Metamorphosis

Hi Dragonfly,

Never give up on giving up, I feel your pain and frustration, but through following your diary, I have seen a very strong woman, pushing through all the S***e that life throws at us, she is still there:)) you can do this again,

Sending you positive and strong thoughts at this raw time.

((((((((DF)))))))

Suzanne xxx

Thank you Suzanne, just feel like I have been zapped by one of those electric fly killers you see in food places and am lying on my back rolling around in agony unable to fly to freedom.

Lots of decisions to make about whether to have more ops and about giving up work, the thought of living on a state pension it would certainly be the 'simple life' but then maybe that is just what I need. Maybe that is why I am spending all my money as I know it's last chance saloon and will never have that opportunity again but for f**k's sake what a dreadful waste when I could be using it to buy stuff that will make my life easier or saving it for when I really need it in the future.

Overthinking things as too much time on my own, should accept offers of help and dig out from my pit of depair. Sun is shining in my window, we will see - fight the little b*****d monkeys chitter chatter chasing losses, chitter chatter numb the brain, chitter chatter f**k off and leave me alone, not lonely today, just alone but life out there, don't let it pass me by.

Hi DF,

Wow!!! I missed a lot 🙁

Dear lovely lady, don't look at negatives sweets, life is full of bull, we tend to add to the pile sometimes but we also have that shovel by our sides to clear the mess away.
Do not give up on you darling! You are priority in this life, you matter, you are very important part in this world.
Don't hurt yourself no more, time to path the wounds up and start a road to recovery once again ☺

Here by your side, unconditionally

Sandra x

Lovely DF ☺

I hope this lovely day (do hope it's sunny your way) brings you peace and harmony.
Was just reading through my old posts...brought tear to my eye.
Miss you on here,
Thank you so much for your support, understanding and belief. Wish you all the best in ur journey ahead.

Hugs
Sandra x

Thank you for your wise words dear DF, always take so much out of you...

Stay safe

Xxx

Dancing with the devil again. Annihilated.

Ashames, frustrated, angry and so sad

Can recover financially but not so sure psychologically

Hey DF,

Our parents never told us that one about life getting harder as we get older not easier.but then I would not tell my sons that one either). It does get harder because experience, pain, and joy grows as we get older.

Dancing with the devil will never give you that escape, we think it will at the time, because not only does it lie to us, we are also lying to ourselves, it is simple self destruction,

We know that and yet this addiction hangs on waiting for that tiny chance to come back in and make us feel even worse.

You are worth far more than this DF, you must now put your own self first, life is for living in the real world every single day,

Get those wings flapping again and fly even higher in the safety of recovery. It is the only way to go forwards, you have been through enough Shxte now,

You can always says no to the next dance, you know it's your choice, please make the right one for you.

Suzanne xxx

Thank you so much Suzanne, Duncs and Joan, know I couldn't do this without you guys understanding.

Thought I had been through enough S***e recently then last night my macerator packed up and S***e literally all over the bathroom floor ha ha that will teach me to think ' things can only get better'. Luckily after the initial panic and managing to stop the flow I saw the funny side but today facing the cost of replacing it (plus the fence that blew down at the weekend) having wasted my emergency fund I am now even more in the proverbial S***e. Hey ho, could have been a lot worse, oops shuldn't say that, who knows what will happen, as long as houseboat doesn't sink I will survive.

Looking out the window, squirrel just knicked a whole fatball out of the bird feeder, greedy little fecker. Taking delight in my surroundings and nature again, a sure sign I must be on the mend.

As if you have not been through enough S***e lol, (just looked macerator up on Dr Google lol) sos DF but you have to laugh, Else you would cry,

Hey ho indeed,but you are a very strong lovely lady, and I can read your positivity through the Shxte, excuse the pun lol.

The boat may sink (heaven forbid) but you dear DF will still be standing, and loving nature, go get it girl, S***e to the S***e,

Take care and keep keeping on.

Suzanne xxx

Hey DF, hope your ok x

Thank you Suzanne and Stephen, I know you are dealing with your own stuff so appreciate you visiting my thread.

Still off work struggling with health but had to shop today as the cupboard was bare. Managed to walk past the devil's house and ignore the chittering Fire and Brimstone (Itchy and Scratchy's brothers Joan) in my ear. Stood outside for at least ten minutes and had cash in my purse which I had drawn out to pay for a fridge I bought on e bay. Made it home in one piece so went on e bay and treated myself to a wooden bowl I have wanted for ages, something I don't need and is a bit strange so perefect reward for being good, not illegal, immoral or even fattening, at the age of 65 am I becoming a slightly more responsible adult. Methinks probably not but sure prefer the after effects of spending money on me to handing it over to the devil.

Life can be a mega b***h but just had long telephone chat with a soulmate I have known since I was 16 and to get to sleep tonight instead of counting sheep I will be counting my blessings.

Good morning lovely lady,

Thank you so much for your post/early hours text and support.
Sounds like that wooden bowl is the best present you could gift yourself! It's nice to get things to ourselves, especially when we look at it as a reward ☺

You are right, life can be mega**** but such is life. (Esp when your 3yr old cat decides to wee on courtains again since he is too scared of the wind outside! :-0)
Am a lil worried now cauze landlord coming on Thursday for a house review and can imagine him "appreciating" the smell lol..curtains goes bk in a wash :-/...again..lol

So that little story was right on the subject huh...

I'm just glad you see how different and gifting life can be if we only take concious choices on the way.

Proud of you!

Stay safe Hun

Sandra x

Good morning ☺

How are you keeping girl? Hope your network issues has been sorted and you can post without any hassle now. Please keep in touch...there is no one in a team ☺

One day at a time..you know the drift, I'm here - beside ya as always

Sandra xxxx

Well three years today.

What a mix of complete disaster and euphoric periods of peace and balance in my life.

I live to fight another day - what more can I ask in this mad mad world where many do not have that luxury.

Dragonfly wrote:

Well three years today.

What a mix of complete disaster and euphoric periods of peace and balance in my life.

I live to fight another day - what more can I ask in this mad mad world where many do not have that luxury.

Hello Dragonfly,

Just wanted to wish you happy greetings

thanks for being who you are

To fighting another day

Tri