keep on keeping on x

day 14 GF first time i managed 2 weeks in a long time. busy busy weekend having some stuff done to the house buying new things even treated myself on a couple of bits, its funny how you can hesitate on spending £20 on amazon when you would deposit hundreds of pounds in the same night on an online casino without a second thought. i think a bit of retail therapy is good on this journey because it makes you happy and it gives you something to show for your efforts and money that you would have normally wasted.

half day today this would normally lead to a visit to the bookies or an online site but going to read the paper in the back garden and watch a bit of world cup might even go to the outdoor pool.. happy days

keep on keeping on

day 17 its getting easier by the day. thankyou GAMSTOP .had a day off yesterday which would have been a nailed on visit to the bookies but didnt even consider it, went to the outdoor pool got burnt to a crisp instead. my triggers are definitely boredom/ depression during the winter months, maybe ive got that seasonal disorder thing . gamblings definitely a winter sport for me. need to keep this going and have a solid plan in place when winter comes around again. payday today - paid all the usual stuff and cleared the credit card and still have a decent pot for the month with some key things already paid for so its all good.

good luck to all , take the power back and keep on keeping on. x

18 days GF not much to report apart from the fact that today i will not gamble. not being at all complacent but i feel in myself that i got this. It similar to smoking in that when i used to make numerous attempts to stop i always knew deep down that it wasnt going to be successful and the time i did stop i knew i would as it felt different if you know what i mean.

busy weekend , weather is great, world cup is on - its all good. such a long way away from the miserable early part of 2018 when this thing had me in its nasty grip. nothing further to say apart from shake the disease, take the power back and keep on keeping on.

21 days GF . had a great weekend . World Cup, Sunshine and Family and no gambling , doesnt get much better than that . Absolutely no urges either. Spent an absolute fortune as well on house stuff, garden stuff - such a difference , getting rid of your money but having material things to show for it rather than a miserable night on the iphone.

was thinking earlier about an old work colleague i used to go to the bookies with at lunchtime when i first started working, Del Boy from Belfast. He's no longer with us, god rest him. He said to me right at the start that gambling is 'not about winning, its about losing slowly'.

this was a guy who gambled miniscule amounts just for the sport just for the fun. He loved a 25p reverse forecast on 2 dogs.

He wouldnt dream of using a fruit machine or an FOBT if he had been around to see them. Unfortunately some of us arent as lucky as Del Boy and we have a mechanism that doesnt 'lose slowly' , we lose quickly and then need to win quickly which then makes us lose even quicker hence the need to not gamble at all, no matter how small the amounts are.

good luck to all on your individual journeys. keep on keeping on

GF22 just read this weather is in for at least another 2 weeks, happy days. its all about the 3 lions later fingers crossed. should we win it sets up a quarter final on saturday afternoon when it is going to be 28 degrees even up here in the frozen north!! when i look back on where i was in the early part of this year i look back with horror as i dont recognise that person. I have never been one for spending money recklessly on anything but would risk large amounts without a second thought. when i read some of the stories on here i know I have come out of this relatively unscathed compared to some on this forum and i am acutely aware it could easily have gone the other way. I have not had to share it with family/partner , just told one close friend who has been a massive support and financially im not in any debt because of it - althought i would be considerably up on savings if id not wasted so much on online casinos. i see it as some sort of lesson - i will never be able to gamble as i dont have the controls that others do., ultimately i know ive got off lightly, could have been far , far worse. i see it as a 'great escape' from a place i dont want to return to.

take the power back, keep on keeping on and come on england.,

GF23 feels good. today i will not gamble. watching last nights drama unfold in Russia on ITV i was stunned by just how many adverts were on advertising betting sites. it costs a fortune to place a commercial on tv during peak viewing programmes such as the world cup and it just demonstrates how much these firms are creaming off the likes of you and I. Roll on Saturday afternoon, heatwave and world cup quarter final plus i feel happy without the gambling monkey on my back. Good Times.

keep on keeping on.

Well done on your GF days so far. I feel exactly like you, so many Gambling adverts sucking people in. They think it’s ok to just add “when the fun stops, stop” however for compulsive gamblers it’s not as simple as that. Advertisement in gambling should be banned along with sponsorship of football teams. It’s everywheee unfortunatley. Looking forward to Saturday though. Come on England.

cheers G , vulnerable people are being exploited by faceless, shameless greedy corporations based in overseas tax avoidance locations who despite the odd small print and tag line which they have to include - dont give a monkeys about the misery that they are actively encouraging people to put themselves through. like drug dealers at school gates. furthermore, celebrities / former footballers are quite happy to take the money to appear in these ads despite in many cases coming from similar backgrounds to the vulnerable people targetted. My favourite one is Ant and decs saturday night take away slot machine - advertised by one half of the duo who freely admits to having issues with addiction, work that one out.

