Life With Sports Bets Only

Captain

Fella as always very interesting to read your thread, two things stand out for me.

firstly I find it demeaning to your own recovery that your approach is like that of an alcholic or drug user, I feel in both cases it is a niave view with regards to comparing those addictions to yours.

If a person suffers from either addiction whether their recovery route is through the cold turkey method or through a controlled substance replacement programme, there is an end goal is there not.

That the addict will find total absinence from their addiction, I have met many recovering alcholics through during my own recovery and to a man they cannot replace spirits with beer, because their body is dependant on alcohol.

In your case fella you have never professed to wanting to totally abstain from gambling, quite the opposite, you seek to find your own enjoyment through sports betting only, to which is your choice and is something that you seem happy with.

From this my second point is I find reading the posts on your thread it may appear that the agenda is the author wants you to condone their own gambling because it works for you, and I would like to say a thankyou to you for the measure in which you reply to said posts.

We have different paths of recovery, ones which hold a common theme, to arrest the destruction of the gambling which reaked havoc upon our lives.

for you I am glad to read you stopped before you lost your property, myself I know how close I came,I had to go to court and plead the possesion order to be halted, if not I would have lost mine, for the fact we did'nt I will be ever thankfull.

I hope your own recovery path continues to treat you well, sorry for hijacking your thread some what but I do feel my points are wholly relevant.

Regards Duncan.

Thanks Martin and Duncan.

Martin - Duncan is right re recovery routes and comparisons to an addict attempting to go 'cold turkey'. Those comparisons dont apply to me as I have never had the aim. My aim has always been to remove the areas of gambling which caused me a problem and continue gambling on sports with affordable amounts. I have reached that goal since June and hope it can continue.

re me spending £200 a week on football and golf bets, amounts are all relevant to income and prior to June I was losing everything on random gambling each month and my debts hadnt reduced for years. Since June I have continued to make all my monthly payments such that debts reduce but without losing my normal £2500-£3000 over the month (or in a single day) on random gambling, which resulted in borrowing money each month and debts staying the same, but just with the borrowing spread out more.

Martin - as Duncan indicates, I am never looking to encourage someone else to gamble or take a similar route to me, but if it works for them, fine. Main thing for any problem or compulsive gambler is that they eradicate areas which cause problems. I have not gambled online but regardless of online, shops, casinos, telephone etc., for me it is not just about discipline. I have found over a long time in recovery (6 years) that you have to find a way to live without the area of gambling which is problematic. Willpower, self-exclusion, getting someone else to handle money etc are all helpful short term but in the long run you need to be able to train your brain to comfortably say No.

Captain,

Thanks for taking the time to respond here and also posting in my diary. I'm going to listen to your advice and continue to abstain. But, I can't stress enough how much admiration I have for a guy like yourself who has found a different way of dealing with gambling addiction and has the confidence to share this with everyone on here, some of whom will disagree with your methods.

I look forward to reading more entries in your diary and thank you again for giving me very sound advice.

Cutting out all my problem areas of gambling as I have done gradually over a 6 year period means more and more periods of time need to be otherwise occupied.

This continues to be a real challenge. Not just in terms of what to do, but also how to occupy your thoughts. Amazing when I think back the amount of time I spent thinking about gambling, when doing other things. Planning a gamble, worrying about debts, kicking myself for bad decisions and episodes of blowing all my money, continually trying different strategies, during recovery working out how to cut out certain types of bet or how to somehow manage a lunchtime walk without a bet or be able to drive straight home without stopping in at the bookmakers.

So my mind was always occupied. Now the things I do to pass time don't occupy my mind and gambling doesn't either. It's good in one sense to be more at peace and my mind is occupied and focused while at work but I'm not sure whether I need to have it occupied more our of work. Maybe I do or maybe its ok to feel like I do just reflecting on the difference between my years of gambling and now. If I do start to think too much now it's of regrets and bad decisions and wishing I was 20 years younger and that won't help me.

7 months, with only a few urges or inclination to random gamble, cant see me falling off the wagon now, anxious to get to a point where a few more of the smaller debts are gone. To get down to only the 3 or 4 larger debts would be good. Psycologically that will feel better. The monetary amount in total is ridiculous but I'll feel better with less debtors.

Those on here whose lives feel better just because they have quit gambling dont realise how lucky they are. I really didnt appreciate until recently how many on here have gambling as their main or only issue. Throughout my recovery I have continually recognised through counselling and self-analysis that gambling or any other addiction is just a way of escaping and hiding from your real issues. So if you remove the addiction you still have to deal with the real problems. I have certainly not found a way of dealing with that yet. It is surprising to me that so many others on here are not in the same general category and that removal of gambling merely means having to still live with your issues without the drug. Thats where I am.

It is surprising to me that so many others on here are not in the same general category and that removal of gambling merely means having to still live with your issues without the drug.

