. Well done Keep it going mate we can do this 🙂 best wishes w.P 🙂

winning post and hopefully, thank you both very much for your very kind and encouraging words, I'd had a shocker of a day/week workwise and came on here last night for a bit of distraction, so it was fantastic to pick up your messages, both appreciated

still no gambling....whoop whoop.........

I agree with you Dan with regards to someone who is very famous opening up to a huge gambling problem. This, I'm sure, will open up a huge can of worms.

That day will come, I hope.

Until then, all we can do is to keep making those right choices and NOT gamble!

GT

thanks ade, and I mean that more as I find posts that actually explore gambling very useful, such as your questions, anyone else reading this, I'd encourage you to stop by Ade's diary,

GT - I saw the footballer Chopra talking about his addiction the other day, shame he isn't a bit more famous!

I noted the part when he mentioned playing a game of football and once it was over all he was worried about was checking his phone to see if his bet had come in. I remember doing similar, having placed bets on greyhounds or horses when you don't even watch the race! - I mean seriously, that's got to be a sure sign of an addicted gambler hasn't it!

roll on one year......only a month to go....actually will buy a beer tomorrow and not drink it until then

cheers all

dan

Hi Dan

Keep going, nearly 1 year, my year is 28th DEC, I think you are just ahead off me and curly. I would love it if all 3 of us can get past the 1 year mark.

What will our target be then?

Shaun

Hi shauun.... I am heading for two deadlines close together, one year and one calender year, then I am looking at a five year target, although I will be diarying each six month checkpoint.... I have been trying to mentally prepare myself for as long a deadline as possible, I have a horrible fear of reaching a year and losing one of my biggest barriers.

What do you reckon yourself, is five years too long a target?

I have been on here numerous times Dan, at the minute I am not gambling as hubby as put betfilter on main frame and lap top, but it doesn't stop the craving to gamble, through internet bingo and slots I have now got us into about 55k of debt, which sounds ridiculous but it has happened i have the best hubby in the world and he is trying to help me, I have promised to stop gambling altogether, but find it very very hard, but I can't use comps for betting sites which is cr** but the best thing that has happened to me, but putting in card numbers somehow didn't feel as if it were money to me, and have ended up almost going into voluntary liquidation, but we have negotiated all the debt and payments for them, but it still feels like it was someone else that has done this, but then I am looking to see if ther is anyway I can get on line to play the slots, as I am sure i am going to winnnnn I wish, gl to you hope everything turns out well, golden oldie x

everybody is different in recovery Dan but i think 5 years is putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Take each day as it comes mate as no two days are the same in my opinion. As you know im approaching the 2 year Mark and although gambling thoughts are always luring in the background it does get easier. Hope that makes sense and as stated before look forward to sharing your milestone. Best wishes w.P 🙂

Hi wp,

thanks for that, I think you're probably right in putting pressure on myself if I go straight from one year to five but I am not sure if two years 'excites' me enough, I've really needed the one year target to help me through some of those gambling thoughts, albeit those thoughts are a lot fewer now compared to a year ago.

So I think I will have to break it up some more, two calender years gamble free, with a treat at the end but I will also start a £5 a month direct debit for my five year target, I'll start by putting £60 in there now and then by the time I get to five years I should have £300 to go and blow on whatever I want - not loads but just the principle

Having said all that the gambling thoughts I have had this week have been quite disturbing, I caught myself wondering if I put a bet on now, would I feel sick or what I get a massive buzz, I'm determined not to do it and I guess its another sign of just how addicted I am, that my brain can still try and find ways to help me justify gambling, still It's my brain and its my choice, I choose to not gamble

take care all

Hi Dan.

Well done on your continued recovery. I'm of a similar mindset to you at the moment. I'm wondering what next after hitting the initial 12 month target?? I don't mind admitting that i am scared that without something to hold on to i might take a crashing fall.

However i look at my old friends such as wp, Jeff, Russ and Seano and i see that we just need to keep doing whatever it is that we are doing. I'm going to resolve never to give up giving up and just keep taking it one day at a time.

You are not alone in getting those gambling thoughts. However it only ever takes reading a few of the new posts on here to realise that it's a world of pain to which we should never return.

I'm looking forward to raising a glass to you in a few weeks!

Curly,

thanks for that, means a lot to me.

A bit like right back to a year ago when It was great to know I wasn't the only one (although I guess the world would be a better place if I was the only addicted gambler!)

dan

I can't even think whose diary I was reading earier but something made me think about chopra, the footballer who has lost a far greater sum of money than I will ever own, so I searched for 'big gambling losses' and came across a story about terrance watanabe, whois currently going through the courts after losing around $127m

Which just confirms what a mugs game this gambling lark really is, I have found the 'I can't win because I can't stop' phrase really useful to hold onto over the last 11 months but this is just another thought about why not to gamble.

Most people on this site are addicted already, most people on here will never earn $127m - even with a good exchange rate!

Q. So, once addicted, exactly how much do you need to be a successful gambler?

A. It doesn't matter, cos we'd only lose the lot anyway!

P.s. thanks Ade.... 🙂