lost the plot..

Hi Londonbloke, it's great to read of your continued progress. Keep enjoying your break and keep busy. Try and do some things you have never done before! There's plenty out there which are free. All the best russ

Hi mate

Thanx so much for reading my diary and lending your support. Ive been catching up with yours and just wanted to tell you what a great diary you have. As much as its sometimes painful i love it because its honest. As CG'S we are expert liars and are so adept at lying to everyone. The last thing you want to do is lie to yourself. Thats when you know you are truely lost. So its awesum that you are so open. Thanx for allowing us all to share it with you. You have a scary roller coaster going on there. Man that trip to brighton!!!!

Just remember. You created it...... You can destroy it

Good luck and thanx for the inspiration

Kyle

Glad things are going well LB.

I can certainly relate to the gambling dreams, they seem to hit hard when you've been away from gambling for a week or so as do the urges, but if you stay strong I'm sure they'll fade.

Maybe the lift dream means that your addiction is trying to take you to rock bottom, but you're fighting it? Just a thought.

Stay strong!

Simon

LB,

Keep it up. All you have to do is tackle today. When urges come, and they will, remember where they have brought you in the past. Wishing you all the best.

Brian

Hai Man in the Mirror, good on you for keeping this up mate.... any urges, well read over your diary and as Brian said remember the devastation it causes... Need to reward yourself, 14hrs overtime! split it, plenty B.B'S Brighton... win/win.....good luck

Alright mate,

Good to see you're making forward progress too. It's seeming really hard to keep going sometimes, but head down and as pauls said, make sure you keep something back to reward yourself. It worked for me for six months, I intend to make it work again now.

And as for my man in the mirror, "I'm asking him to change his ways. No message could have been any clearer (than the damaged bank balance :P).

All the best,

Ryan

Thanks everyone for your replies and kind words of support and encouragement..

Had a good day, really have, just pottered about doing odd jobs here and there. Even picked up 8 cans tonight, thought i'd treat meself while catching up with the diaries.

Oddly enough i ain't felt that tired, even after last night when i didn't get a lot of sleep, think now though after a few drinks i'll be out like a light soon..

Always been a bit of a night owl, don't normally work till the late afternoon/early evening so its not unusual for me to be up at this hour. And as i'm on holiday i can sleep in can't i so its all good.

Reguarding the "man in the mirror song" i must of replayed it on you-tube god knows how many times tonight along with many more of his songs..(had it in my head since i heard it this morning..lol)...I got a good excuse now though, i can blame the beer lol :-P

So day 12 today for me.. Have read a few posts tonight mentioning paydays...In the past i've almost counted down the days till mine had been paid in.. Now though, i would like to say that i'm not really that bothered about it... Yep i know its comming but i'm not getting too excited about it this time round?...Just gonna treat it as just another day because thats all it is..

Of course the urges are going to be there, my heart and head will be pumping like mad but i done it last time, all my direct debits and loans were paid, i just slipped up a few days later in that pub with a few quid that i had made from tips..

Whats done is done.. And whats gone has gone.. Blocks are in place this time around which are helping me no end..

Things are good, and that lager is going to my head so enough..One more song, and another roll up then its goodnight from me...

Keep strong everyone, keep them guards up..

Takecare everyone..

Thanks for the post LB:),it's fantastic when i read your diary now and see how positive and determined you are,honest mate your doing really well,stay strong.

Seano.

Hi Londonbloke,

Many thanks for posting on my diary mate - I really appreciate your kind words and support.

Great to hear you treated yourself to some cans. Fair play to you mate. We all need to treat ourselves every now and then during our recovery because if it was all about the battle we probably would get fed up with it and pack it in. So, good for you.

A track I always found fitting during my recovery was a song by Queen called "Too much love will kill you". Here are some of the lyrics:

"I'm far away from home

And I've been facing this alone

For much too long"

I always felt I could relate this to my battle with my addiction "before" I joined this site.

"I feel like no-one ever told the truth to me

About growing up and what a struggle it would be"

I am in a lot of debt due to my addiction and sometimes felt that no-one ever told me how hard it could be.

Fantastic song as is Man in the Mirror mate. I love relaxing with music and a few cans myself any weekend I don't go out.

Londonbloke, I know that if you keep posting on here and take it One Day At A Time mate you will say goodbye to this horrible addiction forever.

Stay strong and take care Londonbloke,

Micky D

Londonbloke, thank you for your support on my diary as ever, it's much appreciated.

Glad you're having a good break from work. I was concerned that you might slip as you had time on your hands, but I need not have worried, you're focussed, determined and are doing great.

Two weeks is a difficult time, the urges and dreams seem at their peak at this stage, but we can come out the other side stronger and it'll get easier.

Take care

Simon

Hi diary

Yesterday i did not gamble..

Today i'm not going to either..

Day 13 ... ODAAT

Keep strong everyone

nite

Hi Blokey, so impressed with you fella. You are doing great. Are you enjoying your holiday? Remember, stay on your guard at all times. It never leaves us, it's just a case of managing. I'm glad you are feeling the benefits of posting. You have the chance to be a real shining beacon of hope to many of here. Take care, russ

Hi Londonbloke

Get them first few weeks out of the way m8.I promise you it will get easier.Fantastic so far.Keep it going Jeff.

Nowthen LB

Cheers for the support, it’s a real boost and amazing how a few kind words can makes you feel. The Mrs is well chuffed with her promotion thanks for the congratulations.

You are doing really well, your posts are becoming more positive and real progress is being made. I know its not easy when being financially sound is years away, but we have to just keep at it, I got turned down for overtime three times this week and that created huge urges to gamble, but as we know too well this would just make it worse.

Hope you enjoy your time off and find things to fill your time, I personally struggle with this but I know keeping busy is vital otherwise old self destructive patterns will creep back in.

Keep The Faith.

You are heading for the fortnight bet free "blokey"...what a difference in your attitude my friend encouraging others too impressive stuff. ..we can do this mate, every day bet free builds confidence and gets one up on them evil demons...you've started a topic of songs for recoveries. ..mine would be "I'm on my way from misery to happiness today " by the proclaimers lol. ..take care buddy how good would it feel to go back to work even more days bet free 🙂