Captain, I would suggest that many people are in the same category, but either don't recognise it, or are in denial about their real problems. That's my theory anyway.

Afternoon captain.

Another post to get the grey matter turning over, for it i thank you. Yes i do feel fortunate today. Why? Because today abstinence gifts me the ability to face the things life throws my way without the distortion and further destruction gambling ultimately brought. For my entire gambling life gambling became progressively my purpose to life itself, i would spend every minute either actually gambling or formulating the next punt or trying to cover over new losses,to the point where the postman became my nemesis! whatever problems i had in life had been dwarfed by my compulsion, a drive that had me believe that winning would only be found through gambling. That today i can actually see is what that first win did to me, gave me a warped view that gambling would gift it for free, bizarrely that win a 5 pound fruit machine jackpot. From this i often ponder if the fact that between you and i the difference stems from the fact that my gambling started and ended through the medium of a machine and your gambling has if i am correct in saying has never been in that form. In saying this i see this, that in the cold light of abstinence i can see i pitched my dreams on at best a machine that offered a 500 pound jackpot, something quite ridiculous when i figure i waged and lost over 100k in them, so today my dreams are bigger than what is on offer through my chosen form of gambling. Therefore yes life is great because with honesty i took my head out of my backside, i have said many times in my ga room that i am truly the worlds worst gambler! Something today i am proud to share with you. Why? Because with irony the thing that i beleived would gift me all i wanted from life, gambling, i kept a secret from those i professed to do it for where recovery is something i am proud to share.

Again thanks for the priceless lesson, i hope your own path gifts the same to you.

Regards duncan.

Captain

Fella I can only speak of my own gambling life, with honesty it always revolved around machines, it started with fruit machines in the pub or arcades then progressed to the bookies with the inception of the fobt.

For me the huge difference is mine was the lure of winning a jackpot. As I said I won one on my first play and saw it as ",free"

money then relentlessly I pursued the next jackpot.

I would put a weeks wages in a machine to win a £25 jackpot then my mind would say, f**k I put a ton in to win 25 and just carry on playing thinking go on have it. From early on the act a futile one. How can you break even playing those machines!!

Then I embraced the fobt bigger wins, oh you guessed it bigger losses. I calculate I waged 100+k in the fobt.

The jackpot £500, do the math, I would need to streak forever to break even.

Winning never drove me on, the nearly wins did.

Two bells and one on the line above

I backed zero massively and 26 or 32 coming in would compell me to play.

I wonder if the programmers know this, for a random machine it happened alot.

To a degree I understand it as an escapism, a place another world to go to, leave your troubles behind.

But for me the draw of a flashing light

For me like a moth to a flame.

I had success on horses, dogs and football but truthfully it was just a light turned on in my mind to say the machine Is where you want to be. The same with the lottery, for me it breeds acceptance.

Without doubt the fact my father Is still an active compulsive gambler, something all my life that was accepted not addressed did breed acceptance for my own losses, it was plain to see but never dealt with.

Something today I address in my own short comings.

The difference I see between me and gamblers who don't usr machines with grossly restricted win possibilities is for you is there not the possibility of an end game, to pick a bet to end all bets, the scoop6 or similar.

For my form of gambling it was truly a futile act.

Today again you help me to see that. I thank you for it.

Regards Duncan

Captain

fella again thanks for sharing your own thoughts observations, it as I say gifts my resolve to keep making the right choice.

I in turn hope it offers you therapy in your own journey.

Regards Duncan

Cap,

I want this post to come across in the nicest possible way but admit that that will be difficult. I have always been a great supporter of yours but have fallen away from your diary in recent weeks/months.

Your diary is yours and you are free to fill it with what you want within reason. As the reader I have a choice to read it or not and recently I have chosen not to read it because I think you are in denial. I think that your are not willing to change and are not open to any new suggestions. You will always find a way to justify why you cannot try something new.

My concern with your diary is with how appealing it appears to newcomers on this forum. When we are new we are still in denial. We come here with a problem and read about total abstinence and doubt whether we can achieve this or not. We then read your diary and newcomers always comment on how they love reading your diary but that is because with your way gambling is "allowed".

I feel uncomfortable congratulating you on your progress when you continue to gamble. You recently admitted to gambling 10k per year on sport and justify that to yourself.

There is a reason why someone like DMac only sees the benefits of his new life without gambling whereas you continue to mope about your life as it now is. He has completely eradicated gambling from his life whereas you continue to pursue it. You cannot understand how happy we feel because you have not experienced the feeling of total abstinence. You can disagree with me all you want but you are in complete danger of being years from now doing the same thing continuing to make excuses for why others can change but you can't.

According to feedback, addicted gamblers struggle to come to terms with losing money, hence the reason we compulsively chase losses. According to you, you gamble every week on sport without any consequence. You can take it or leave it as long as you are not gambling on "random". Very puzzling.

