Life With Sports Bets Only

I just thought I would add my 2 cents to Captain's diary here.

It saddens me to see other forum members on here criticizing Captain's methods. I'm not overly familiar with the forum member who posted an extensive rant a couple of days ago, although I would have expected better from someone who by all accounts has been here for a considerable length of time. I suspect he was having a bad day and most likely regrets his post in a big way. Nevertheless I felt the need to defend Captain here, not that he needs it, but I still think it's worth saying.

About a week ago, I was struggling in a big way to keep my abstinence streak going. I was approaching 100 days without gambling. It was actually captain who came onto my diary and strongly advised that I continued to not gamble and that abstinence was the way forward. If the guy wasn't genuine, there is no way he would have offered me such support.

I also don't like how certain members come on to this diary and try and put some guilt trip on captain. Listen, if you don't like his methods, it's very simple. Don't read his diary. If a new member stumbles across it, they're not going to go and gamble off the back of it. I think there's something to be said for someone who is taking a different approach to his addiction.

Abstinence does not work for everybody. Deal with it.

Captain

it seems our thoughts spirralled into another meltdown of sorts, for me not at all the intention I believe we both set out to achieve, for me our recent posts have been a great source of therapy for me and as I said I hope the same for you.

The truth is captain I stood in Tomso's shoes, I had the same feeelings of frustration at reading your posts, in truth I just took the words out I wanted to read and let them turn to bile in my own mind, as we both know the results back in september last year resulted in your thread becoming the hot topic, the forum suffered greatly because those most important people were forgotten.

Those people are us, each and every one of us, first and foremost as individuals, we have to have belief in ourselves and our choosen path.

I left the forum,stopped believing in my own recovery, I made a choice at the time the wrong one for me, the resulting events meant I gifted back to my addiction, not yours or anyone elses.

When I returned I took the counselling, went back at GA with my tail between my legs and got back to looking out for my own recovery and have through that re-ignited my own journey with a greater sense of balance, to which I first and foremost look after the only person that I can.

That is me, I have written recently that it is the one selfish act that I have to gift myself.

I am not going to second guess anybodies feelings, I don't need to, I am not going to join the who can P#iss furthest competition, because I pi##ssed in the wind for twenty years, it just gifted me wet feet.

Truth is your thread gifts me therapy, I actually believe that tomso's post on your thread did him the same, because as I said I wore those shoes, trod those steps.

I like tomso was man enough to appologise, something I am glad you accepted, because yes we are on a journey, some folk are ready to give in to addiction, some are not, what path they take today I have the wisdom to know it won't affect my own.

Keep asking those questions Captain, only recently you asked on somebodies thread 'how can you have savings after only 500 odd days abstinence?'

An uncomfortable question?

A question beyond the boundaries, questioning somebodies addiction/ is it real?

For me none of the above, you ask those questions to further your own recovery do you not??, you seek your own therapy through them, I never want to stop learning.

Through further erradicating a trait in my personality, the one where I judged everyone in a heartbeat is something your thread gifted me

for that again I thank you.

Regards Duncan

I'm here to continue abstaining from all gambling to protect myself and the ones I love. If something needs to be said then I'll say it and I'll deal with the consequences later, no problem.

Someone mentioned we all need to be 'United.' That we're are all trying to achieve the same thing. There is an elephant in the room. We're not all United. 99.999% are trying to give up gambling totally, don't discuss last nights bet and try to move on from the destructiveness of gambling. Whilst the remainder choose to just stagnate here.

Below are just a few examples, from your own diary, how you intentionally or God forbid unintentionally, attack others:

"The recovery diaries area should be for individual diaries only. (I had same view on the 90 day thread thing and there have been threads started 'just liked the title' and the like - these are not diaries, just someone P****n about." in reference to Tomso's debating thread.

"Current users in long term recovery want to either preach and enhance their own self given God status or just spend time in general chat. Many users sadly ignored my posts after being influenced by others who sought to eliminate me from the Forum" in reference to anyone who disagrees.

