Hi. I’ve got so much to be happy about but gambling ruins everything. It’s ruined 25 years of my life now, give or take the odd spell where I’ve managed to stamp it out. That’s 60% of my life. What a waste. Right now at this moment in time, i’m so weak willed that i’ll bet on anything. Any sport. Real or virtual. I don’t even kid myself anymore that I can win. It’s just a wasteful habit. Almost like I’m punishing myself for something, but for what I’m not sure. Maybe I’m deranged?
I’ve got to stop now though. It’s getting to the point where I’m going to start gambling my way into debt, something thankfully I’ve managed to avoid for the last ten years or so. Those close to me do not deserve to suffer due to my habit.
Truth be told the only thing that has ever worked for me is keeping a diary on here and committing to it.
Thank!
Good luck pal, stop gambling and put all blocks in place for online it’s the only way, exclude for maximum , if you don’t you aren’t committed enough.
Hi Michaleben123,
Thank you for sharing your journey thus far. It's certainly one that nearly all of us can relate to. Being compulsive gamblers does that to us, it consumes us into making irrational decisions and makes us feel weak and powerless to this poison. I myself would bet on anything, if it had a market, I'd be on.
As holycrosser mentioned, baby steps, put the necessary blockers in place through online software and self exclusion from local bookmakers and casinos. I find it also helps opening up to those close to you. It will take the weight off your shoulders and as they love you dearly, they'll step in and support. I find handing over finances was something that helped in the realy stages of recovery, it took the unneeded pressures away and allowed me to concentrate solely on the recovery.
It seems you've realised that this is the turning point to change which is a good start. You're very lucky it's been controlled to a point of not racking up numerous amounts of debt. Please take this as a life lesson (yes an expensive one), as the damage will only get worse and worse if you continue.
Have you tried attending your local GA session? For me I found it so useful talking to people face to face without judgement who were going through the same as me. You'll pick up little tips and tricks and coping mechanisms that can only benefit your recovery.
Finally, you mention gambling has ruined 60% of your life. That time has gone but with hard work and determination, that percentile will only ever get smaller and your account funds and quality of life will only ever go up. Stay strong and take it one day at a time.
I look forward to tracking your recovery. All the best.
Andy (Compulsive gambler 243 days GF)
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