My diary

well have been feeling a bit sorry for myself today, was meant to be on a course today and tomorrow, unfortunately i havent been able to attend as i am still unwell. It is a shame as the course cost me apporox 500 Pounds and i am not sure if i will be eligable for a refund or another course date.

This in turn triggered a few thoughts of gambling, i think a combination of boredom, illness, sleep deprivation, and to be honest some loneliness lead me to a potentially bad place today!!!!

I found myself battling some thoughts of gambling, the trigger... boredom, alone off work, missing the course and potential financial implications of that, missed income from being off work unwell..... it was all playing on my mind, i was geared up to do it... to have a bet..... but then i stopped, i stopped myself, i knew deep down that i didnt want to, i didnt need to, i thought about all of those reasons why i stopped in the first place, the people i have hurt and the promises i had made to people. I knew that it would be a slippery slope to failure, i knew that the past 200 or so days would mean nothing.

So i stopped myself, i walked away from the oppertunity to bet, i took myself home and here i am, recording it in my diary.

I know that a single bet today would ultimately result in me losing all of my money and all of the trust which i had gained over the past few months.

well feeling much better after that mixed bunch of emotions earlier today. Managed to control any urges, got on with the day, sorted myself out with a bit of christmas retail therapy.

amazing what will power can do!

Off to get an early night

Well would you look @ you, struck down with man flu & still strong enough to make the right decisions...Way to go Luke 🙂

Hope the retail therapy & early night has sorted you out & you are feeling better now!

Thanks again for the encouraging words ODAAT, feeling much better today. Had a good day at work yesterday, day off today.

Feeling much more positive about things, i have a lot to be positive and thankful for. Meeting up with friends this weekend for a christmas meal in liverpool, following weekend is works christmas do, and the weekend after is christmas...... i am working new year eve ( that doesnt bother me too much, i have never been a big fan of new years eve!)

No further urges, managing to iron out any stresses i have and starting to get over the dredded man flu that struck me down.

Off today, out for lunch with my gran, got a little bit of work to do, and will force myself to the gym.

Luke

Day 224 done ..... on to day 225!

Seem to have goten over my little hiccup of temptation last week, on reflection i can see why it happened, i was overworked, run down, unwell and bored... temptation slipped in but i managed to control any urge to gamble.

Well i feel in a totally different place today. I am back in work tomorrow morning and then off through to liverpool for a meal and a night out with some old uni mates... cant wait.

that is all for now ... i will post again after the weekend.

Well done Luke on pushing through that negative temptation.

225, days is great going. Have a great evening with your old friends, you deserve it.

Suzanne xxx

well today is day 227, had a day off work.. much needed. Not done much to be honest.

Went on a little jaunt to lancaster and bought myself some nice coffee for my coffee machine, done a bit of work and revision. I have got some paperwork to do tonight and i will try to get to the gym if i can be bothered.... have eaten a couple of pies today!!!

busy few weeks ahead of me so hopefully that will keep me on the straight and narrow. a few minor urges... i think related to boredom and being overworked. managed to nip them in the bud and move on!

It has been a while since i last went to my GA meeting, every week seems to be busy with work or social commitments. Looking forward... it doesnt look like i will get to one until mid January, i will keep posting on here!!!

Luke