"your previous post about never having gone to GA, I wouldnt recommend it. I know many people have benefitted from it and each to their own and if it helps fine but for me it is a hierarachy based on a pyramid structure, the following of a made up religion and requires people to be willing to be part of a cult. (Some users on here try to push it in the face of others then stop communicating with those users when they dont sign up to the cult.)" Again, an example of openly attacking others on this forum in a detrimental manner.

"Thanks for the post Martin and you are probably right that some people are in denial about their real issues." Who are you referring to here Captain?

"I am disappointed today, well gutted actually. following a near miss on a football win last night." This really takes the biscuit, you must know, you must be aware that there are people on here who are trying to escape from any talk about gambling 'near misses' or wins because that could very, very easily trigger a relapse.

"People dont seem to believe me when I say I have been looking for alternatives for 6 years now but its true." You're right, I don't. In reference to finding an alternative to gambling.

"I dont subscribe to this new diary nonsense, add to your original diary, look at your posts on there and see the progress you made and the steps you took to make that progress and begin those steps again, Do what works best for you. You have had all the advice, you somehow need to be able to take it." Putting Tomso straight.

"Some latter posts on your previous diary seemed complacent to me, you thought you had done it and there was no stopping you, you quoted that no gambling and no smoking was easy peasy and the like. now you know it isnt." Further advice to Tomso, the irony is overwhelming.

" I try and support you but sometimes I don't get you. Your last post indicates that one of the worst things about your recent loss of a few thousand is not being able to go to a couple of nights out. If that's what you think your head isn't in the right place.

On the other hand if going to these nights is as you put it the best medicine then borrow £100 and go to them. It's a drop in the ocean compared to what you recently lost." Are you deliberately trying to wind him up here? Are you deliberately trying to miss the point?

"You can still play football, you have a happy family, you have lots of mates, you go to a big family dinner at Christmas and you have just moved to a new house.

Everyone has there own issues and reasons for gambling but can I just say if I had your life I wouldn't have gambling problems, my life would be perfect." Again, more unnecessary needling. What type of contribution is this other than thoughtless?

" World research with millions of addicts shows that all addictions stem from the person having a void in their life of some sort." You never quoted your sources, schoolboy error.

" I have continually said my current life status is down to bad decisions and circumstances." Well fix them. If it's gambling related then why are you still gambling? Do you think they are looking on as you go into the bookies saying "he's learned his lesson, he's found redemption, he's sorry for what he did and moved on with his life. Look, he's only 'Sports betting, bless.' Go and build bridges, change your life for real, stop dwelling in the past. Keep trying and then try some more and if you're not accepted at least you'll become a better person. At least you built your side of the bridge.

Well, so endeth my brief comment and it's been cathartic. I don't know you, I only know what you write. I don't like your stance on gambling, the way you 'talk about gambling. I don't like how you criticise those who have found happiness and label them as deluded.

I'm not very diplomatic and I don't mince my words. You are not a victim here, you give as good as you get.

P.S. Good Luck S.A. keep being positive, everything will work out just fine.

Lazarus, nearly 2 years gamble free and the happiest I've felt ever. Over and out.

The previous post re-publishes some of my observations and opinions and experiences. Maybe the poster is a lawyer, reads like a case for the prosecution.

Made me smile as I read through it. Anyone can misinterpret and twist statements should they seek to do so. Many innocent men are in jail for life on that basis.

Some of my observations of others will be accurate, others will be wide of the mark. But they are purely based on what I read. Same for some posts from others to me. Many which have told it like it is have been very beneficial to my recovery.

There are abusive posts from others which fly around and go without comment. From time to time someone decides to start a campaign against me because they don't understand or agree with my recovery route. I have learned to accept this.

My recovery is in a great place. My near miss during the week has not triggered any thoughts to chase losses via random gambling. This delights me and is a major indication of how far I have come.

Well done Captain. It's a very good sign of your recovery that such posts don't have the slightest affect on you. In fairness the latest post to your diary (the one before your latest entry) is laughable and just quite embarrassing for the user concerned. They seem to get worse and worse lol.

Keep on doing what your doing man. All the best.

Morning,

"Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out."

Jas 🙂 x

Ha ha thanks Jas great quote!

Hope everything is good for you. You are my top supporter on here for 4 years solid.

I am making progress better than ever and no turning back.

