I have to stop this!!

This weekend has been a strange one, sort of on holiday but might need to go back to work, so I had a game of golf yesterday and a couple of beers! All good this morning I couldn’t be arsed to get up watched box set in bed - then this pm been for a run to try and get some endorphins moving! I then went for a drive no idea where to or what for but was quiet and it is better than going for a crafty tenner! All good and relaxed for next week

matt692

Today I am struggling- distracted at work and been for a walk and found myself wandering towards old haunts! Good job for barriers I think I would be having a go! Need to refocus and read my book this evening to confirm as a non gambler! 

Matt692

It’s been a strange week, Monday struggled and without barriers may have gambled, the rest of week I have been very productive and started to eat into backlog! Also not much gambling thoughts! Great decision Monday and stress passes with time 

here’s to a gf weekend

matt692

Today I have just signed in gf week in 2019 challenge ? a good feeling! I have golf today and also have some to do work, and not been for a run so should be busy busy!

have a gf day

matt692 

Day 63 “2 months” from a day when I wasted money and time which is the most precious commodity. I have been on a weekend away, booked a weekend, and also committed to other events! None fill me with dread! Previously I wouldn’t commit as I would be guessing “can’t afford” 

heres to another day gf!

matt692

You sound very much like me.

Accept this is for life Matt , be patient and accept it will take time to clear the debt but above all dont ever gamble, it will always tempt you for the rest of your life imho, however keep the blocks in place as its saved me on 2-3 occasions already.

Stress is your trigger just like me, I've accepted the debt, but unexpected bills etc send me into panic mode.

Keep going, every day is a battle.

Thanks holly agreed it will take time, and I am looking long term!!

this week I have been on a residential course for a few days with a room of colleagues and on way home past the motorway services a few old feelings crept in! Wasted hours in the slots! Went straight to loo! Walked past but did have to pause and think so it’s all there!! If allowed, home now very quiet and I’m a little down! But no gamble damage, but makes me think about losses of relationships due to gambling! ? another day gf 

Today is Friday 13th !!! I remember thinking not going to win today and blame it when everything came second / next door numbers came on wheel! What tosh!!

this Friday 13 will be a nightmare as I have a work load as long as arm! But up early off to attack!

stay gf

matt692

Fri 13th - paid for a couple of treats today! No quarms no issues cash out! Been at the todo list and mostly positive and a good few hr over w/e will sort.

no gamble thoughts all good

stay gf as another week done

matt692

Hi a strange weekend great day sat and enjoy company which led to a few (too many) beers and Sunday was a veg day, feeling sad for myself and not doing anything when I had a list of todo as long as arm! 

Today up s 6 and quite productive if not a little frustrating!

a bit more to do! Also I ordered a treat for a few £’s that I can’t really afford but I deserve it for my days gf! 

Matt692

Today has been a good day, I cleared a few to do’s however this evening I am feeling jumpy! I can feel the urge to gamble I am alone and feel alone at moment and mind telling me it is company / pass time to pop out! 

Not happening but I’m not resting so I have read a few introduction posts on forum!

staying gf!

matt692 

Hi as usual today a better day- up early and sorted some work out for a bit of golf and a good afternoon/ evening working  no gambling and a day nearer solvency lol ? 

having a cider and watching tv content but a little lonely ☹️ 

at least I can plan a little now!

Matt692