my betting diary

Hi wp,

ust to reiterate Freda's comments. A huge well done on not gambling for all this time when so many would have caved in you have stayed strong and you deserve and will get so much out of life in the future. Wishing you all the best

Keith

Hi wp.

Hope alls ok with you and that you have sorted someting out family wise!

You deserve so much more in life wp!

Your diary is a huge help to all on here.

Viggo.

Many thanks dotty,ade,Ryan,Russ,captain,viggo,Keith and Freda,always appreciated.

Solicitor letter was sent regarding my situation to which it is being disputed so looks like its even more expense for court action.

Totally drained in anger,sadness,butterflies in stomach,stress and no motivation whatsoever.

I NEVER thought it would come to this 🙁

special mention to ex gambler Jeff for hitting the three year bet free mark tomorrow.

Don't feel like posting elsewhere at the minute.

To any stranger reading this please give up before its too late.

GAMBLING REALLY IS A MUGS GAME !!

Life is one struggle but goes on I suppose.

Today I haven't bet tomorrow I won't bet.

Best wishes.

winning post 🙁

Yo,

Just wanted to say , keep your up chin mate ,

Thinking bout you ,

Around if you want to sound off ,rant what ever if it helps.

Shinyxxxxxx

thanks shiny.

Halloween,birthday parties,Christmas round no too distant corner,these will be testing times.

Not on the gambling front even though my gambling ruined the relationship I had but very emotional times ahead.

Thanks again x

Yo,

I know mate . Well I suppose that's not true , cause am not standing in your shoes .

At times just getting through the day must be struggle enough without adding on the pressures or disappointments the future may hold .

I have said to you before you inspire me sooooo much cause a much lesser man would of crumbled .

Hugs

Shiny xxxxxx

Hello m8

Great to hear from you as always,i know you are not far off the 3 years yourself.

To be honest ,your own journey has been much harder than mine with all you have been through ,and i have to agree with shiny,a lesser man would have crumbled.I do hope things get better for you kid.I know how much you care for your family.Keep plodding on m8 .you never know what is around the corner.All the best Jeff.

hi wp...

I think im getting slow in my old age as I missed your weds post and have only just seen it now...

just to say am with you all the way..the good,the bad and the ugly its always unconditional..

Keep posting and wp....feel free to post on my diary anytime ...you know me ...I am all for emotional feelings being expressed and you have always encouraged that in me and its right. ..

We have to go to ANY lengths to get and say well my friend..

hugs

R and D xxx

Hi wp,

I know solicitors cost alot but dont ever give up fighting for your LO,you have alot to be proud of hun i know your ex wont let you forget what happened but youve done nothing but prove that your beating/beaten this disease.

Nearly three years ...hold that head high and keep fighting for what you believe in people can only beat you with the same stick for so long.

Lesser people would have crumbled by now yet some how your staying strong and getting through each day,next time you get that cuddle that only LO's can give you will know the struggle is all worth it.

Have to echo Rach its unconditional.

Not posting much now but still reading and looking out for your posts.

Stay Strong

L xx

many thanks shiny,elizabeth,jeff and dotty.

things very much the same though i received a text asking if me and my family would like to go to the little ones birthday party next month.of course i will bloody well go !!!

solicitor currently on bereavment leave so couldve got another one but its hard enough explaining myself the first time so will just wait a little longer.

posting today cause ive found a wee poem which i can share which im sure many of you can relate to.

here goes.

the beast....

this is my soul,shattered,torn,

a 6ft monster has been born.

this is my world,empty,bare,

a beast that lives without a care.

this is my brain,scrambled,fried,

the cheeky grin has long since died.

this is my mouth,these are my eyes,

a horrid,spiteful web of lies.

this is my body,this is my face,

an evil demon takes my place.

this is me,this is my heart,

tearing my whole life apart.

this is my guilt,this is my sorrow,

i will not be this beast tomorrow.

but morning comes,i feel anger,rage,

another day i wake up in a lonely cage.

this is my life,this is who i am,

a bitter twisted selfish man.

this is i,this is me,

this is NOT who i want to be.

whether starting out on your journey or abstaining and lapsing from time to time,never give up giving up.

today i wont bet tomorrow i wont bet.

take care all.

winning post.

Yo,

You know mate one day , and I wish I could tell you when ,

Your cheeky smile will return .

Thank you for posting that poem.

Take care , thinking bout ya

Shiny xxxxxxxxxx

Thinking of you wp - sorry you are going through the mill, but you are stronger than you ever realised, and are standing strong and not gambling which shows what a fighter you are.

f x

Hi wp sorry to hear your getting things tough and i really hope u get gud news soon God knows u deserve it and really well done on being over a 1000 days sorry im so late.

I say the serenity prayer a lot it helps me when times r tough.

P.S glad to see Pat has use playing better this season touch wood

take care

Hi wp and thanks...

You remain strong in recovery. Well done.. regards.. S.A

With thanks to shiny,footprints,freda and s.a.

Still struggling on,not seen kids since august but have been invited round tonight ?

maybes the solicitors letter at back of her mind ?

I don't know still a few hours to change her mind about tonight ?

since my last post I've been told not to attend the bairns birthday party yet my family still can.

talk about ups and downs 🙁

Not sure what's going on,one minute wants to talk about kids welfare next im all the names under the sun for ruining their lives gambling and getting payday loans.

Solicitor been in touch and hasn't received correspondence regarding court proceedings.

I've since said its a route im not ready for as im sure there MUST be some kind of solution.

Who knows what though ?

No gambling issues to report,today i won't bet tomorrow i won't bet we can do this folks.

W.P