My diary

Just dropping by - cyber hug x

Hi wants2stop, I have never used a forum before and have no idea how to , but I hop you get this message, I was reading your first ever post from 2015, and a just want to say I wish you all the best of luck with your recovery ! 🙂 keep it up its freaking hard man

DAY 2

Another new start. OH gambled the other night and just wasn't strong enough to resist the urge. Was on his account which is now self excluded. Hopefully a new start for both of us

Good Luck x

HowDidItGetToThis wrote:

Hi wants2stop, I have never used a forum before and have no idea how to , but I hop you get this message, I was reading your first ever post from 2015, and a just want to say I wish you all the best of luck with your recovery ! 🙂 keep it up its freaking hard man

Thanks i got the message - yes its really hard. Keep it up and good luck. ONE DAY AT A TIME xxx

I stopped gambling by downloading an app called istopedgambling app for I phone(it's blue and red on App Store) it's line the thing on here it shows how many days you have not gambled but also it shows how much u have saved , it's like watching your bank balance go up so it kind of works and has been keeping me going for 40 days now and saved £900 from it, have a look it's free to download and really works , I also watch slot videos o YouTube and thts line my fix lol a doubt al ever go back in the bookies somthing has changed for me with these two methods I discovers my self , anyways keep it up 🙂

DAY 4

Both still gf as far a step I know. Looking forward.

DAY 6

Still gf. 1 week tmz. Wish I could say the same for OH but at least it wasn't in front of me this time and the bills are paid. 1 battle at a time, focusing on me first

Well done on a week x

DAY 7 - 1 week

Thanks Hun. Currently resting and recouperating. Looking after number 1

Thumbs up

xxx

I am absolutely fuming. Why is it that people think they can just come on hear and infiltrate their 'I've recovered much better than you' opinions in to other people's personal diaries. Yes, diaries are public, but also very personal, I wouldn't dream of lecturing someone on their own private journey in their sacred timeline. If it's a forum thead, that's another matter. It seems that many of these consistent finger wagers think they are putting what they've learnt to good use when in actual fact they have substituted gambling addiction for 'lecturing others' addiction. Don't get me wrong, this place has been a sanctuary for me and on most occasions people are supportive and want you to stay present and at least in touch with wanting to quit. I've probably started something with this rant and really hope I don't now get an onslaught of insults lol. This is my diary so please take my point on board that this is my rant and not a forum for open discussion. I won't respond. Just needed to get that off my chest. Think I'm almost ready to go it alone again tbh....

The problem is that nothing changes when nothing changes. It would be great to see a new approach but it's just the same old over and over with the same results over and over - a short time gf then temptation and deposit.

Nothing's easy on either side of the fence, you're in the unfortunate position of being on both. But you still have choices about your life, how you live it, what relationships you enter or stay in, what you do or don't do, what you change or don't change. Doing nothing is an effective choice.

FWIW, I wish you well, even if you don't like what's been said.

CW

DAY 8

On reflection of the recent rantings the more I am considering that this place is not for me any more. My 12 week counselling was the best form of counselling I have ever received and I would urge everyone to access it. I have learnt the mantras and know the triggers, I feel I have all of the tools and know myself and the process well enough now. It's just going to take hard work, perseverance and time. Unforunetaly I'm not sure this diary does anything for my ongoing mission at present. It severs only as a guilty conscience, a conscience which is already wracked with guilt and self loathing, so something does have to change. One day at a time