MY DIARY

Day 11 no gambling. I cannot believe how I squandered so much money on this addiction. It seemed like I wanted to leave myself skint.
Was I punishing myself?
In the last while I never collected winnings just played on in a trance until all was gone then the panic set in. I am still trying to understand why I done all this but I am determinded not to do it again.
This forum is helpful and I am finding it hard to open up about my problem but I will in time.
The important thing is to stay focused and not gamble.

Hi Hollie... you didn't want to leave yourself skint, you just wanted to carry on playing. When playing you don't have to think or feel anything real. Its pure unadulterated escapism and highly addictive. As you say, stay focussed and don't gamble just as i try to do the same. Life does get better when we stop gambling. Regards... S.A

Thank you S A. Gamblock is on my phone so the triangle is broken. Peace of mind at last. Hope you are keeping well and gamble free.

Hey hollie,

11 days already, you are doing just fine, stay positive,focused, and keep learning by reading and keep going forwards.

Well done.

Suzanne xx

12 days free from gambling
Yes Suzanne it feels good x

Yes NT and if I get the urge to gamble I can't. This is great espically with pay day next week. Hope you are doing well too

13 days gamble free. Is
it normal to feel really tired?

Hi Hollie,

Very normal to feel exhausted , all your energy is going into the non gambling and takes more out of you than you think.

Johnx

Yep, I think it is Hollie! I struggled with tiredness (along with vile mood swings)...Recovery was exhausting! Dealing with the emotion that finally had no-where to hide, trying to make sense of how you got to where you did, trying to figure out how to fix things whilst having to constantly fight off the urges! Good news is, it will pass & soon, (I want to say feel the sun on your face but I'm a realist) you will start to feel the climate instead of just numbness!

Keep strong & just take each day as it comes - ODAAT

Day 14 2 weeks gamble free. Thank you John & ODAAT. The good thing is having the block on my phone. I am paid next week so it will be all mine this month. None for silly slots.
I do find the evenings a bit boring. I used to read but find it hard to concentrate now on a book. Hopefully I will soon
Good luck all. We can do this together. X

You could always find a GA meeting Hollie to fill your time, take home some literature to read. Why not use this free time you have now to begin work on your recovery. Its the best investment you will ever make

Well done day@atime on 2835 days. I am trying to keep busy but get bored easily. I hope to follow ur lead. Thank you x

Hi Hollie,

2 weeks well done, stay strong keep busy and keep going.

Suzanne xx

Thank u Suzanne x

Thank you hollie, theres lots of things to keep you busy in recovery. Take some time getting to know your true self again. You might find you like what you see there