lost the plot..

Hi Mate

Thanks for sharing your story of your trip to brighton with us. I can fully understand why you did it...sitting in the rain etc etc.

Been there( not brighton lol) but in them shoes..we kinda just think f**k it..what am i doing/ what have i done/ when am i going to change this sad pathetic lifestyle/ in a daze/confused kinda of state. that night will be good to reflect back on..when your next gambling urge hits. anyway dont mean to go on...just i could fully relate to that story, take care my friend

neil

Hi dropping you a note of thanks. Its good to be back here at least! And yes I agree I have had enough so enough of it all! Keep in there and thanks again Blocked.

Hi Lb.. well done on your gambling free time.. a good acheivment.. When the urges next strike, which they are sure to do at some point.. remember that they always pass.. delay, delay.. and then the feeling of wanting to gamble passes. Onwards and upwards.. S.A 🙂

Glad to read a post full of positives which ended with you planning an early night.

Now that sounds like lovely normality to me!

November (72 days to go)

Hows things today ?? Good to see you posting on other diaries as well...stay positive you CAN do it mate 😉

YeAh Londonbloke

It is great to see your last posts have been a lot more positive.You can do this m8.Stay strong Jeff.

Hi Londonbloke, just popping in before i head out to work............ Hows things going, surperb seeing you're past positive posts..........

Onwards we march together

Hi Diary

Another day out the way, had a good less stressful shift tonight which was good.

Got 2 days off now, asked about any overtime but none going. Probably a good thing really as i've just done a 7 day shift and on Saturday when i go back i do another 7 days, so the break will do me good. Although i could really do with the extra money.. But what the heck Rome wasn't built in a day..

Feeling ok, got a few quid from the tips i made from these past few days sitting in my pocket and today (Thurs) is day 15.

Have had a few thoughts about gambling, but not me wanting to do it, just these b****** adverts everywhere now on the TV.

They just get me thinking about how many more people out there are now gonna go down that miserable path that we have all been down and get hooked on some on-line casino.. Should be some kind of warning really i think cos all they go on about is 100% deposit bonuses and how great it all is etc etc... If only they knew the whole story..

I guess lots of people out there can control it and its fun to them.. I can't, that i do know and i'm beginning to hate everything about it.

The sad thing is each of them ads will make god knows how many more people end up in situations that we've all been in..I wish i could warn them all....but i can't...

Anyway i'm going off on one again, gonna grab something to eat and go to bed.

Thanks wp, NHS, Blocked, S.A, November, Jeff and Pauls for your support..

Takecare all and keep fighting the good fight..

Hey londonbloke

The last couple of weeks I have read your diary from start to finish, and what a rollercoaster ride you've had. It certainly rings familiar with me, especially your trip to the beach in the rain... on more than one occasion I went walking in the rain late at night. I remember one time I was walking and a police car pulled up and the 'officer' said "do you know you're in a rough part of town?" It turned out they thought I was looking for a working girl cos I was in the red light district of my town! I just said I was walking home and had no idea this route was so dangerous. They followed me for a while and then sped off, maybe to actually do something worthwhile, but probably not.

Anyway, this is your diary, so back to you. I love your Rome wasnt built in a day comment, I had never applied that saying when trying to stop gambling, I think it says a lot about taking things one day at a time. You are on 15 days now, so your target is 16 days. Tomorrow your target will be 17 days. As I have just posted in my diary, the thoughts may never go away, and I agree wholeheartedly with your views on gambling advertising. Who knows, perhaps one day a kind of Gambler's union will be formed who will raise money and buy TV time in order to get the message across in commercials similar in style to the upsetting NSPCC ones, or maybe hardhitting like the Think! driving/speeding ones.

Keep up the good work.

Yes, those adverts seem to be getting out of control and there will be more vulnerable people sucked into them.

But we can't do much about those - let's look after number one at the moment, eh?! We are all in rocky recovery journeys which will all lead to the path of eventual happiness.

November

(68 days to go, 10 weekends to go!)

Hi Diary

Thanks Youngdad and November for your posts.

Well back to work later today (4pm sat) for another 7 day shift, and if i'm honest i can't wait to go back. Never thought i would ever say that cos it can be a load of stress and hassle.

These 2 days i've had off seem to have dragged on and on, done most of the things i was planning to do after the first morning off, shopping ,washing etc. Then i just couldn't be bothered to do anything else and have sat in front of the TV most the time.

Sure hits home just how much of my time gambling took up when i'm left with this huge empty space to fill...

Anyway its been another 2 gamblefree days, and if its a choice of boredom or blowing everything i have then i know which i prefer.

The big test for me is fast approaching again, and that is next Friday. Normally get paid on the 25th but as its a weekend we get it early on the 24th. Just so happens that i'm off next weekend as well, so its all gonna hit at the same time. Feels like a bit of a test to me, but i'm 100% commited to this... I AM NOT GOING BACK..

Ain't had a drink these past 2 days either, blimey i'll be off to church next!!!..kidding..

So day 17 today and i feel pretty good, got 9 quid still in my pocket, a bit of food in the fridge, fiver on my electric and a 7 day shift at work fast approaching.

Welcome back me to "normal life".. even if it is still early days.

Takecare all...keep going..we can do this

i'm off to bed...

Nite

Well done, very well done.

Keep it going.... the prize it massive for keeping clean.

Brian

It certainly is very early days for all of us, even me many months on.

But normality seems to be returning which is great! Not only do we really respect money like your £9 in your pocket but we also respect the value of being able to keep busy by working.

Have a great gamble free day and keep up the great work that you have been doing!

November

Progress is progress LB 😉 dont talk yourself into blowing your wages though !! Get posting on here by the hour on friday if need be...you can do it mate 🙂

Well its 6.58 am and i ain't yet been to bed.

been off on one cos i'm now off work till tuesday and i'm aving a good few drinks.

been paid got paid early cos the 25th was a weekend so got it the 24th

If i'm honest really wanted to go and play on something..got the urge real bad..

But i did'nt..instead i got a case and a bottle and here i still am..

sad some people may think..but thats my life at present..my own fault..but 35 odd quid is better than 2000 which is what i ahve done on this very night and the 1's that followed on many months gone by..

well tonight i didn't... my direct debits will go out monday as planned and for the first time in many many months i can cover them all instead of having to ring various people up and tell em a pack of lies and then wing it to the next month all the time getting dragged further into the abyss..

just this simple thing is progress to me and i feel like a bloody idiot saying that but thats the reality of it..

I ain't doing this no more, my lifes a joke, i'm a shdow of the person that i once wass.

in a months time i would of written my first post on here and i want to see a change and i'm gonna..

its a long long road (feel a song coming on now...lmao) its bloody hard and it would be so easy to just go and do what i have always done ..i'm ranting onnow and i'm out of it so gonna end this..

TOday i didn't gamble and tomorrow is another day..

I've beaten this today, and tomorrow is my next battle..

best wishes all fighting this..you can and i can beat this..and we will..

i'm 26 days clean today ..god i wish i could do it again all over..live my life imean..but i can't..but i can get my life back...

1 dayt at a time

Takecare