My diary, my new life, my fightback

Thanks both , 

yes I have Signed up to gamban but don’t have the blocking software, so I couldn’t have gone and signed up if I wanted to.

im just disappointed lads that I did it, I know it’s a learning curve and all part of the ups and downs but it came right out the blue.

thank you for the replies lads, very helpful and the fantastic support you give and advice along with many others going through this keeps me on track.

cheers, still gambling free today 

Got some good news tonight.the tax company that messed up have agreed to pay my bill.a big weight off my mind.wont count my chickens but that's the best news .

Sorry for being a drama queen .

No gambling today , not a penny given since that £40 bet came in second, it could have been  the bet that wins me thousands in truth.

That's not being a drama queen at all mate , you can tell how much this means to you and what a weight off your mind this will be . 

It'll allow you to focus on staying gamble free even more now :)) 

Made up for you buddy :))

Many thanks mate.

Posted by: holycrosser

I searched new betting sites in Google.i actually clicked on one.i actually clicked sign up....what the h**l.i quickly realised what I was doing and shut my laptop down.

You put the chills down my spine man... Writing that brought a lot of it back for me.

I know that process you describe... In the immediate aftermath it just feels bizarre... Then after a little while when you ponder on it again it all just feels unsettling and a bit frightening right?

Well anyway, I used to do that loads and it was the worst thing for me as I was basically leaving a little post-it note in my head that doors are still open. I would eventually find my way back to gambling.

Luckily you were P****d up or anything right? 

I suppose now you see why people sign up to Gamstop and install gamban on their devices and the like.

You know the f****d up thing HC? Despite the fact that I have signed up to Gamstop and have Gamban on all my devices and my wife's, I can tell you categorically that at least once a week I'll try and log onto a gambling website, knowing full well that I won't get on.

I need constant reassurance that these blockers are in place. Similar to a young child that keeps calling for his mummy when they are feeling unsettled. Sounds stupid but the two scenarios are not all that different in truth.

I get the impression from you that you do want to get on top of this gambling in the 'least restrictive' way so to speak, so I needn't waste type going on about Gamstop and gamban etc... But do consider what may have happened if you'd come home that day P****d up or something... Would you have shown the same resilience and discipline?

And yes, there will be a time in your lifetime at some point when you come home P****d up from a night out and consider gambling, even if it's just a passing thought after an advert or something. It will happen. Trust yourself or put your trust in the mechanical blocks on offer - whatever it takes to keep you gambling free and moving forward towards a better life.

Take care bro ✌️ massive respect to you for your honesty.

Oh just to mention - just read you have Gamban so all good, but occasionally its a bit ropey so look at Gamstop if you feel you need the extra piece of mind... It's free to sign up. 

I don't drink anymore... But I clearly remember coming home after heavy nights and gambling penetrated my wall of resilience - once it was there I was 'on one' to have a punt, despite being legless I would always work out a way to beat whatever flimsy block I had put in place (eg self-excluding only from my favourite gambling site or hiding my card in the glove box of my wife's car) because as I have eluded to before... My obsession was with 'beating the systems' - even my own ones I have put in place ?

Quite ridiculous really when it's written out like that.

Anyway now with a combination of Gamstop, gamban, my wife having full financial control and being excluded from every bookie and casino this side of the hemisphere... I think even Houdini would struggle to work out a way of this one ?

And i remain gamble free. And so do you.

So yeah, keep going and put whatever blocks in you see fit mate. I don't suppose there is ever such a thing as enough blocks is there? 

I'm still envious of people who can live a gamble free life with a fraction of the blocks that I have in place but there you go, everyone is different and the important thing is that we just stay on this path ?✊

Cheers for support mate.

What is Gamstop cant find it?

https://www.gamstop.co.uk/

Here you go mate

Posted by: signalman

https://www.gamstop.co.uk/

Here you go mate

Oh, yes I’m registered to that, must be gamban I’m not,cheers mate

Day 73 , 

sun is shining, the future looks brighter, light is at the end of a long tunnel, patience needed.

at last my plan can be mapped and I’m surviving, no gambling still and hopefully I won’t ever.

lets smash this

Day 74, no gambling, no stress 

day 75, i will remain gf

Day 76 begins, no gambling for me 

Nice little £125 bonus in my pay less tax. Paying it off debt.Saturday and no interest in gambling, the football season finishing is helping. 

Never looked at a horse race since grand national and that for me is amazing, not even a sneaky look at results.

Day 77

Intend watching football today, zero thoughts of betting.

I'm at the most relaxed in this journey I've ever been.its great but I know this disease lurks around ready to pounce at ANY time.