day 24 for me, all is good, today i will not gamble, training for another marathon in October but bit behind with training due to world cup and stuff being done to the house- ran 10k last night and swam in an empty outdoor pool at 9 oclock at night, doesnt get much better.

peace - depeche mode

I'm leaving bitterness
Behind this time
I'm cleaning out my mind
There is no space
For the regrets
I will remember to forget

I'm leaving anger in the past
With all the shadows
That it cast
There is a radar in my heart
I should have trusted
From the start

cheers G , vulnerable people are being exploited by faceless, shameless greedy corporations based in overseas tax avoidance locations who despite the odd small print and tag line which they have to include - dont give a monkeys about the misery that they are actively encouraging people to put themselves through. like drug dealers at school gates. furthermore, celebrities / former footballers are quite happy to take the money to appear in these ads despite in many cases coming from similar backgrounds to the vulnerable people targetted. My favourite one is Ant and decs saturday night take away slot machine - advertised by one half of the duo who freely admits to having issues with addiction, work that one out.

day 24 for me, all is good, today i will not gamble, training for another marathon in October but bit behind with training due to world cup and stuff being done to the house- ran 10k last night and swam in an empty outdoor pool at 9 oclock at night, doesnt get much better.

peace - depeche mode

I'm leaving bitterness
Behind this time
I'm cleaning out my mind
There is no space
For the regrets
I will remember to forget

I'm leaving anger in the past
With all the shadows
That it cast
There is a radar in my heart
I should have trusted
From the start

stay strong, take the power back and keep on keeping on

day 25 happy friday, was in my local the other day and noticed the fruit machines have now been replaced with what look like the FOBTs - maybe it happened a while ago and ive not noticed. Watched some poor b*****d lumping in tenners like there was no tomorrow, he probably went in expecting to spend a tenner on a couple of pints and a packet of crisps and went home miserable down by 200 quid. i know the fruities were bad enough in themselves but these are another level. you can put all the blocks in place, self exclude, ban yourself from casinos and bookies shops and theres still 1,000's of pubs open 12 hours a day 7 days a week. I dont think the stakes / jackpot is maybe as high on the pub ones compared to the bookies but it amounts to the same thing. im in a good place right now but its another easy relapse opportunity - especially when people have a few drinks and are more prone to risk taking.

anyway 25 days in feels good , sun , football , beer , family ahead for the weekend and no gambling. its all about the three lions. take it easy, keep on keeping on

I couldn’t agree more mate, especially with the pub FOBT’s. It’s everywhere you turn but lucky/unfortunate for me i’ve Already learnt my lesson on fruit machines and would spend a whole evening not even speaking to my mates trying to get the machine to roll. The jackpot was only £25....stupid or what. Well done on your GF days and enjoy the weekend. It sounds very similar to my plans.....Come on England!! It’s coming home.....hopefully.

the UK Gambling Act 2005 expressly prohibits the holding of both gambling and liquor licenses for the same business so you cannot open a bookies in the corner of a pub and take £5 bets on the 3.15 at Wincanton, I remember they used to get round that by having a bookies kiosk in the car park at some pubs but you dont see that so much anymore. So you cant bet on a dog but somehow its ok to have FOBT's for people to ruin their lives with. Work that one out.

28 days in the bag, feeling ok, no urges to do anything stupid but not getting complacent. the gambling monkey isnt on my back any more but he's definitely still in the room. plenty going on, plenty to look forward to world cups, holidays, family time. its amazing how good you feel when you get a few clear weeks behind you, i always gambled cos i needed a buzz and watching the days clock up gives me the biggest buzz of all. Ive taken the power back.

good luck to all, stay strong and keep on keeping on.

29 days GF - 3 heavy old pub nights ahead so plenty of resolve required but the force is strong and i know i'll be strong enough.

looking fwd to the football tomorrow and being 30 days gf,

day 30 GF - decent milestone roll on day 50.

was in the pub last night watching football and i was watching someone playing the fruit machines while his mates drank and had a laugh and watched the football. the world cup semi final was on and this guy barely looked up away from his task which seemed to be to put as many notes as possible in this machine, he even went to the cashpoint in the pub a couple of times (you know the ones that charge you £1.80 for withdrawing). not sure how it ended up for him because i left but i saw so much of myself in that situation - switch off from whats around you in some kind of zone and keep going until its all gone.

in the past i would have waited for him to lose all his money and leave the pub and then jump on that bandit straight away thinking it would pay me what he had just lost. Thats the other thing about being in the grip of gambling - the gambler has zero compassion for his fellow gambler. It was a good test for me and proved ive come a long way - Ive taken the power back - but cant get complacent.

anyway tonight could see history being written for the three lions so fingers crossed,

keep on keeping on