Life With Sports Bets Only

Hi, I've sometimes thought to myself if I could have a genie pop out of a bottle, my 3 wishes would be that smoking was healthy, that I had unlimited funds in the bank and that I would be happy..... and I guess I am thinking that last wish would cover everything else I might need in life or the way I would want the world to turn! BUT... then I remember that wishing for things to happen magically is how I got myself into this mess! (((Captain))) Have a good week!

Today I want to gamble. This is not an urge and I will not act on my feelings. I know to start random gambling now would start me on a path back to destruction.

Having loved gambling for so many years and now having gone 6 months without it I guess there will be days like today when I just long to do it and be involved in the action.

You're gona have days like today captain,keep marching forward and you will feel better for it tomorrow or in the long run.

You're allergic to random gambling,it will only do you harm.

You know that,a random £50 on a horse at portman park is not worth the 20 seconds of pleasure,hope and eventual pain. Keep strong captain

No sign of anything giving me back my spark and my get up and go.

Difficult to keep telling myself that this is life now.

Part of my head says after 6 months away from random gambling I should be able to return to it as a harmless hobby and be able to manage and control it.

Captain46, this is the first time I'm writing in your diary.

There is no such thing as "Responsible Gambling" - this is a false and lie and a deceitful term made by the gambling industry.

Do not fool yourself to believe you can gamble responsibly, you cannot, it's a fact, and it's a fact you lose money. Even if you win you won't stop, the winning memories would haunt you down.

Please read the book Gambling Facts & Fictions by Stephen Katz to educate yourself more about it.

-------------------------------

By the way,

You started this diary in 2010 - why are you still asking yourself if you should gamble? Been 4 years, don't you think it's too much?

Had a dream last night that I was in my local bookies (the one I self-excluded from 18 months ago for 6 months and havent been back to). I had gone in on a Saturday at 1.00 to place my football bet and ended up there until 7.00 and of course lost all my money.

This is not a realistic scenario for a Saturday as I'd always be back home at 3.00 tracking the football scores. However it all seemed so real and gave me real feelings and reminders about how bad it is losing all your money on random gambling.

Also got me thinking as to whether I should go back to the local bookies again or not. They knew me so well for years and if I was only going back for the occasional sports bet now it would seem strange. I also feel I'd need to have answers to questions from olf fellow punters in there who I havent seen for 18 months.

Captain

Fella good to hear you are still turning the cogs of your own recovery wheel, I hope your resolve to continue a life without your own destructive gambling continues to grow.

Regards the re visiting you old 'haunt' I will just say this, those questions would you not just answer them honestly??

Me I find a huge benefit from being honest, I bumped into my old bookies boss recently in the supermarket, said a polite hello and her response ' wow you look well!!'

A response I know comes from the fact she on to many occasions to count saw the results of my own addiction.

That walk of shame that became a part of my routine, or the pacing, turning my back on the machine,covering the screen or any of the other erratic behaviours brought on the results of my ever maddening actions.All of which ensured I looked like a bag of sh#it without the bag!!

I am happy to share my shortfalls with anyone today, for me there is no shame in it.

The shame was for twenty years I hid it.

Again I wish you well in your choosen path

Regards duncan

Thanks for the post Duncan. Unfortunately I do feel some shame that I couldn't manage to control my gambling and have it as a great hobby like many do.

Think I am better staying away from the local bookies as I just know I'd invent some story about my absence when seeing regulars in there.

Better to continue travelling a bit further afield to put my coupons on in shops where I don't know any of the punters.

Thanks for the post captain,hopefully I've cleared up how I'm getting out of debt so quicklky- or not so quickily,it has taken me 10 years!

Everyones circumstances are different,I'm not sure if your debts are secured etc and I don't really want to pry,but if you've got a spare couple of hundered to wager on footy bets each week,surely you could use some of this money to reduce your debts quicker- maybe if poss save up a lump sum a negotiate full and final settlements?

Sorry ,I don't mean to preach,just offering advice.

Sorry captain just read your reply.

Not defaulting probably has cost your more. It is wrong I don't agree with it,bankruptcy is far easier now than when I went through it.

Tho I had a 5 grand loan that turned into 12 grand when I entered my dmp.

