My diary, my new life, my fightback

Posted by: holycrosser

 

Not yet pal.ive still got it to land yet, I won't get it for 3 weeks then I negotiate. 

Posted by: signalman

Posted by: holycrosser

 

Not yet pal.ive still got it to land yet, I won't get it for 3 weeks then I negotiate. 

Good luck with all that. In many ways we as CG's are amazing escape artists when we needed to be so maybe employ some of that old-skool mentality when that bill lands to help you negotiate out of these troubled waters.

 

Just remember the future is yours now... Get past this bill and continue to build a beautiful life for yourself and your fiancée and one day this bill and this period of your life will be in the past and a distant memory ?

 

Totally get you about the boredom thing... When I first started all this I posted on here like 2-3 times a day! I literally got so bored so quickly and once my mind is left to wander that can be where the trouble starts. I think this gets easier to manage over time, don't worry.

 

Well anyway, not sure if you're a footy fan but the cup final is on today, maybe something to alleviate that boredom, albeit temporarily... Come on Watford! ??

 

 

Thanks pal.the support from you helps.big footy fan 

Day 70.I remain gambling free 

Hope you had an enjoyable weekend away. Shame about Watford ?

Posted by: signalman

Hope you had an enjoyable weekend away. Shame about Watford ?

Yes they got battered.day 71 begins and a busy working week.im so not having any gambling urges , I'm proud of me so far. This lifelong decision so far is working.I know j will never be truly fixed. 

many new diaries around, this disease is crippling.

i remember back to sitting infront of a young girl at a local loan office, they wanted to see bank statements.....I knew what was coming, the shame I felt when I was refused as there were too many gambling transactions was horrible, she said to me you need to stop gambling and maybe you won’t need this loan.

i didn’t take her advise 5 years ago, she was bang on.

just stop digging folks, accept it’s gone and never gamble again.sounds easy eh?

I actually thought the  first bank statement that ever arrived after I'd quit gambling which showed no ATM withdrawls or betting transactions , was wrong or maybe they'd not printed it properly LOL ? as it was just too short to be mine ? . 

It's not something I ever want on them again my friend :)) . 

Your right about the new diary's popping up on here , someone once mentioned they should fit a revolving door as it would get em in quicker :(( . 

Congrats on 71 day's of winning for real buddy and all the best for now :))  

Posted by: A 9

I actually thought the  first bank statement that ever arrived after I'd quit gambling which showed no ATM withdrawls or betting transactions , was wrong or maybe they'd not printed it properly LOL ? as it was just too short to be mine ? . 

It's not something I ever want on them again my friend :)) . 

Your right about the new diary's popping up on here , someone once mentioned they should fit a revolving door as it would get em in quicker :(( . 

Congrats on 71 day's of winning for real buddy and all the best for now :))  

Thanks pal , I’m homing in on 100 days, that’s the longest I’ve done then it went belly up 2 years ago.fingers crossed.

keep the support going,we all need it,

Apologies mate , my maths never was good and probably explains a lot as to why I'm here :)) . 

In that case I look forward to welcoming you to the century very soon 🙂 

Have a great evening Bud :)) 

Posted by: A 9

Apologies mate , my maths never was good and probably explains a lot as to why I'm here :)) . 

In that case I look forward to welcoming you to the century very soon 🙂 

Have a great evening Bud :)) 

No you were bang on.im just getting excited lol....cheers pal

That's called "Premature Enumeration "  :)) I just made that up but the spell checker thingy didn't turn red so I thought I'd leave it :)) LOL .  

Day 72 begins. 

I searched new betting sites in Google.i actually clicked on one.i actually clicked sign up....what the hell.i quickly realised what I was doing and shut my laptop down.

No idea where that came from.just wanted to share that and be honest.thank God I didn't go through with it but the weird thing is I was conscious of doing it but my fingers kept clicking.

Need to understand why.First massive mistake but thankfully I stayed strong.ive been on laptop after 7pm too often breaking a rule I set.im getting complacent.this creeps up, haven't been walking, I'm slipping back to old habits.

Warning to all.This is never beaten.

No gambling today

Morning Bud :)) 

Just read your last post and although you went through the motions you didn't give in and actually gamble so well done on resisting that urge . 

Your not alone as I went through many episodes like yours early doors but in some way's as I'd never gambled online it was slightly different but I'd still try and convince myself that one cheeky little punt wouldn't hurt as I'd had a bit of time away so obviously could control it right ? and on another occasion came on here to tell my fellow travelers how I thought it would be a good idea for me to walk into a high st bookies just " To bring back those memories " of how I used to feel ? . I used to complain of another poster on here from when I first started who would use the term " The Addicted mind "? I went nut's " How dare someone suggest that my mind was addicted and what did he know ? , the truth is our mind's are Addicted and not like a normal rational person and we do say our behaviour is OK but obviously that's the very mind that has kept us in addiction for so long . 

You said to me yesterday that your fast approaching 100 day's the longest you've ever gone? which I believe is your addicted mind saying it's ok and giving you the green light ? , just my opinion obviously and you may have a different one which is fine . 

You have to keep fighting these urges to push through that mental block that 100 day's could be your limit ? , it isn't my friend because that's all in the mind and just like the film your mind can be " Limitless " . 

I'm assuming you have blocking software or other safeguards in place to stop you accessing any online gambling sites ? , I hope so because these will keep you safe on such occasions as would not being able to access funds , simple stuff but essential in my opinion ? . 

You have the ability to do this  you just have to want to more than you want that next bet :)) . 

Look at your early posts and ask the question " Do I want another day one again , groundhog day " ? 

Stay well mate :)) 

Thanks both , 

yes I have Signed up to gamban but don’t have the blocking software, so I couldn’t have gone and signed up if I wanted to.

im just disappointed lads that I did it, I know it’s a learning curve and all part of the ups and downs but it came right out the blue.

thank you for the replies lads, very helpful and the fantastic support you give and advice along with many others going through this keeps me on track.

cheers, still gambling free today 

Got some good news tonight.the tax company that messed up have agreed to pay my bill.a big weight off my mind.wont count my chickens but that's the best news .

Sorry for being a drama queen .

No gambling today , not a penny given since that £40 bet came in second, it could have been  the bet that wins me thousands in truth.