lost the plot..

Londonbloke,

Just to echo what wp said...

Others cannot do this recovery thing for you. It takes willpower, but it can't be done with willpower alone.

Blocks are an immensely important piece of the puzzle for me. Blocks include:

1) Restricting access to cash

2) Excluding from all current gambling channels

3) Not carrying cash.

4) Avoiding gambling environments/relationships.

Do these today !! They will not guarantee being gamble free but they will buy you those precious few minutes that it takes to consider what you are doing and to be aware of the urge for what it is.

On a personal note, I'm not so sure about the union thing.... I wouln't expect too much from them, other than them to offer a channel for counselling etc.. Hopefully you will prove me wrong. If it was me, I would use blocks and counselling and the support of my union but that the drive comes and stays from within. Given your personal circumstances, I would definitely use some of the free counselling available through Gamcare or elsewhere. GA can also be a good place to meet people who will share your journey with you on a personal level.

Good luck and get those self-exclusions done today !!!

Brian

Hi Londonbloke

Great last post m8.Its sounds like you have made your mind up.One word in your last post really sticks out kid.Consistency.

I know you have the will power.Get that consistency m8 and its done.All the best Jeff.

Hope things are going better for you Londonbloke. I've read all your diary and have been touched by how sincerely you want to overcome this addiction but how hard it has gripped you.

It seems that many on here have faith in you being able to beat this and I have too.

Good luck and stay strong

Simon

Hi mate,

Just bumping up your diary and hoping that all is well with you.

Have a great gamble-free weekend.

Getting There

Hi

Just got in from work. Its been a week or so since my last post, been working like a trooper since last Tuesday, even got 6 hours overtime in as well and made about 40 odd quid in tips along the way so that has been a bonus. Was a bit worried about the electric running out, but i've been able to top it right up and get some food in, and even get some tobacco, so at present things are better than they were.

Off now for 2 days, although i might be working Tuesday (overtime again) they are going to call me later today to let me know if they need me..So i'll wait and see..

Have spoken to my bank had an appointment on Thursday before work and just laid it on the line and told them i no longer wanted a debit card and could they replace it with a cashpoint only card, am awaiting it now (hasn't arrived yet). I've reduced my daily withdraw limit as well and also set up direct debits for my rent and council tax while i was there, he did it all right there and then, i took all the paperwork in with me.( They will now come out on the 26th of each month, 1 day after payday)..

He even tried to get me to upgrade my account even tho i have a large loan and a large overdraft with them already..all for a monthly fee of course..

I couldn't believe it really could'nt..Told him thanks but no thanks...they get enough money off me already with the interest payments..

Haven't self excluded the arcades near me yet, been too busy with work, but its the next thing on my list..theres 11 arcades all within a 15 min bus ride from my front door, 3 less than 5 mins walk away, and i couldn't count all the bookies near me theres just too many of them.. But i will self exclude the arcades, they were always the places i would end up in..Got to sort out some photos...Hope to make a start tomorrow with them..

Now the bad news...

Got knocked off my bike today on my way to work by some f******* lunatic, clipped my back wheel and sent me flying into the curb. They sped off before i could get there registration plate but people walking past did stop to see if i was ok. Just cut my hands and knees up a bit that was all, more concerned about my bike really. Totally buckled my back wheel so got no bike to get to work now until i can pick up another wheel, so thats a pain in the you know what cos its money i don't really have at present.

Anyway onwards and upwards, things are better now than they were a week ago even with me losing my bike so thats a positive step at least..

So sitting here now with a cup of tea, ain't had a drink since the last day i gambled either even though i have a few quid in my pocket, and thats something that i would always do especially on my first day off, but i just don't feel interested, keep thinking about the things i could do with that money, what other things i could buy or pay off.. (of which there are plenty)...so thats another thing to feel good about ..

Things are slowly getting better, been feeling much more positive about everything as this week has gone by. I try not to think about the mess i'm in, instead i'm just taking things ODAAT and as each one ends, well its another part of the puzzel back in place..

I also know that its early days and my latest loss is beginning to be forgotten.. This i know from previous experience is where the hard work begins for me, but with these extra blocks i'm finally putting into place and a decent "mindset" i'm ready to move on..

10 days gamble and drink free for me today..

Its a start...

I'M NOT GOING BACK..

Takecare everyone, keep your guards up..

ps..thanks Brian, Jeff, Simon, Gettingthere and everyone else for the ongoing support.

Hope to catch up with the diaries over these next few days..

