My diary

Hi and well done. I am on day65 and feel the same achievement. Couldnt go a day before so yes we deserve big pats on the back lol.

The Bike sounds like a worthwhile project. Dont think I would make a very good mechanic as hate getting my hands dirty lol but the end result will be a joy for next summer for you.

Stay strong

Mary

Thanks for the supportive comment, i am happy with the progress and have found counselling and GA really helpful.

i am taking a few small steps towards financial independance, i have a save to buy account, making large repayments to any outstanding debts, i am also trusting myself with slightly larger amounts of cash on my debit card. So far this has been without any hiccups and urges. so fingers crossed it continues. Financial responsibility still lies with my mother and i wouldnt change that. all other cards she has hidden away somewhere safe.

thats all for now- in a week it will be day 70 and time for another GA meeting

Great diary Luke and congrats on what you've achieved already.

You sound as though you know exactly what you're doing and how you're going to do it which is really inspiring so thanks and I'm confident you'll start to reap the benefits of the good seeds you're now sowing.

I always take small things from diaries and your comment about the only relief coming when there is no money left to gamble hit home with me. I have many memories of getting down to that last fifty quid with zero expectation of winning and just willing it down to nothing. Odd thinking back to my darkest days but a healthy reminder of how far I've come so thanks again.

Keep up the good work, you can do this.

Quick post today- Still bet free for 68 days now.

No urges, seem to be filling my time well, been working alot, and have got this motobike project which is consuming all of my spare time and cash, but it is better that than gambling.

off for a few days, just going to chill, work on the bike, see some friends, go to the gym. Cant Wait!!!!

Well today is day 70!!!! another minor mile stone but the days seem to be ticking by quickly. I remeber when i first started this diary i looked enviously at people on 45, 63, 88 days and wished i was already there.

Well today i guess i am there, ( i say that with caution, as i am by no means becoming complacent) they say things get easier and better with time and i guess i am starting to experience that now. I still have ups and downs but this past week i have had more ups than downs which has been a welcoming change.

It is friday night and as much as i would like to be getting ready for a night out or drinks with friends, i am getting ready for my GA meeting. I dont dread it and actually quite enjoy the meeting.

The motorbike project has been difficult at best, i am by no means a mechanic but do consider myself good with my hands, well this bike has realy challenged me. Anyway to cut a long story short i have decided to pay a mechanic to get the bike street legal and to a standart that would pass an MOT.

It will likely cost $$$$ but it feels good knowing that this $$$$ is going into my motorbike rather than a fruit machine or Bet Freds pocket.

the ********* pocket was meant to read B*T Fr*ds pocket. ( * replacing the E)

Ooo you naughty boy bypassing the editing 😉

Congratulations on your 1st 10 weeks & your ongoing resolve not to get caught out by complacency! Friday nights out are overrated anyway, I imagine GA is an awful lot more rewarding! I still think the bike is a great idea as even if you don't spend hours tinkering with it you can get out on it instead! The OH has found lots of little biker haunts that he can just ride out to & sit & have a coffee (no burgers he assures me) with other bikers (I'm not allowed to call them strange people who prefer the company of strangers to their own)!

You don't need to be envious of other people with big numbers now you know how to do it & are doing so, you can just enjoy each day as it comes! Let other people look on your diary as an inspiration to how recovery is possible, even in the face of adversity!

Great work! Keep winning - ODAAT

Thanks for the supportive commenets ODAAT.

Yeh it feels good to have hit the 10 week mark. I am certainly finding it easier to distract my mind and keep focussed on the goal, When i think back to day 1-7 that probably wasnt the case

Bit of a test this week, i am on my own for the week and have a 250 pound budget to nurse. there is some risk to this however it feels good to have that responsibility again. It is just for the week and then i will be surviving on 50 pound recharges as and when required.

The old me would have seen that as 250 quid to go and bet with, the new me sees it as a chance to fill up my car, get a food shop in, out for tea with friends, out for some drinks.

I dont have any urges to bet and hopefully non will come over me this week, if they do i will fight each one when it comes, i have come so far not to throw it all away!

Big test but you can do it! The urges will come I expect but treat them with the contempt they deserve & ODAAT you will get through this temptation with pride in your soul & money in your pocket!

well it has been a few days since my last check in.... pleased to say that things are going well, no gambling, no thoughts of gambling, money has been safe!!!

Had another gamcare councselling session today, went well, really pleased with my progress, got two more sessions, spacing it out to two weekly meeting to get the most out of the 8 sessions.

I think it must be nearly day 75, which is nearly 3/4 of the way to tripple figures.

Not much other news, got a busy few days of work ahead of me so i will probably check in after the weekend.

got a few hours to kill before a night shift tonight so i thought i would log in for a check in.

Still no gambling which is a huge positive. Work has been busy and i have been working alot of hours which i guess is also a positive, it is also good for the bank balance.

Motorcycle has passed its MOT so i am just in the process of getting it registered and taxed, got lots of little things and projects i want to do to the bike so i am excited to get cracking on with that.

It is meant to be GA metting tonight. I have been invited out to a friends for dinner but i think i will make myself go to GA. I know what i would rather do .... but i also know what is more important.

Well today is day 81, coming up to 12 weeks!

Things are still traveling in a positive direction, no gambling.

I have tested myself a bit recently, i have had more access to money than normal and have remained safe.

I was in manchester yesterday and i was busting for the toilet, the only place i could see that had one was a Bill Hill Bookies, i took the plunge and went in, used the bathroom and walked out. It was the first time i have exposed myself to gambling like that since the 01/05/2015. I didnt feel an urge to bet or do anything which was good! I then went for some drinks in manchester with a friend and had an hour to kill to get the train home .... normally i would have spent this hour in a bookies, and the thought did cross my mind... but i stayed strong, took myself to a nice burger restaurant and spent 20 quid on burger and beer instread of what could have been hundreds in a bookies.

Anyways seem to be doing well, no other major issues at the moment.

Well not much news here, working alot and spending lots of money on different things.... mainly my motorbike!!

It is costing me a fair penny but i am enjoying the journey with it! Much more rewarding than gambling.

Back to work this afternoon. Waiting to hear on a new contract at work, hopefully that will secure alot more hours. If i get it great, if not i will hunt for something different.

Life is otherwise ok, it can be a little bit lonely at times, my friends from uni are spread across the uk, and those that i am still in touch with at school are married with kids. The achilles injury has really hampered me, i was looking forward to getting back into rugby and the whole social scene there... but it doesnt look like i will be doing that any time soon. ( making myself sound like a loner... which i am not and i dont feel sorry for myself). I guess it is dawning on me a little how much gambling has actually isolated me.

Well no better time to kick start recovery and social life than now... day 83, doing well, seeing sister and her boyfriend this weekend in sheffield, then more work next week. confident i will not gamble, it isnt worth it!

Well feeling a little more positive since my last post, have had a really good weekend off work. Lots of good food and drink and a good laugh with friends.

Still doing well, no gambling which is always good.

Got councelling and GA this week which is good, i havent made the GA meeting for 2 weeks so i am well overdue a check in!

Been to the gym today, the first time in a long time, i have let myself go a little bit recently with a heavy work schedule and my calf injury. Diet and exercise plan have commenced today.

So i feel like i am doing well, i continue to abstain from gambling and havent had to many difficulties there, i am working hard and my project bike seems to be going well.

I have by no means forgotten where i have come from, the damage i have done to so many people, i remind myself of that on a daily basis. I do however need to look forward and upwards, get a life plan get on with it.