lost the plot..

Morning lb,

Great to see you back but so sorry to hear that you had a difficult time down there. Might be best not to plan to go back there until you are well into another recovery journey. Then you can start to really appreciate and enjoy the scenery by the lighthouse.

I hope that a really good sleep has made you feel better and that you are ready to get through the weakend before tackling your job situation.

As Curly said please, please don't let gambling or drinking ruin your life any more. It's far too precious for this.

Make some major decisions in your life now mate and please make the right ones.

Take care and get some food inside you now!

GT

Good morning Londonbloke

And it is a good morning ,because today is the first day of the rest of your life.Today is the first day of sorting this mess out.Of course at the moment you will still feel fatigued.So maybe a lazy lounging about day eh .

I hope everything goes well with your job m8.I know one thing kid you certainly put the hours in.

Wise words from both Curley and gettingthere i think dont you?

Its strange m8 ive never met you,but i knew you would never stop trying to beat this.Ok things havent been good ,but they will get better.i want to try and explain something .

I think some people on here try to stop because they really want to and i think some people try to stop because they feel they need to.Now having been with you all of your journey i have no boubt whatsoever that you want to stop.I can also see now that you have to stop,or it will ruin you.This is also how it was for me.Believe me kid there is light at the end of the tunnel.I read on one of your last posts that you were upset to have lied to us fellow posters.

Do you honestly think we give a toss about a few lies that hurt nobody.No m8 we are not.What we are all bothered about is you getting yourself back on track.Nobody is going to give up on you kid.

Why?

Because we all want you to do this.

Lets get it on kid.All the best Jeff.

Hi Londonbloke,

Hope you are feeling better today and had a good rest.

I am relatively new to the site myself and in the early stages of my recovery but what I can say is that Curly10 is right - it is "never" too late to turn things around. This is my 7th attempt at kicking this evil addiction. I am currently on 33 days without a single penny spent but I am getting stronger every day. What makes this attempt different from the previous six is that I have found this wonderful website - the people on here are amazing and I owe them so much for helping me.

One of the first lessons I learnt on here during my recovery is odaat (one day at a time). This is a very important lesson because you don't need to put any further pressure on yourself at this time.

The next thing I learnt is to fill the void of the gambling. I bought a bike and am out cycling - this keeps me away from the computer and the temptation to gamble. When I go out to cycle I take no money or credit cards with me either.

I would also recommend posting on here as often as possible. I find it certainly helps.

I hope some of this is helpful to you Londonbloke. As I say I am very early in my recovery and wish I could be of more help to you but drop me a line anytime mate and I'll do what I can for you.

My fingers are firmly crossed for you that everything works out ok with your work.

Take Care Londonbloke and keep in touch,

Micky D

Just bumping up your diary and hoping that you are OK today.

One day at a time.

GT

Hi just a quick update..

Just got home after a trip down to St Stephens Church, Manfred Rd, Putney...

Why?....

Its a Sunday GA meet..

I got right to the church and as well as being 20 odd mins late there i "bottled it" and didn't go in..I had a smoke while pacing up and down and after 10 odd mins i started on my way home. Feel i've let myself down to be honest cos i was well up for it on the way there.

Never attended 1 before, but have sat here indoors since Friday night and thought i've got to get out...So i checked their website and found that meet which is very close to me and thought go, deal with this, what have you got to lose...

So even messed that up, but the good thing is just the trip out did me the world of good and i feel better for just doing that..

I'm bricking it for tomorrow, been in touch with my union rep and hes been giving me plenty of support. Couldn't get in touch with the bosses at work over the weekend so first thing in the morning i've got to call work up and arrange a meeting with the boss and sit down and tell him why i have missed work again for 2 days and left them all in the lurch..A lot of people rely on me at work and me dissapearing like i did really screwed everything up for them..

Anyway whats now done is done, i'm just going to open up and tell it how it is..no more covering things up. Fed up lying about it all...really am..

Thanks so much everyone for all your support, i will get back to you all a little later, just got so much going through my head all at once at this moment.

I'm in a huge mess, the worst i've ever been in, it ain't just the debt problems now that i face, which are killing me if i'm honest but if i lose my job then its taken the lot, because i will surely be evicted..

I know most of you have been where i am now, and i know from your stories there is always a way back..They give me hope..

Takecare all and once again THANKS...

