Moving on..Day 1 and on

Those adverts are not going away anytime soon. d**n right I'll give 'em finger as I know they'll create a new batch of problem gamblers and the misery and enslavement that comes with it. I just hate adverts I suppose, but mainly gambling ones for obvious reasons. Thanks for your post, LA.

Hi Alex. Really like the quote you put on today and thanks for sharing it. Hope you are not feeling as down? All well with me, well, you know, as well as can be expected - no urges whatsoever so that's a definite plus.

I am going to my sister's tomorrow until Tuesday. I may be able to use her laptop to post but just wanted to also tell you that my internet will be suspended from 11th Feb as I did not pay my bill last month!!! This has not happened for ages but of course with my FINAL relapse on my last pay day, this is the result.

I do have my mobile but I hate typing on touch phones and on a small screen so it may just be a quick post stating my increasing non gambling days!! Once I have paid my bill on 20th, I will be back up and running again from home. I think the whole world knows about how much I cannot wait to pay my bills on 20TH FEB!!!!!

Take care and speak soon.

Feb.

I'm not too bad now, Feb.

I have had a problem with a friendship and a person who I believe has stolen from me. It had been a difficult decision but I was so sure he took something and it was such a low thing to do that I just can't be friends with him anymore. I'd known the guy for years, always liked him but never trusted him. I'd feel awful if what I think he stole turned up, but I 99% sure I'm correct on this one.

Funny thing is though, this is exactly what would have set me off on a gambling binge before. Now I feel very empowered as I don't want to gamble.

Still, I would say I'm slightly heartbroken. Yes, I live in a poor town and times are hard, but that doesn't give him the right to steal from his friend.

Still, gambling is off the menu for me today, which is wonderful as I believe a weekend like this would have been a trigger before.

Day 49 today.

Sorry to hear that Alex, however, on the positive side, excellent demonstration of your self control at a difficult time!! Well done.

Take care and speak soon.

Feb

Hi Alex

Thanks for your post on my diary, realy is appreciated.

Congratulations on 50 days today, it's a great achievment, WELL DONE ! i agree what you wrote about your firend, it really is a low point to think that someone you consider a true friend, would break your trust. Life never stops suprising me, we just have to take on all these tests we are given and do the best we can. Have a great weekend and stay free of the demons, Dark Place

Thank you for you posts Feb & Dark Place.

I'm fairing okay now. I've had a funny weekend, but I feel all the stronger for it and believe I've made the right decisions and correct actions.

I will miss my friend and it is very heartbreaking as I've known him for nearly 20 years, as we grew up together. I think he's 31, and I'm 27. He was like an older brother to me, but now I can't bring myself to talk to him again. It wasn't the first time he has stolen either, but this time it was so low, I decided it was the last straw. I was just fed up with it.

Well, anyways other than that I focused on some decorating as I'm finding myself having to work from home at my dads house again and I need office space. Only a couple of days in, but it's coming on..did prep work, filling cracks, sanding down, and did the undercoat on part of the wall. I feel it's time to get working properly again soon, as I don't do many hours atm and get by on very little, but it's still better than a life stuck on the dole, I suppose. Before gambling took its hold I could work away quite contently, now I'm finding myself wanting to do that again, plus find those hobbies which I practically gave up over the last couple of years. Have been on on the bike (push-bike, that is). Haven't been far, but it felt good to out on it again.

Got to be wise. I find myself at day 50, doing very well but still having the odd urge to gamble. Mainly wanting the odd footy bet. I know I can't gamble anymore and it feels good not to be weighed down with all the cr** that came with being a a compulsive gambler. I must remember that when I get these bloomin' urges. Day 50 today, looking forward to Day 100, then Day 365 and so on.

-Alex

Hey Alex

Well done for hitting the 50 day mark and staying strong whilst you were having some problems. I think we are both realising that gambling is not the way to escape those problems, its far healthier to face up to them.

Keep up the great work

LA

Hi Alex. Thanks for the post and kind/encouraging words. 50 days is great!!You must be feeling good about that!! It hasn't been too bad accessing this site from my mobile, however, I probably won't be typing as much until have access to my laptop again.

Keep up your great work and speak soon.

Feb.

Had a big bottom post that took 10 minutes to write and then my computer went funny and it got deleted 🙁

Anyway, happily at Day 51 and happy to be a non-gambler. 🙂

Great news Alex. Keep going strong and before you know it, you will be completing your three quarter of a century!

Take care and speak soon.

Feb.

Is that 75 days or 75 years, Feb?

75 days is possible but 75 years would be quite hard as that would make me 102 years old. I know what you meant lol.

You stay strong too. 50 days was quite a milestone. Glad I got there.

Thanks & speak soon,

Alex

Alex.

a massive well done from me upon reaching a half century of gamble free days, for it you should be very proud.

so great to see the great support you give to others, a great thing to see, I hope it has the same affect upon you as it does me, a further top up on my resolve.

Keep taking it one day at a time, bettering your tomorrows.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Thanks duncanmac. You give sound advice whenever I've seen it and I thank you for that as it helped me early on, particularly the triangle you speak of. Remove one and the rest can't go on. Very true.

Helping others is helping me get along too. I feel it does as you say strengthen your own resolve. I didn't feel like doing it too much early on but now it's easier as the desire to gamble, the compulsion, just isn't as it was. I still have urges, but to feel as I feel now and to be as free of those chains that gambling put me in, I'd be the biggest fool going if I gambled again.

Funny how there's talk of half centuries, as my early attempts that followed slips the days did drag on like years as I wanted one last bet, which we know is never the case. I can do it now and I'm getting by fine, but always staying on guard. S

Staying strong.

Thanks again to Feb and duncanmac.

Hi Alex Thanks for posting om my diary, your right, gambling is the biggest illusion going, the promises of wealth & riches but behind the smoke & mirrors there is only misery & despair.Well done on your fifty days. Rents

Was thinking back to on one of the many things that I don't miss from gambling. The false sort of drug like highs it gave me. My heart would pound and I'd feel blood surge through my whole being as the last card would come in poker or the ball would land in roulette. It's a sort of high of risk, not natural, like a demon pushing a hand through your chest and squeezing hard on your heart. It's all false, I think. And I'm so glad I don't experience it anymore. It's good to be free of it. I must admit though, it was these false highs that kept me hooked on gambling for a long time, but I know it was all part of the gambling illusion and my own unnecessary greed.

Happy to gambling free.