Morning.thank you all for kind words aboveÂ
Day 101 begins, not gambling really does calm me.
Day 103 begins.
Going to a music festival today.no racing, no gambling.nothing.
Didn't get the promotion at work I went for but not a blow tbh, I love my current job.got first payment money sorted for my tax bill.
Married in one weeks time
Day 104 ,Â
extremely drunk yesterday but had a lush day with OH and friends,
i love being normal, bit skint now and pay day thankfully looms, oh and 6 days till my wedding.Â
Day 105
Start of a big week in my life, promotion has come and gone, not bothered in truth but later this week I marry my amazing partner.The fact I'm keeping this from her is my deepest regret and I feel a fraud, I know the right thing would be to come clean but I just cant take the chance right now.Â
I lay here next to her knowing every day I lie to her, I know she could solve this for me, she could also throw me out.
Somehow I want to put it right myself, I need to do this , the coward in me wont fess up.
Today I will not gamble.
Day done.shouldn't be on the internet but I am.
I'm fine, no gambling even though I was near a few bookie haunts.
Thankyou Holycrosser for posting words of encouragement on my diary.
Congratulations on your continued good progress in stopping gambling. You are now 106 days away from your last bet which is excellent.
Your wedding day is fast approaching and I would like to take this opportunity to wish you and your loved one many years of happiness.
It is a shame that you feel unable to share your gambling issues with your bride-to-be, but I understand your dilemma. In a recent post you wrote ..... "later this week I marry my amazing partner. The fact I'm keeping this from her is my deepest regret and I feel a fraud. I know the right thing would be to come clean but I just can't take the chance right now."
It is indeed a tricky one because obviously you do not wish your loved one to scarper. Hopefully she will be carrying a bouquet of flowers which is traditionally believed to ward off evil spirits and so will maybe keep the gambling demons away.
It's just an idea, but you could ask the vicar, when he is reading out the marriage vows, to say "Do you Mr Holycrosser - Compulsive gambler in recovery - take ....... to be your lawful wedded wife?"Â
At this stage in the proceedings it would be too late for her to do a runner and you will have made her aware of the gambling.Â
I hope you appreciate my light-hearted response to something that is obviously worrying you greatly. I am only pulling your leg but it's probably a good thing that I am not writing out the Best Man's speech. Whatever course of action you decide upon I hope you make the right choice and it doesn't come back to haunt you.Â
Thankyou Holycrosser for posting words of encouragement on my diary.
Congratulations on your continued good progress in stopping gambling. You are now 106 days away from your last bet which is excellent.
Your wedding day is fast approaching and I would like to take this opportunity to wish you and your loved one many years of happiness.
It is a shame that you feel unable to share your gambling issues with your bride-to-be, but I understand your dilemma. In a recent post you wrote ..... "later this week I marry my amazing partner. The fact I'm keeping this from her is my deepest regret and I feel a fraud. I know the right thing would be to come clean but I just can't take the chance right now."
It is indeed a tricky one because obviously you do not wish your loved one to scarper. Hopefully she will be carrying a bouquet of flowers which is traditionally believed to ward off evil spirits and so will maybe keep the gambling demons away.
It's just an idea, but you could ask the vicar, when he is reading out the marriage vows, to say "Do you Mr Holycrosser - Compulsive gambler in recovery - take ....... to be your lawful wedded wife?"Â
At this stage in the proceedings it would be too late for her to do a runner and you will have made her aware of the gambling.Â
I hope you appreciate my light-hearted response to something that is obviously worrying you greatly. I am only pulling your leg but it's probably a good thing that I am not writing out the Best Man's speech. Whatever course of action you decide upon I hope you make the right choice and it doesn't come back to haunt you.Â
That made me chuckle, it’s a massive dilemma and I know the pitfalls and many may scour at me but there we are.Im guessing one day I will be on here possibly devastated, I hope not, I deserve this change in fortunes in truth.
Hotel rang today , my wedding venue, gave us a free marquee upgrade worth £2000 ..brilliant surprise.
Â
No gambling today
Day 107.
Nearly pay day.another one chalked off hopefullyÂ
Had good news from OH.shes reducing my money I need to pay her exhaust month by £250
Â
What a help
You see HC everything is coming together. I want to wish you all the very best for the weekend. Have a wonderful day.
That should read...every month 2 posts above.
Day 108 starts , feel things are getting better and thanks Rob for the support.I will use this extra money to pay debt down and never waste it on gambling like I would have in the past.Been a good week so far, the suns out and I get married in 2 days.
Day 108 done.
No gambling and time to log off the web have a great night.
day 109, pay day.
ive woke up and paid more debt and bills, everything is mapped out now, when I started this diary I was determined to never gamble again, never, no excuse.
tomorrow I get married for the second time in my life, a great partner who is my inspiration in all of this.i can’t and won’t fail, there’s so much temptation around me it’s hard but I will do this.that spare £250 I came across has been paid off credit cards, what a difference in my thinking now to 4 months ago.Id be up gambling online by now with every chance I’d have lost my first £300 of the day, I’m not that person now, it feels great.
another month of debt chalked off, another month closer to being free of debt, then I get my life back, my real life.
well done HC - things are moving in the right direction, give yourself a huge pat on the back and be immensely proud for what you have achieved the last 109days and how far you have come!
All the best for the big day tomorrow bud
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