hello,
not sure what I'm expecting to get from this but I guess over time I'll realise why I'm posting. I was caught out yesterday, for the 3rd time in 2 years, each time before I was given a chance. First time round my fiancГ©e went as far as to help me take complete control, helped me with a loan, helped me refinance debts and got me to see a councillor. Everything was going great until I decided I didn't need the councillor anymore, for months I was doing great and then I lapsed, I used to have "disposable" money put into an account to last me the month..l nights out, sports etc, after a few month I started to use it for gambling. My fiancГ©e again stood by me, yet less than a year later I've done it again. I don't know why, Ive read some threads and people talk about the high of winning etc, I do t get that, for me it seems once I've lost and then can't account for where the money has gone I panic, how can I get it back, what if someone asks about it, better win it back then. Yesterday it came to a head, with fiancГ©e can't see any future and I can't blame her. I have today decided that I a going to do everything I possibly can to prove to her this isn't the life I want. I've attended an emergency dr appointment, arranged a session with gamcare and will be attending a GA meeting knight. I've been fooling myself for years and more upsetting is I've been fooling everyone around me. My fiancГ©e is my best friend, the love of my life and I can't imagine the future without her. I think my last chance hangs by a thread, if it even exists... It's 5 days since any form of bet, I hope everyday I can add 1 day on and live the rest of my life without this horrible side to me.
You are an important cog in the wheel that's true. Good luck at the meeting tonight. Tell us how it goes?
It's sounds to me like you need to heed the warning. I never did and now I'm in me mums spare room seeing my son every few days. You need to be honest,accept that this is it I'm not going back to gambling.
Great you are sorting counselling and going to start GA break the triangle with the help of you partner.
Take the warnings serious it's not been fun where I am but 9 months on I'm gamble free with the help of here and GA and all the blocks I have put in place.
Stay close to your diary share good and bad be honest and read others a wealth of knowledge and inspiration on this forum.
KTF
Hey buster, I am in same boat as you as regards chasing losses. If my first punt was a loss I'd chase until it was recovered but never stopped as felt I was owed or due a win.
Then the times I did win, no matter what I won was never enough. Then when I lost what I had won I chased that back only to lose lose lose.
I don't have control of my gambling, its like an out of body experience.
I will not gamble because I will never win. That is a commonly used phrase here and so so true.
And kudos for joining up and sharing. Good luckon your journey. I hope you soon realise how much better life is without gambling.
Hi everyone,
It's been 7 days since my first post and in that time I've attended 2 GA meetings and also waiting on a counselling session to be arranged.
It's been a very tough week for me and my partner but I'm pleased that we are tackling this together, she has been amazing given how hurt she feels.
I am 11 days without a bet, I'm tracking every penny spent and I'm taking the time to make sure I'm not putting myself in a position whereby I could/would bet. It's amazing what a week of talking can do... One thing I'm very aware of is complacency, I've been there before, the oh I'm fine I can do it myself, it won't happen again. I am a compulsive gambler and not in control of anything whilst I am gambling. I will not gamble today, 1 day at a time. Thanks to everyone who responded, I'll continue to post my progress.
Good man, you sound just like me so great to read.
The complaceny thing is key. I was 2 years in and slipped up. Keep that always in your mind. Its lifelong I'm afraid.
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