Metamorphosis

Learned helplessness occurs when an animal is repeatedly subjected to an aversive stimulus that it cannot escape. Eventually, the animal will stop trying to avoid the stimulus and behave as if it is utterly helpless to change the situation. Even when opportunities to escape are presented, this learned helplessness will prevent any action.

While the concept is strongly tied to animal psychology and behavior, it can also apply to many situations involving human beings. When people feel that they have no control over their situation, they may also begin to behave in a helpless manner. This inaction can lead people to overlook opportunities for relief or change.

Martin Seligman

Talking to a friend from the sixties that lives in the States who works in CBT and cant believe how much I have forgotten about how to live and take control.

Have been living inside a quicksand the past few months, every time I tried to climb out I sank deeper than ever. Grabbing on to all the hands offered from many different places in my life and for the first time feel I can make it onto firm ground again.

Those on here with their understanding and ability to express what is in my head have been a hugely significant part of that rescue mission and I appreciate their help more than they will know.

Yo Dragonfly.

As always thank you.

Your a good lady and good lady's always find firm ground.

Strength and honor

Hi DF,

Just a flyer by to wish you a good day...and extra steady in that gym 😉

Speak later and look after yourself..keep kicking this gambling into Nuts as you do so well !

Sandra x

Don't know about 'good' lady, think even bad ladies can climb out of the S***e and have my hobnails on for some mega kicking Sandra.

Thoughts on a Sunday morning

A very interesting week which has led to some deep soul searching. Thinking is that I have focused all my risk taking into my gambling activities over recent years which has left my life bland and so the cycle continues.

How can I say my life is bland, stupid ungrateful f*****g moron, I live on a boat on a beautiful river, have wonderful friends, a crazy stressful job, gorgeous granchildren. Gambling blinkered me, I couldn't see any of it. I achieved all this by taking risks throughout my life, some of them calculated, many much less so.

Talking again to someone who has known me since I was sixteen has made me look at events in my life and want to take control again, take risks again, sliding doors, one person, one phone call, life changing. At the age of 64 and three quarters my future beckons, exciting or what.

Hey... you seem to be in a much more positive place. Thats good to read.

I understand the "bland" comment. Unfortunately I have always viewed my life as pretty bland. Ive always found it hard to see the positives and after a period of time "short or long" of not seeing any positives I tend to relapse. Its a hard cycle of thought and behaviour to get out of, but you seem to be getting out of it just now and also remembering times past when you were in control of your life... and making things happen. Nice.

It makes me think of the film "sliding doors".. am sure youve probably seen it and how a chance event can send ones life in a completely different direction.

Anyway, as you say... "still listening"

regards.. S.A 🙂

Hiya 🙂

Good to see you in such uplifting spirits!
Ummm...let me tell ya..something bizarre is happening. Just got a text from someone i last spoke in December...and he is here in town wanting to meet up!! Panic panic panic!!! Lol lol...ohh god, do they know that girls needs more notice than just 2hrs? Lol..will make him wait, maybe till next time he flies by to this little town 🙂
Interesting... very interesting, it's like the spell going around 😉 HD!

Stay safe and keep kicking this addiction to the Nuts!!!!!! I'm right beside ya!

Hugs
Sandra xx

"Remember that a thought is only the fleeting conjunction of myriad factors and circumstances. It does not exist by itself. When a thought arises, recognize its empty nature. It will immediately loose its power to elicit the next thought. And the chain of delusion will be broken." ~Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche ..*

Nice quote... I need to remember that when my next set of gambling thoughts comes along.

Hope pour good and well.

Regards... S.A 🙂

...nice and short
((((((((((DF))))))))))
No more words needed

Stay safe, keep winning

Sandra xxx

Enveloped in sadness for my beautiful new friend Joan across the sea and my two oldest best friends in the world both struggling with cancer, what a wicked cruel world we live in at times.

Something strange has happened and I am facing things head on, no hiding in the murky shadows at the casino, creeping out in the early dawn full of despair and self loathing, denying the existence of my own ability to shape my life and accept the things I cannot change however dire they may be.

