I cannot win because I cannot stop

Hey Stu

Glad to read you are now in double figures an steadily clocking up the days. Pay day was always a huge trigger for me! These days, its great getting paid, paying all my bills, buying food and drink and some left over to treat myself and the most satisfying thing - no knotted up, churned up stomach due to gambling all my hard earned dosh!! You will get the same rewards the longer you abstain Stu.

Take care and keep in touch.

Feb.

Hi stu,well done on 13 days! Keeping busy really helps mate.Stay strong and stay focused.you can do it!

Hi Stu

Keep strong when I gave up for over a year the key for me was to accept that what monies were gone and nothing will make them come back.

We need to admit we are compulsive gamblers and have a problem and we will never win, how many people do I know that play FOBT's and win, win, win - the answer is NONE. As long as we remember the above and more importantly support one another on this board then gambling don't stand a chance.

Shaun

Hi Stu,

well done mate the 2 week mark is knocking on the door, open up for it and keep it going.

Great job 🙂

Wolfgang

Hey Stu

Not seen you posting the last couple of weeks. Hope all ok with yiu? Keep in touch.

Your friend Feb.

DAY 1

so I am back.... crushed again. I have spent so much money in the last few days. I don't know what the future holds, I've let so many people down. Feel absolutely worthless and ashamed. I hate the way that gambling makes me feel. Is it all worth it for the rush of winning? No it is not, but I feel trapped. I feel that I cannot live without it.

Reading some inspirational diaries on here thinking why can't I do this, why can't I conquer this.

Ok- my options are clear, carry on gambling, carry on losing, carry on down the destruction road- or stop and get my life back one day at a time.

I don't know what I am going to do about all this money that has gone. But I am chasing losses at the moment and fed up of seeing a bank statement full of gambling transactions.

blocks are on. beginning to rebuild life. I hope I can repair what I have damaged.

Stux

Stu

fella the only person who can stop the destruction is you my friend.

Interesting when you write you 'hope' you can sort out the financial mess,I can guarantee this gambling further will not sort out the mess,it will without doubt in my mind just add to the debt.

that mantra

I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP

never truer when chasing.

I hope those blocks are in place,they will help to gift you space,time to think,have you considered phoning the gamcare counselling line,it may help you to deal with the why's.

You are not alone fella,I have like many others walked in your shoes.

Only you can decide what is worth it.

your gambling side of the brain will be whispering sweet nothings in your ear about how much you enjoy it,how you will win at some point you deserve it!!

That is boll##ocks fella,gambling will take all you have to give and more.

I look forward to again walking by your side,to learn further why abstinence makes us winners.

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hey Stu

Have been quite worried about what you may have been up to from your absence on this site.

The first sentence in your last post says it all "I have spent so much money". This tells me (and yourself no doubt), that gambling again and not making use of this site has resulted in the same outcome.

As Duncs says, we have all been there when we think we can truly make some quick money to sort our problems but we know that is not the case.

I do feel that you would benefit greatly from speaking to gamcare/attendin GA maybe?

Do you really want to quit gambling Stu? If so, it is so possible and rewarding to do.

It seems like you would also greatly benefit from the support from this site but you really need to be committed to it to help both yourself and others.

As ever, I am here to support you, if you want to aim for what you did last year, which was to go 100+ days. That is some achievement. Never forget that.

Please use this site and you will get the support you need. Also, make sure those blocks are properly in place in order that you can no longer access any form of gambling no matter what.

Take care, make the changes you are capable of making and receive all the support possible. Will keep you in my prayers as ever.

Your friend Feb.x

DAY 2

thanks Duncs and Feb.

Feb- you ask me do I really want to quit. I do but it is like the addiction is squashing everything at the moment and I can't imagine life without gambling. I am talking on line to some of the GamCare advisors which is helping and all I can do is take each day at a time. Just for today I will not gamble.

So overwhelmed yesterday about all the money wasted and the feelings of stupidness and shame that gambling has given me! I cannot change the past as much as I want to, but I can make the decision not to gamble today and not to flush any money down the toilet through gambling today. I will not gamble today. I cannot win because I cannot stop.

I will try to make amends for my actions which have caused hurt to others. I will try through acts of kindness and goodness to mend what I broke through my selfishness.

Stux