I hope this doesn't come across as being too harsh. You are a nice man and I have enjoyed our sharing of posts but, as I said, I cannot continue to praise someone who admits to frequently gambling by choice but is on a forum for troubled gamblers.

Tomso.

Everyone on here is here to address gambling problems or compulsion in one form or another. We should all be united in trying to help each other.

There is nothing to be gained from user rivalry or being critical of approaches taken by others.

Praise and support should be welcomed but never sought.

Cap,

I have just read your reply on my diary, which I somehow managed to miss.

I have read your reply several times and accept that I was wrong with my post on your diary. The wording was too strong and a little rude. You are correct in saying that I don't know what you have been through in terms of counselling etc.

In terms of me questioning how genuine you are or wondering if you sometimes attempt to wind people up - you describe me as someone with a wonderful life who has a small gambling problem. I lost somewhere between three and four grand in eight days on a roulette machne. That is not someone with a small gambling problem. I can only assume your comment is designed to wind me up.

In summary, although my thoughts on your recovery have not changed I didn't have the right to criticise you on your diary. I should have kept my thoughts to myself. I apologise for this. Although I don't read your diary much any more it won't stop me from popping in on future unless you are against this. Feel free to do the same. We are big boys.

Tomso.

Thought for today - disappointment is much better than despair and disillusionment.

I am disappointed today, well gutted actually. following a near miss on a football win last night.

However that is nothing compared to feelings of despair and disillusionment which I had after many random gambling sessions where I lost every penny I could get my hands on in one afternoon.

A near miss only means yesterday and today I knew what I stood to lose - only my affordable stake and has made no difference to my work or anything else today.

Random gambling resulted in having to wait and check bank and credit card records to find out the cost of my out of control actions and an inability at times to properly function as a person at work and out of work.

Hi there bud. I have read all ur post and would just like to say. This website is for people who would like to stop gambling. Ur post seem to big gambling up a lot off the time. Ur ar probley the only user on this site who can gamble when u feel free, if that's true witch I very much don't believe to b honest. Don't think it's write telling every 1 how close ur nearly come to a win when in my eyes that could trigger a lot off people off to start betting and try to b like u. And we all no where that leads. Just saying mate lot off people agree with me on this. Anyway hope u don't go on a binge anytime soon because I would not wish that on my worst enemy no how it makes us all feel

Well the blue touch paper seems to have been well and truly lit over the past few days! I saw this debate raging, and felt compelled to add some comment.

Cap - apologies, I'm going to post it here because this seems like a sensible place where everyone will read. First things first - let's please remember what we're all doing here guys. This is a forum - a community - that thrives on unity and draws strength from common purpose. People come here for support, guidance and camaraderie, so I think everyone would do well to bear in mind we're all pulling in (roughly!) the same direction.

Like many, I find Captain's approach utterly frustrating. I totally disagree with it and it makes me very uncomfortable. As a compulsive gambler, my personal experience tells me I can never do as he does - I can never gamble in moderation - because it will surely bring about my complete destruction. Moreover, I've often given tried to give him many a proverbial kick up the backside - to tell him to stop wallowing, get out there, try new things, and appreciate all the special things that he DOES have in his life, rather than dwell on bad decisions from the past. I accept there is real danger that some 'weaker' members might see his diary and somehow find temptation/permission to gamble that would not otherwise have been there.

Having said all this, the forum cannot become a place for personal attack or judgement. This is not a place for vendetta or bad blood. Every single member has the option to write whatever they choose on their own diary (provided it does not contradict gamcare's rules on bad taste) - equally, every single member has the option whether or not to read that diary. This is not a religion, or a cult; we are not following a divine being - we are just united in our collective determination to overcome problem gambling.

The assertion that somehow Captain had not made progress was one that made me very uncomfortable. As mentioned, I utterly condemn his tactics, but I acknowledge and respect the steps forward he has made in the past 6 months. More than that, his mention of time in counselling/therapy, and with personal problems in his past, goes to show that every person on here has a background we can never know - and should never judge. The other important point is that figures are completely immaterial on here - £200 a week is a hell of a lot to many people (me included) but it is totally nominal. That figure could be £2, £20, £2,000 - whatever - no one can start making value judgements on what is and is not acceptable. For people like me, it is zero. For others, it may be different.

Tomso - you are one of the forum's strongest contributors, but I nearly fell off my seat at the irony of your words. "Not willing to put in the same effort," "not willing or open to change". I have lost count of the amount of times I've encouraged - urged - you to try some different tactics in your recovery to avoid winding up back in the same place!! But of course - that is your journey and I completely respect and support you through it.

In summary, let's every one of us remember exactly why we are here. There is no definitive right and wrong way to do this - but in the words of the great Maximus Decimus Meridius our best chance of survival is if we stick together. Captain - I think your tactics are complete madness - but I respect your right to do as you wish.

And wisdom to know the difference."