(Will update tomorrow after i find out the outcome of this meeting )

Yo LB! You made the walk bud, ok not over threshold but there not going any where!! You ever thought of using the 1-1 counslling sessions? i tried a couple of times, would have persevered but was up in leeds, will no doubt try again once settled, poss a GA meet to!!

Good luck with work tomorrow and coming clean, telling how it is will really shed a weight of your shoulders........................

There definitely is a way back up bud and nows the time!!! No going back, onwards and foooooooooooking upwards.......

Hi

Well i've been given a lifeline.

I've been into work and had a long chat and just blurted out the truth about my gambling problem. Didn't hold back ,just told it how it is and i'm pleased to say that i have been given another chance..

Been going out my mind with worry, hardly slept last night thinking about it.. So now its up to me.....

So i'm back to work tomorrow and i just can't wait, am gonna face some disaplinary action in a week or so, which will stay on my record but that i can handle.

I honestly thought i had blown it..

So feeling good, well better than a few hours ago anyway, still got lots of other things to try and sort out (rent being the main one) but at least i'm off and running...

Just got to work ,work ,work now and try put this whole sorry mess behind me once and for all..

Takecare everyone..

Londonbloke,

Well done on today. That is the best post I've seen from you. It is a monumental step to get things in the open. It makes the addiction more 'real'. Congratulations. Now, onwards and upwards.

Brian

What a lovely positive post from you today and it really made my evening.

Really good news about your job but you really, really MUST take this God-sent oppotunity with both hands. You have come through some reallyblow moments and now there is only one way in which you can go.

And that is UP!

Stay very strong and one day at a time.

GT

good stuff londonbloke

Read you diary the other night. very powerful stuff. thanks for sharing as i got something from the post..the one where you went down to eastbourne..so much so even today i was thinking about it.

I do feel for you..as i know what this addiction can do to us!

but hey things can surely only get better now mate..remember these bad times and get something from them! surely you dont want to be in that situation again. you have been given a lifeline with the job...im sure arrears with council can be sorted with a phone call..just be nice and polite

with them..even if they are idiots who annoy you!

and as for debts,,we all have them..some worse than others sure..but we all have to deal with s**t like that. Prioritise the money you have to pay out..ie-rent! you will be fine buddy....so long as you stay clean from gambling!!

thats the advice i also have to give myself!

take care.

neil

Your getting some great advice in here LB hopefully your next trip to the seaside is a much happier one...you can do it mate,things are starting to fit into place already...take care youve got loads on here willing you onto better things,we can do this 🙂

Hai LB, Nothing to say, only echo recent postings to you budd!! Work, work pal and this is surely the corner....... Remember though sooooooooooo important to live aswell. Can be pretty inexpensive with forward planning, get out of london now and then......

Onwards and upwards

Hi Londonbloke,

I smiled when I read your diary today because I am made up for you mate - well done on getting the lifeline from work - fantastic news!

Check with work how long the disciplinary record lasts on your file. Hopefully it will be only 6 months or so.

I hope this gives you the lift to set off on a productive recovery Londonbloke. You sound like a great guy and do not deserve all the pain this terrible addiction has brought you.

As pointed out in previous posts - one day at a time mate and we can do this.

Stay strong and keep posting on here - we are all here for you and wishing you every success with your recovery.

Micky D

Hi LB,

From the moment you were honest with yourself, us and work things are getting better from your 'Rock Bottom' moment of that walk.

I've been there as well mate it seems the only way out, but something stopped us.

I have no idea what the future holds as Im on the same road as you, but what I do know is once you hit that moment you see gambling for what it is and we won't give it the satisfaction, we do stuff on our terms not that b*****d!

Everyone has different stages and rehab would be a great place for you in theory but you are not an A-lister celebrity who can afford to jack the job in.

I would say concentrate on your job and the rent to keep a roof over your head, and concentrate on not gambling and everything else will take care of itself.

Goto meetings, counselling, chat rooms, diary entries, as much as you can do to equip yourself for the fight.

In my former life I was a financial consultant so if you would like some advice on the debts you must have I would be more than happy, just like your bank if you are open with creditors its so much better than hoping they will go away.

Stepping off a cliff for gambling, u will soon realise it sooooooo even worth it no matter how grim things get.

If you need some advice drop a note on my diary and we'll sort something out.

Cheers Londonbloke, you sound like a top man.

Smokey

Bumping you up Londonbloke.

How are you getting on?

Brian