I'm coming out of my cage.......

Morning everyone!

Dear Diary,

10 weeks ago today I walked into a bookmakers and over the course of the day lost close to £1000. That followed a loss the day before and a loss the night before that........they were the last losses I will ever endure as a gambler.

70 days on and my life has changed completely. OK, so certain things remain - but these are things that always added value and I lost sight of in life. I wake each morning now and give thanks for them - the big and the small.

I hadn't lost financially. In my mind I had lost all the things in life that truly meant something to me........except I hadn't in reality. They had lost me.........to elements of illness that saw me seek comfort in a destructive behaviour.

With the correct foundations in place now, the illness controlled, the mindset shifting, with new and amazing people to lean on and the hope of a future..........the finances are going to be sorted in a few months time and large levels of confidence here that 10 weeks will become 20, will become 26, then 52.........and with that, in 42 weeks time I will have a 1 year free of gambling party!

I am Mr Brightside, I am out of my cage and I ain't ever going back.....I'm doing just fine.

Morning Mr B,

Congrats on hitting 70 m8, feels good eh?? Sun is shining inside and out pal enjoy it.

Del 🙂

congrats on day 70 mr b! thanks again for all your support! x

Linda

Congratulations Mr B on day 70 and week 10, commiserations on L437 x

Mr Brightside

Congratulations on those 70 days. My hat... is off to you Sir.

Thank you so much for those kind and beautiful words. That has meant a lot to me. Truly it has .

My aim when I came back here was to try and help just one person, in even the tiniest way, to stop gambling.

If anything I have said has helped you then I am truly honoured and you are most welcome.

FYI the short story starts on page 7 of my diary entitled 'my new diary by kyle the CG' its from 2011 but that was a repost from my diary in 2008 when i wrote it on here as part of my therapy. I wrote one chapter a night and uploaded each chapter as I did it. It really helped me. Its full of grammar and spelling errors and a couple of bits that actually dont make sense any more lol... but I never edited it because I wanted to remind myself how RAW it was when I wrote it. I will bump it up to the top so u can find it easier.

Thank you again and all the best my friend. I will be checking in on you soon.

Kyle

Hi mr b congrats on gamble free days. Thanks for dropping by my diary and for advice. My family live over 400 miles away so for them to manage finances is difficult. Still going into bank with passport and driving license . Soldiering on hope the craic is good with you hitthefanx

Hello mate

Im thrilled you enjoyed my short story. It was great therapy for me to write it. Its amazing how vividly i remember that day. Its of course flowered up a bit with poetic license but i did want to make it entertaining, however, it remains a very true story. Well done on recognising the location. Whats it called.... Cumbernauld lol what a monstrosity of a building. The bookmaker was in the smaller arcade, diagonally across from greggs. you had to go up 6 stairs to go through the door. Im sure you remember.

Excellent driving analody. I like it a lot. Its a long dangerous road, and were in the dark and the fog on our journey. We have just enough light to see our way forward. just a little at a time. a day at a time. but any distractions. looking back in that rearview, looking back into our past. at our loses. and we are straight into a ditch. just keep going, keeping our senses keen and our guard up, until the sun comes out. And when the sun is out it will be so much easier. brilliant.

Well when I came back here I was delighted to find that I had given help and encouragement to a few people in their fight against CG. BUt now I hear I have helped a captain of industry. I am very proud haha. In all seriousness mate, Im very glad I was of help. Feel free to use it in any way you like. It was just something I came up with that fit my situation. Now I see its so adaptable to many situations. A brilliant bit of resourscefulness on your part Sir.

Keep up the great work. Well done on your excellent advice on the forums also.

Your friend Kyle

Evening everyone,

Thanks to everyone for dropping by and leaving kind words of support.

Kyle - not sure about the captain of industry piece!! Lol!! It certainly helped though and I'm sure will be quoted in higher circles in the non-too-distant - my boss thought it was amazing!! Thank you!! It really has had an impact!!

So........dear diary.........

It's been a funny old day today. Work has been tough and has taken up too many hours. A 5am start tomorrow doesn't help either. For some reason I've found myself in a really foul mood........and from where I come from, while it's a bit crass, I can't help but describing how I must have looked to colleagues today as being.........

"Huvvin' a face like a bull lickin' pish affa nettle"

Or for my more Southern recovery friends.....

"My face was like I had eaten a rather sour gooseberry" Lol!!

The positive though is that Day 73 has come and gone without a hitch on the gambling front - a couple of thoughts - especially when watching the footy results coming through tonight. A disappointing outcome to the Forest match, especially after being in the lead and Leicester down to 10 men......but a big game on Saturday to look forward to that could well determine whether automatic promotion is a possibility or if it's going to be another foray into the playoffs. If it's the latter, them at least we've got the most experienced manager in the league to cope with that scenario.

Right, better try and get to sleep for the early rise.

Stay strong everyone!!

Mr Brightside

Huvvin' a face like a bull lickin' pish affa nettle"

Love it m8 lmao

Only a few more days til the weekend so all good!

Take it easy.

Del 🙂

hey mr b

turn that frown upside down otherwise, if the wind changes you'll stay like that!

Congrats on your 73 days xxxxx

linda

Hey Mr B, I hope works better for you today. The days are mounting up, you will be at 100 before you know it!

Shame to see Forest drop another two points. Its almost as if nobody wants second place, still in with a great shout though. Play offs are a bit of a lottery. but theres no better way of doing it than victory at Wembley. In 1991 Tranmere beat Bolton in the play off final and I still remember how good it felt!

I'm waiting on my boss getting back to me regarding time off in March. He is going to confirm it with me when I am back in tomorrow. Will let you know tomorrow.

Keep up the good work mate.

Hi mate two things I want to say firstly congratulations on turning your life around I know how hard it is but I'm really chuffed for you secondly your message on my diary was one of the nicest things I've read in a while made me emotional in fact thank you very much we will continue our journey to a better life together.

Thanks again

The bear

Hi mate two things I want to say firstly congratulations on turning your life around I know how hard it is but I'm really chuffed for you secondly your message on my diary was one of the nicest things I've read in a while made me emotional in fact thank you very much we will continue our journey to a better life together.

Thanks again

The bear

Well it's Saturday - woop woop!!!

It's always a real blessing to come on to your own diary and find posts from usual suspects, and unusual ones too.......you can't help feel a sense of belonging and that people to the far flung corners of the UK care. Linda said on her diary yesterday that it restores faith in the human race.......she's so right. Despite all the issues, debt, separation.....day to day fighting of urges.......I am blessed. Maybe I just couldn't see that.

So today is day 76 and I will not gamble. The volume in my life music is easily drowning out my gambling music so I'm not hearing it!!

So today looks like this........snuggle the wee one lying next to me (she's got a temperature and isn't right), up, dressed, drive, Costa at Southwaite (thanks wee mum!), drive, park, footy (yoooou Reds!!), eat, drive, Costa at Southwaite 🙂 ), drive, undress, f**t (I love the fact we can be honest - lol!!), sleep!! No gambling!!

Have a great day everyone,

Mr Brightside

Have a great day Mr B!

xx