My Diary - Restarted Fri 10 Sep 2010

Hi blocked.

Thanks for the message mate. It's really good to have you back posting. I think you bring a real energy to these pages and your encouragement on a number of diaries is great to see.

If you put as much effort into your recovery as you do into encouraging others then you will be just fine.

Onwards and Upwards mate.

Thanks Curly for message of support 🙂 always great to hear from you!

On into day 9 now. Still without a bet. Maybe it really is "my time to quit" and even if it wasent it wouldnt make much difference as if i did continue on the same path I was I wouldnt have anything left anyway!

This is really the only option left for me. I never want to return to that life and after a number of times of failing to get fully to grips with my addiction I think this time I really can do it. Very few urges to gamble , yesterday had 1 thought about making a "small" deposit. Went for a walk instead and pushed it clean out of my head.

Today again I will not gamble. Right now to get those beers lined up for the start of the World Cup 🙂

"yesterday had 1 thought about making a "small" deposit. Went for a walk instead and pushed it clean out of my head. "

Its only when you turn those thoughts into actions that the damage occurs..........

Lemonade top on mine please !!!!!

ENJOY

TC

STAY STRONG

Kim xx

Hi, Seano.

Thanks for your post on my diary. Well done for pushing that unwelcome thought out of your head. Hope you enjoyed your walk. Enjoy the football today. I will be enjoying it too. I love football. My Dad used to play and then used to referee small league games. He used to take me with him to football matches when I was a child and I love the game. No quite sure how well I want England to do - being Scottish! he he.

No, really I will be supporting them, until they meet Spain in the final - lol

Take care and keep moving forward

All the best to you

Lili x

Quick one thanks Lili and Kim for your support 🙂 Im not Seano though Lili lol 😉 I forgive ya. Thanks again but now running as its the WC !!!

Drinks lined up 🙂 will be on here later hopfully to get to chat. take care all

Sorry, Blocked ! Been reading so many diaries - got diary overload or something! Was meant to be on your diary, but just had Seano in my mind for some reason.

I got blond highlights put in my hair the other day and I've not been the same since -lol 🙂

take care

Lili x

Another day passed without placing a bet.

I did think about gambling yesterday for around an hour or so. But its like training myself. I took the thoughts past he deposit stage, through the gaming stage and then the potential win and the LOSS. I asked myself what i would do if I won, answer was sure withdraw some of the cash and keep the rest to gamble more. Then as I loose it spirals again.

Soon kicked the wretched idea out of my head. Quitting for good is a whole change in thought process and personal lifestyle. Usually a lifestyle that no one ever sees or shares. Again today I will NOT gamble.

How strange to look at my bank account this morning and still have a few quid in there. Onwards.

Hey Blocked

Stay gamblefree m8 and in a couple of months check you bank balance.Im sure you will have more than a couple of quid.Keep up the good work Jeff.

Hi blocked,glad that you managed to overcome a few thoughts about gambling yesterday........,we all have those thoughts,well i do, even after 5 months,i wouldn't call them urges or cravings anymore,just thoughts,which i find easy to dismiss.As jeff says,when you check your bank balance in a couple of months it will look very healthy indeed.Stay strong.

Seano.

Thanks Seano /Jeff for checking in. Quick note to my diary. Good day today spent with the family. No gambling - ) But lots of football. Was fun. Tomorrow the phones start ringing again and im in battle with my accounts. Worried about that like hell.

But will face this head on in the morror. Until then ...

Hi Blocked,

Well done on dismissing those gambling thoughts the other day. You are at a similar stage in your latest recovery to myself so let's help each other along the way.

I think this might just be our time mate. I'd love it if in a few months from now we could be as far down the line in our recovery as wp, Jeff, Seano, Yorkie etc.

There is no reason whatsoever that this cannot be the case if we keep pushing those gambling thoughts to one side.

Positive thoughts Blocked.

Determination and will power along with a total change in thought process is the way I will over come my addiction. Looking back on all the lost days somtimes is not so good. Today im looking forward and be happy that yesterday I did not bet. Today I will not bet. Ok need to work thats about it for now. 🙂

Great attitude Blocked,that's all we need to do in real terms mate,one day at a time.

Seano.

Angry at the moment!!! d**n casino spam from a casino i self excluded at a few weeks ago. Offering this and that and saying they were sorry if they have contacted me in error. Its a UK based casino as well. Have they no morals. I was really clear when I excluded - e.g SELF FRIGGIN EXCLUSION BECUASE I AM A GAMBLING ADDICIT AND NEED MY LIFE BACK!

I am tomorrow pushing forward with a spam complaint against the casinos host. Have told them to never ever ever ever contact me again. This kind of thing could and does do real damage to people in or wanting to recover from gaming issues. This kind of cr@P should be clamped down on especially if its a UK based outfit. Rant over - and NO i didnt deposit and YES i junk mailed there email and sent them a rather curt GET ME OF YOUR LIST NOWWWW!!! reply. Phew need to take a walk to clear the head.

Didnt gamble today

Will not gamble tomorrow

If your reading this Mr Casino take note. This is hopfully 1 player you have lost forever. Onwards Blocked 🙂 (still smiling now rant is out of the way)

Great post blocked....thats the way to tell them...your a totally different person to the one i 1st met on here...well done mate,we can do this 😉