Moving on..Day 1 and on

Hi alex I can relate a lot to your posts . I to became very lazy G.a call it being a mental loafer lol there words not mine but it really helps stimulate the mind with something positive. I gambled for lots of stupid reasons mostly to hide from things life, myself, grief, fear. I am also reading the chimp paradox very interesting. Your doing really well and the bike riding is a great idea. Keep going. Blondie

Thank you for the support and encouragement Blondie. I really do feel like this whole 'episode' in my life is nearing its conclusion. I'm now about 11 days since my last bet and when Saturday came the other day I didn't have any urges. Saturday and football have become my weak point with all this. I'm glad to say I listened to my team Norwich on the radio, finish with draw and didn't bet on it. I just enjoyed the game. Funny thing is, even with radio a certain commercial sports station that airs the games is playing gambling adverts and dishing out odds. It can be harmless, I suppose, but I'm not buying into having a bet on such and such to score at 10/1. The whole business is daft. I'm gladly seeing it as something I did once when I was a foolish prat. It is behind me.

Only urge I have had is from reading a book called 'Barry Lyndon, ' and in it the main character is a gamester, or gambler as we know it today. The urge quickly went as the character himself ends on up on a losing run. There's also a fictional account of what we consider a compulsive gambler but from the late 1700's. The character gambles all his money away at the card table, is told by note he has to escape because he has been accused of murder, and is given the means-- a horse and some bags of money to start a new life somewhere else. He doesn't escape. He takes the money from a saddlebag on the horse and continues gambling till he is skint. Quite funny. Made me realize how stupid gambling is and made me.

"I say, for my part, the profession is a bad one; and, indeed, have scarcely ever met a man who, in the end, profited by it. I am writing now with the experience of a man of the world. At the time I speak of I was a lad, dazzled by the idea of wealth, and respecting, certainly too much, my uncle's superior age and station in life." - Barry Lyndon on gambling.

Gamble free Day 11.

No new urges. Money out of bank and saved. Seems my only problem is that laziness. I keep wanting to do things but I put it off. I was never like this or this bad before. I suppose it's filling in that time in which I would have gambled. I need to be a little stronger, more motivated and need to get back on track. I can do it. If I can stop gambling, heck I can do anything! This will be my maxim!

"If I can stop gambling, heck I can do anything" My new life Maxim.

That should motivate me.

-Alex

Day 12 Gamble free.

Had a bit of an epiphany today and have now realized that I need to cut down of my video game addiction. Whilst I'm sure it's not as bad as others and certainly not as harmful as gambling, it's still a waste of my time when I'm doing it through compulsion. My moment came as I looked up video game addiction and in the entry on Wikipedia it mentioned compulsive gambling as related. It's the old carrot and the stick thing, I thought to myself. I'm not anti-gaming but I feel I wasted a lot of time with it. Anyway, I played a couple of hours today, then switched the wretched thing off. I'm finding it all like the moment when I realized gambling just wasn't worth my time or money, or ceased to get much enjoyment from it. Not against a few hours here and there, but I must control it and lose myself in it.

Many pluses at the moment, as I feel gambling is so far behind me now and I can start to start over and move on.

It is a good thing to be gamble free.

Day 13 and gamble free.

Now definitely getting somewhere. It is pretty much two weeks since my last bet and now I'm moving on from it. My posts from now on will be less frequent as a result. No urges despite the football and even if I wanted to bet I have blocks in place and my money is out of the bank. Prepared for those urges but know it'd be daft to give in at this point.

Thanks to those for the help that encouraged me to get to this point in my life. Gambling was destroying me. Now I feel I can move on.

Be back soon.

-Alex

Day 18

It's getting quite easy now. Don't mean to be smug or anything. It hasn't always been like this and I've been quitting or stopping gambling since I started in early 2011. I remember swearing I'd never gamble again after my first one or two big losses, but the psychological dependency has set up home and I continued in a zombie-like denial until mid October 2012. That is when I came here. The support and encouragement has been fantastic and without it I don't think I would have been free of gambling for as long as I have now and with the confidence to say "I don't want or need to gamble anymore". I do not want it in my life anymore. I forgive myself for my slip up last month too. It felt like having a cigarette after three weeks after quitting though and then going through an entire pack. As in, quite nasty and enough to put me off and make realize how stupid these vices are. I wouldn't recommend anyone relapse though. We all know of the pain. It's not just about money. It's the soul destroying nature of gambling. Just like any drug it has to come first and pains you with the illusory urges.

Well, 3 weeks free on Saturday and determined to free of it for good.

-Alex

Hi Alex, well done for getting where you are ! it really is a long journey tho, saying is "once a gambler always a gambler" i think the demons will remain always, just have to repel them

And again...I have gambled. Perhaps it wasn't a bad as last month though, as this time after losing about 30 quid I have finally self-excluded myself from every site I gambled at. I'm not sad or moping, I was angry at myself, felt guilty and had a horrible temper afterwards but I cannot gamble at the sites I once frequented so often, which is great. I was leaving the door open by not self-excluding myself and fell back into it, and today I can't. The football betting has been my downfall, but now I couldn't place a bet if I wanted to or not. Starting over from today.

Best wishes to everyone in this new year. I'm really glad I found the place and hope everyone can continue their winning battle over this vice.

Felt I needed to post as I'm doing fairly well and am happy being free of something which dogged me for so long. I hope for a gamble free year and am determined to move on, a painful lesson learnt.

Still very early days but the fight is on and right now I have no need for gambling in my life.

My thoughts are with those still trapped and others life me who want to be free of it.

Have a great year, everyone

-Alex

17 days since my last blip.. Feeling good about myself and my future will be brighter but need to work harder on change. Need to focus my energies into something positive. Being an 'ex' gambler and soon ex-smoker is a start. Cycling on Sunday...do it.

No urges of late...honestly think I have the upper hand, so to speak. Self-exclusion helped a lot.

-Alex

Glad I'm gamble free atm ... it's refreshing. Still a fight over the urges which are fleeting, so the longer I go without gambling the easier. Considering how low I felt this time last year over gambling I've come a long way.

I shouldn't even be up but am having insomnia problems which I've had for days now... anyway .. a post to myself as motivation.... R E B U I L D. Gambling now out of the way , time to start over, get creative again. I know I have within me the way forward. ... Yep , I'm tired .. posting helps though.

Gambling has been on my mind for a couple of days now, though not in sense of urges but more over disbelief in how long I continued to fool myself. Clarity is my word of the moment as my mind clears itself of any dependency on gambling. It feels like ages since my last bet but I know not to weaken. I'm in a good place in my life, for a change. Keeping strong .. still gamble free.

Need to be on my guard as the monthly wages will show up soon. Weakness last month was my failing. Unlike the previous months though, I am completely self-excluded from the sites I used. I will get through this week and month without betting. "I WILL DO THIS!" - It feels good saying that.

Have money, albeit not loads.. just need to focus and be on guard. Urges have been very few of late but still feel tempted to bet on football. I want get to that month point this month. Must not give up on giving up.