Life or Misery; that's the choice

And yes everyone have a gamble free bank hol

Well done Christer, 5 days is nothing to be sniffed at. Small, manageable goals, get through this weekend and that will be your first week done, the first of many.

Mixer, hope you're ok buddy.

Call me overprotective or whatever you like but after not seeing you on here for a couple of days just wanted to make sure you were doing ok and staying strong.

Sure you've just had a busy bank holiday weekend, hope this finds you well.

Hi Dholla, thank you for your concern - really appreciate it mate! Rest assured, I'm in full control, Another GF day marked off and I intend to be GF tomorrow. Going to work with £3 in my pocket kinda seals it lol!

And I hope that you, likewise, are GF too. To hear that will be music to my ears my friend - please tell me it's so.

And you can rest assured I will update my diary EVERY day from now on. I know you're very active here, too - I will visit you often and it's this "can do" spirit that will help us build up a LOT of days GF ....

Hello, Mixer,

Glad to see you back and but I too would offer the following, intended as food for thought. Take what you will and leave the rest.

If your pattern is binge gambling every few weeks or months, what is going to change this time, in or for you, when the next binge is "due"? You put a lot of energy into keeping everyone else going (which is well received) but what about doing the necessary for you and does your focus on others avoid uncomfortable focus on you? Is it time to do things differently, to stop fixing others (whom you can't control) and to fix you (who you can control)?

There's a phrase about being selfish in recovery, not in a negative way but in terms of making it a priority for the sake of all concerned.

You can't do it alone without real life peer support and FWIW I agree with Louis that the day count is a tool but not a goal in itself. Especially where the problem manifests in binging. Using/ feeding an addiction doesn't happen in contented and well adjusted people, it's a symptom of underlying problems and it makes matters a whole lot worse. Taking away the gambling from problem gambling still leaves the problem and recovery is about addressing and dealing with the problems of living, relationships and life in general.

Finally, there's a lot of focus on the forum about money and debt. But for the reasons stated above, the reality is that the finances don't really matter. The losses from addiction are personal to a far greater extent than they are financial.

Wish you well,

CW

Hello all I've spoke to someone from games top and got this email,
You've put your finger on why we need a system that enables someone to self-exclude from all British-licensed online operators in a single process. We are still pushing to have GAMSTOP in place by the end of the year. The only caveat is that it is largely a technology project and so some unexpected issue could always arise as we go through the development and testing phases, but we do not currently foresee anything that would cause any notable delays.

As we move towards the launch date, and when it is up and running, we will obviously make a push to ensure that those who might benefit from it are aware of its existence. That will include all operators presenting it in the same way and signposting it; outreach to treatment providers such as Gamcare; and hopefully some media coverage.

Thank you for your support, I will add your details to be kept updated regarding the development of the scheme.

Hi Christer - thank you for this update; I'm sure you'll be intrigued as I am as to how this works in practice; a nationwide one-stop self-exclusion scheme. We could always offer to help beta test the scheme, Christer, in case it hits some, what I call, 'inherent complexities'. Really looking forward to further updates.

Cynical Wife - thank you for your post, I certainly take your points on board. It sounds cliched but I really am doing things different last time. Last time I 'lasted' 86 days and drifted back to gambling I thought I could control. Big mistake, obviously, as I semi-blindly ambled into the wrong direction. Something happened in my life (and, of course, things happen in all our lives) and I triggered a gambling path again. So that was last time.

This time I have taken additional steps. Counselling (same as last time) - check. No longer have bank card. Wife has joint account, only she knows pin and my only source of cash - she is very supportive and happy to do this. My mum is fully 'in' on this arrangement. I am never to have my card again - it'll be divorce otherwise (because our lives, thanks to me, will be a misery). I have banned myself from all local bookies (I work locally). I've started a new Challenge, but, to be honest, I am still 'finding my feet' with it and want it to be genuinely useful to people; I find helping others helps me.

When I attended councelling last time, I didn't find any root cause, apart from the fact I lived virtually next door to a string of amusement arcades when I was younger... those childhood tapes probably triggered something (wry smile....)

Also, I'm reading about the subject more. I've just purchased Allen Carr's 'How to stop gambling book' (half price!).

Hopefully these extra measures will really help me this time, over and above - and I see it now - the poorly-executed strategy I put in place last time. But I'm so resolved this time.

Thanks for your comments CW - and I welcome, if you would like to, any comments you have - you speak straight and that is always the very best advice anyone can ever give!

Yes I'd offer to test it

Same here Christer; worth enquiring if they need any beta testers ...? We could help trial the system... and anyone else here who might be interested. (Might need to co-ordinate through Gamcare.)

Very short post ... on Day 20 today!

Payday's here and to celebrate - I have £4 in my pocket today. Every day is a disciplined Gambling Free day. But a happy day - I'm not wasting time, emotion and money.

Gamblign Free - choosing life over misery. We are blessed, in this free country, to have a choice. Choose life!

On day 9 here we'll on a third of what I achieved last time. Hopefully mixer we achieve our 30 this time

Great to hear Christer - excellent. I'm on Day 21; a month between us already 🙂

Congratulations Mixer 21 Days GF .

Respect and appreciate all the help and encouragement you give out , but please take care not to overburden yourself .

Wishing you every success......stephen

Thanks, Abstainer - and noted. I've been winding down my posting quite a bit, and will be aiming for 2-3 posts a day max for the foreseeable. The Rollcall takes me about 10 minutes (all automated on Excel!). Thank you for your continued support and am watching your journey and finding it, along with select other journeys I follow, a real inspiration.

I'm with you all the way mixer . I don't understand something .... all the best buddy ! I'm just hoping that there's more people like you !

Sars