Great post blokey 🙂 unfortunately (your bike) these things are there to test our resolve and youve passed with flying colours.,keep going mate odaat you can do it...believe in yourself mate 🙂

Hi Lb.. likewise.. great post!

Lots of positives in what you say.. keep working at it.. your doing just fine.. keep safe.. S.A 🙂

A fantastic post, mate! And thanks so much for sharing it with us!

There will be low days like your incident with your bike and unexpected bills but you seem to be in a much stronger position now to deal with them.

You have been very busy with work and you have even managed to find time to sort things out with the bank.

So a huge well done on making such great progress in the last couple of weeks or so but hey, one day at a time still.

Getting There

Glad to see things are on the up for you Londonbloke. I share your feelings about the banks, the only time they won't let you borrow is when you really need it! I know it was my fault, but they allowed my to get in a serious financial mess and then refused to help me out of it (10 years ago)

Anyway, I'm glad they've listened to you and changed your payment days etc. Looks like you've got a chance to move forward, good luck, I'm keeping everything crossed for you!

Simon

Loving the last couple of posts LB. YOU are doing positive things and controlling your own life, kind of like the opposite to gambling!!

I too am a bike rider (no cash to learn how to drive!) and know your frustrations, i always got a puncture were the inner tube had to be replaced at cost just after a gambling loss, don’t let this be an excuse to gamble. The main thing however is that you escaped with little injury.

Look forward to reading future posts LB, little by little we can change our lives you never know maybe in 5 years we will not have to do so much overtime!!

Keep The Faith.

Londonbloke,

You are making the right steps. I particularly like the part about not having had a drink in 10 days. I think there is a bit of a cross addiction going on there, so even more the reason to congratulate you.

This is the new life for you, so enough of the back slapping for the moment. Time to get on with it and time to start enjoying it (as you seem to be). How does it feel to be able to provide for your normal expenses?

One thing that works for me.... set yourself a target... something you want to treat yourself to... you will enjoy it even more when you have earned it through recovery.

Best of strength,

Brian

Hi Diary

Had a good day yesterday, kept myself very busy..Got 4 passport photos done (wasn't going to at first because of the price that it cost me and kept thinking i might need that few quid later in the week) but i got them and now i'm really glad i did and have been into the 3 arcades within walking distance from my place. Had a few quid on me still too but had no interest whatsoever in giving them a penny. Got some funny looks again while explaining that i wanted to self exclude, really don't think all these arcades tell the staff working in these places that this is an option, only 1 of the 3 that i visited knew what i was on about ? ....Still thats that done..

Recognised a couple of people playing in the one closest to me, but all in all they seemed very quiet.. (I hope they all close down, would feel bad for the staff losing there jobs but the shops, all they do is cause misery)..

Got a load of shopping in with the rest of my tip money, hopefully it will last me a week, i done 3 different supermarkets today, lol looking for bargins in each of them and got a few too so am well happy..

Had a good read through some of the diaries tonight, replied to a few, many others i will get round to replying too. Lots of people doing really well and i'm pleased to bits for them all..

Day 11 today...

Today i will not gamble..

ODAAT...

Takecare..

ps..Brian...it feels good to be able to buy a few bits and pieces here and there, but moneys very tight..(actually almost skint again now after that shopping) but just a week now till payday, but even then i'll be pretty much in the poor house but at least a little piece of the debt i owe will be paid back..

Onwards and Upwards..

Hi Londonbloke,

Many thanks for stopping by my diary and posting - I really appreciate your time mate.

I have been following your diary too and I am really, really impressed by your progress. You are doing so well and I couldn't be happier for you. Massive round of applause from me mate! Stick to ODAAT and the days will fly by.

I am really sorry to hear about your bike mate - there are some ignorant people out there but Winningpost hit the nail on the head - these things are there to test your resolve and you have certainly passed with flying colours - good for you!

I am smiling when I read your diary Londonbloke because you are in a much better place now and you are getting stronger and more positive as each day goes on. We are all in this together and we will be here for you when you need us.

So, keep up the great work mate - you are doing so well - you should be very proud of that.

Great to hear from you again Londonbloke and hope you are enjoying a fantastic gamble-free week so far!

Micky D

Thanks for posting on my diary londonbloke. Its great that you're doing so well. You're right, these days are the hardest after just a week or so clean, we can do it!

Simon

Hi Lb and thanks for your support.

Well done on the self-exclusions, think I might do some more excluding myself.. its quite an empowering thing to do. Its amazing don't you think how quickly we can start to turn our lives around when we stop gambling. keep up that positive momentum as i try to do the same for me... S.A 🙂