Not much you can do when youve got assets and secured loans against them,I was fortunate to have nothing of value at the time.

Have u claimed your ppi back on your current secured loan?

Thanks for the posts Robby.

I do feel a bit hard done by that I am having to pay back everything I gambled when other routes would have saved me money. (Yes I have claimed back PPI).

In order to save money in theory I'd need to default on payments and go down an IVA route or whatever but probably cant do that now as any default would lead to bad credit rating at least and ultimately re-possession etc. Just have to pay everything back and take it on the chin.

re my £200 a week on football and occasional golf, I dont want to not do that. Yes it would clear debts a bit faster but its how I want to spend this money. (And of course sometimes I win and get some back!)

Colleagues spend £200 a week on going for meals / nights out / pub / their kids etc. I dont do any of that, I choose to spend it on football and golf bets and I dont want to change that.

Its much better than up to 6 months ago when each month I paid all my loan and credit card payments then lost £2500 - £3000 each month on random gambling and borrowed to keep me going. Thus my debts didnt reduce for 5 years. I have now broken that cycle and each month my debts reduce based on making the payments as normal but not being out of control on random gambling losing the lot.

Hi Captain, ive been reading through your diary with some interest. I am just intrigued as to how you have coped with keeping your bets to sports betting only. My biggest downfall over the past 10 years has been the FOBTs. I have now not gambled on these since 21st Nov last year, and have also abstained from any other form of gambling since then. On Saturday, i placed a £5 both teams to score bet on the football. I didnt win, but i also didnt feel any of the emotions i used to feel in chasing what i thought i should have won. Something inside my head feels like its changed towards gambling. Dont get me wrong i am still well aware of the destruction it can cause but am hoping i can still have the odd footy bet. I am just intrigued as to how you felt when you made the decision for sports bets only and were FOBTs where you lost most of your money before?

I too have debts, around 15k, but cannot go down the bankruptcy route or IVA due to the lasting credit issues. I am on top of my payments at present. I have a mortgage on my house (with my fiance) and just have to accept it will take me a good few years to pay off what i owe, and like you said take it on the chin. We currently live in a small house but have dreams of moving to a larger one hence the reason i dont want to damage my credit for a long time. I realise i must pay off my debts before this is possible though.

Im not sure this route will work for me but am hoping i can succeed, like yourself, as i do like the occasional footy bet, FOBTs have been my downfall. Only time will tell! Good luck with your journey and i'll keep following with interest.

Thanks for your post captain,your recovery is going how you want it to,and your comfortable in your weekly flutter,good on ya.

Regarding the debt thing,If I was in your shoes I would have probably lost the house by now,not having access to credit the past few years has been a god send.

Keep away from those virtual races and random gambling captain.

I like reading the captains diary but for those like me who read it and think that will be for me I can pick choose what areas of gambling I want. You are playing a dangerous game abstinence works best lucky for captain he has found away that works for him but for many of us this method is dangerous we are gambling our own and our families future. If you can at all please refrain from all forms of gambling. I for along time wanted the captains route but for me this did not work and only brought more misery for everyone close to me. So do be careful and realistic if you are thinking of a gamble whatever form it may take.

Hi Captain,

I think this the first time I've commented on your diary, but I've often had a read. Of all the diaries, yours is certainly one of the more interesting ones as you've taken a different approach to your addiction. I think that should be encouraged rather than scoffed at. Abstinence is not necessarily for everyone. Many drug addicts don't go from being a drug addict to cold turkey the next. They maybe join a methadone programme or cut back their usage.

So far, from what I can see, this approach from yourself has worked. It wouldn't work for many on here, but it has worked for you and that's the most important thing.

Do you find £200-300 a week a little excessive? Or do you think it's worth it because you would end up spending a lot more on "random" gambling if you didn't play with these stakes. I'm interested because for many people, myself included, they need to play at higher stakes than they did before. This is part of their addiction. They up the ante. What started off with £2 bets has slowly but surely escalated to £500 bets for example.

I'm starting to wonder if this approach would benefit me or not. My addiction is slightly different in that I gamble on football and golf online as opposed to in the bookies, so I think it would take a lot of discipline.

Keep up the good work Captain.