I can do this

excellent news ! xo

Hope all well?

Hope all well?

Hi,

247 days since my last gamble!! Who knew I could say off the bingo and slots this long! Work had taken over my life at the mo..just 2 more weeks until I finish for 2 weeks ...I can not wait! I have been so so so stress with everything...worried that I am not doing enough worried that I am missing something worries that i am letting people down!! All reasons to gamble... All reasons to give up.. All reasons to stop caring about my future!!

For the first time I have some real savings ....for the first time I haven't let myself down....and for the first time I really care what will happen in the future xx

It is so hard not to log on, it is so hard not to spent .,.just a tenner! It is so hard not to use gambling as an excuse to relax xx

Hi Jane

Wery well done on your ongoing journey! Really great to see you marching on and winning by abstaining!
Recovery brings so many positives our way, it's jaw dropping isn't it 😉 keep taking and enjoying..
You are right "excuses" are not worth ruining your hard work and hurting yourself again...and that's exactly what they are, annoying thoughts waiting for that weak moment.

Stay safe, keep winning!.. never give up and keep claiming your life back!

S x

Day 264 xx

Hi, sorry I don't get much chance to post....today is day 300!

over the last 300 days there have been so many times when I could of gambled and there still are.

hopefully I will make the 1 year mark xxx

Hi stranger :))

No need to apologise, this is your own journey, and WOW with 300 days today of hard work, just one thing to say,

VERY WELL DONE YOU.

Suzanne xx

Well today is day 343!

There have been and still are so many days I could just play a tenner! 22 more days until 1 year!

I think less about what I could do with the winnings and more I think about about I can do with my non winnings!

I feel like a winner most days - my jobs is still as stressful as ever; I am still 'just' covering for my manager!

Sorry I am not very attentive to this blog as I should be xxx

WHOOP WHOOP!!!!!!
Keep them coming girl and keep striving forwards in your life. Challenges only makes us stronger ☺

Be proud, keep choosing life..it's priceless

S x

Well diary I am sad to say I am back! I have really let myself down :o(

I haven't gambled for the last 12 days - I have been on this site reading and rereading everyone's diaries which has helped me loads...the anxiety I feel every day is beginning to feel slightly less I am sleeping which I am not entirely sure is a good thing if I am being honest.

I will be back tomorrow

Hello Diary,

I am so angry with myself that I am back to square 1!

I don't understand why I couldn't just keep away from them....

Hello Jane,

We are addicts for life and that's not gonna change. I gambled twice in last year and both times were horrible experience. Why we do it? There are many different reasons to such behaviour. I am pretty sure you know yours...either way it's not going back to square one! You went much further to go back in such place.

What can you do now? Maybe leave the past behind and move forwards?
Do you have anyone to talk to who knows you have a problem? Maybe another addict who understands? I find that talking is really helpful, it's not solving the issue or healing us but it gives us more options to deal with our feelings. Have you tried counselling? GC offers free sessions ☺. Maybe you could find more answers then.
Keep yourself busy. Even walks in fresh air can calm that racing mind down...but most importantly now & forever - be kind to yourself ☺..it starts from within

Stay safe..your future is in your hands & you deserve a good and peaceful times ahead. Gift yourself freedom...just for today ☺

B&S x

Thank you H S for commenting in my dairy - it's greatly appreciated.

Today is day 16! Well done me :o)

I have tried the Chat room this evening - appeared to be a little bit confusing too many conversations going on at the same time - I will give it another go another time.

The feelings of guilt and anxiety are still there...I am not so sure that ever goes away! I haven't had the guts to reread my diary yet but I will just not yet. I haven't got anyone to talk to directly about my problem I am scared that an admission will break my relationship - I can't face telling him at the moment...I have let him and myself down.

I think I need to write to you everyday diary as it feels good to get things off my chest.

hi jane, you are suffering, i am suffering, this is a terrible addication that bites you when you least expect it too. I could relay my story to you, but it is an all too familar story, started won, lost stopped, started won, lost stopped and so. I have tried on many occasions to stop many, nearly bankrupted myself, got that myself out of that hole with a big win and gave nearly all the big win back. I have decided to stop because i can't go back to that feeling of having zilch, someone looked down on me and gave me a second chance, I am taking half of it, I am never going to gamble again and go back to that dark place of nov 2016. my life was virtually over, I am telling you this because i dont want you to go there, nothing no money except debt. Quit now, talk to someone it does help, go on the forum here, its better than being on ... casino for example. Come back to me, converse it helps. Good night