My thoughts have been that I have become selfish, putting energy into taking care of my health and money into building my shed (studio) but nothing in comparison to the money, time and energy spent hiding from the fear and trauma of life - how selfish was that. With more focus I can now concentrate on actually being less selfish and gain at the same time from the company of others and the pleasure of unexpected phone calls and visits, the pleasure of exploring what life has to offer once more - how did I get so lost.

The geriatric hippy emerges once more and as the lovely Sandra says so rightly - peace out.

Hi girl,

My thoughts are deeply with our dear friend across the pond and your lovely friends who is fighting things head on.

Life is not fair sometimes..and I'm deeply ashamed of myself and the state i was in recently..getting my head out of the sand and accepting the things around me id a little progress I'm aiming at now.

your post brought smile and a silent tear to my face. Words cannot express how proud i am of you hun, keep looking ahead, keep winning and enjoying life you sooo deserve

Sandra x

Hiya... People often say to me that I have to be more selfish... but in a good way. Selfish is double edged sword me thinks.

There is the selfish pursuit of instant gratification with scant regard for anything or anyone and then there is the selfish pursuit of being good to oneself and not pursuing self-destructive acts and ways of living and being.

Good to read that your pursuing once more what life has to offer and staying out of the shadows.

Warm regards... S.A 🙂

Hi hun,

Just dropping by to thank you for your unconditional support on here and behind forum walls.
Hope your weekend is lovely and peaceful. Keep taking what recovery is giving - your life back 🙂
Proud of you!

S x

Thank you peeps on here and behind the scenes, support is invaluable.

Here's me thinking after three months that I can face challenges head on no problem. What a f*****g joke. Have been making myself plan more and involving others in my life which has been giving me untold pleasure catching up with those I haven't been in touch with for ages. This however entailed a visit this week to a friend but I needed to get some shopping and there lurking were two of my favourite haunts of the past. No problem methinks and off I trundle.

Well what a f*****g nightmare, as soon as within sight the invisible magnets set in with the strength of a zillion horses pulling me towards the dreaded establishment and eventual doom. Demons chitter chattering on not one but both shoulders building to a creshendo in my ears that I couldn't survive a minute longer without entering the door. Reasons escalating one upon another, I needed a 'free' coffee, I needed the loo, I needed to just spend a few punds as I have been sooo good for sooo long and on and on and on.

Two hours later with bags of shopping weighing me down, a present for my friend and a healthy treat for myself I headed for the car. Did I feel an overwhelming joy of achievement at avoiding that tempting door, at not wasting all my precious money, f*****g hell no, I felt exhausted, sad and as though I had missed out on an exhilerating experience. How can my moronic mind still fool me this way. How long before I can celebrate knowing that yesterday 'I won' by not gambling. When I think of how many years I was trapped in denial, three months is as long as a knats **** in comparison, it's a beginning but oh such hard work.

So back to the good things in life, the river is coming alive as the big boats come out of hiding for the Easter break, eggs in the cupboard ready to be hidden in the garden when my grandchildren get back from their holiday and plants that have been begged, borrowed or stolen (only cuttings) ready to replace my garden still suffering from the floods of last year. Mrs Donald is nesting as are the other garden creatures after surviving the winds of this week, a crazy experience of being crashed about on the high seas all night in my boat but thankfully no broken moorings washing me down the river this time. So much to be thankful for and so aware of other friends on here that are experiencing the meltdown I had so badly prior to christmas. Their support kept me afloat and I wish them so much strength each and every one of them in finding the means and the will to survive, as on here we are all certainly that each day at a time.

Thank you for your kind words NT and today I am feeling proud but aware that a fall can so easily follow so staying alert.

Thinking about how entrenched this addiction is in our bodies and minds and as you say a lifelong battle. An analogy with Herpes comes to mind, lying in wait inside ready to leap to the surface whenever it senses a low in spirit or health and ready to cause pain and suffering. Nasty, nasty, nasty.

And so my daily battle continues to become healthy in body and peaceful in mind.