Morning Captain,

I've got a bit of time spare and so I'm perusing the site. All good here thank you...I can't find my diary it's been so long since I posted anything. Everyone is new to me on here now. I don't gamble anymore but I do still do the lottery. Unfortunately I had regular numbers and they are part of my DNA now lol.

I can't remember the last time I crashed and burned it's literally been years. Remember in recovery you have to be gentle on yourself and you have to be selfish too. No-one can help...only YOU.

My sister is still in action but then again she has far more disposable income than me...I think it's beginning to burn but she won't ever tell me the truth. Rock bottom here we come......I love her so I will catch her when she falls and help as much as I can.

The sorry Jas of 2008 is a happy Jas 2014.....the only rollercoaster I go on now are at theme parks!

Sorry...taken over your diary 🙂 I believe you are doing really well. CG is highly complex and emotive. I'm proud of you.

Your friend, Jas x

Jas - great to hear how well you are doing. Sorry about your sisters troubles.

You can take over my diary any time you like, it's a pleasure 🙂

Hope to meet you in real life sometime and I mean that.

Cap,

Thanks for the post on my diary.

For the record, you are not my enemy.

You look for an explanation as to why I have changed my opinion of you and some of the things you say on your diary when you have not changed in the past few months. You miss the point. I have changed.

Tomso.

Captain

Just so good to see u goin strong and its all working out well for u, as always still stand by my words ur diary had the most positive affect on my recovery and helped me find myself without I wonder if it would av took much longer

Each to their own though and I wish u all the best for the future

Castle2

My No 1 supporter dropped by on my diary yesterday, she is 6 years clean. I am so proud of her and so lucky to have had her support.

Extracts from her post said:

Remember in recovery you have to be gentle on yourself and you have to be selfish too. No-one can help...only YOU. CG is highly complex and emotive.

She is so right. I am going to use this and remember this.

Since the turn of the year there has only been one midweek in four with a decent number of football matches on. This has meant that for 3 of the last 4 weeks I have only had one bet per week on the weekend football.

Contrast that to my random gambling days when I would have at least 20 random bets most days plus numerous football bets over a week on individual matches which I now realise I watched only because I had bet on them, or maybe only bet on them so I would watch them for something to do. Throw in daily and weekly bets on other sports and quite easily I would place over 200 bets a week when at my worst.

Would never at that point have imagined I'd go from 200 bets a week to 1, some reduction!

Putting down some more detail on comparing the old compulsive gambling me to the new me:

Here is my weekly routine from a few years ago:

Monday - lunchtime random gambling in bookies

after work - back to bookies for more random gambling. Home and watch Monday Night football with a bet on it

Tuesday/Wednesday - same lunchtime and after work, watch football at night or track scores with money on the football

Thursday/Friday - same lunchtime and after work again then watch US Golf with a bet on it

Saturday/Sunday - Random gambling in morning, home for lunch, more random early afternoon, home at 2 or 3 to track and watch horse racing and football scores. Sometimes watch Saturday lunchtime football with a bet on it, Watch US Golf at night, bet other players where those I originally bet are out of contention. Sometimes also bet european golf. Bet European football to chase random losses, back in bookies Saturday night sometimes

Throw in bets and time spent watching Snooker and Tennis tournaments when they come around.

And all of that was just the doing, not taking into account the studying and planning time!

Nowadays its only one or two football bets a week and tracking scores Tues/Wed/Sat. All the other time has been replaced by reading, walking, watching TV, thought and reflection time. A more peaceful life with less stress and worry financially. A more challenging life in other ways, sometimes have to work hard not to get bored.

Very rarely watch Live sport now, just gradually reduced and reduced as I omitted betting on it. Think growing up in an era where there wasnt Live sport on much and just mainly football highlights means that was what I was used to. When Sky came along it was great for a while but then it reached a stage where it was all for gambling purposes for me. Just switched off watching after my bet had gone down.

Not as fit as I was when Random gambling. Still do a reasonable workout at the gym and keep the weight off but I used to really go for it in celebration of a good win or really hammer myself hard as a punishment after a bad loss.

As my mode is the same all the time now, neither up nor down, I dont have the urge inside me to work as hard.

So I worked harder before based on a (false?) buzz of gambling and it did my health good but not my finances!