My first diary!

Hows my favourite brummy today ?

My postcard answer for me is that when I gambled I gave 20% to this 30% to that, half commited to family, a bit to work etc etc , and was fully engrossed and commited to gambling 100%, ( i type some things now and think "What utter madness" was that really me ) , but this is an honest process and yes it was. Now I give 100% to everything that I do because i understand the time I wasted on destroying everthing i hold dear.

Now its about re-building everything that I let go to rack and ruin.

100 Days ago i decided to change my life . Best decision I EVER made.

Thank you so much for your post, it means so much.

Blondie x

Good morning Flagg

Great to see you still going strong and just brilliant you have no urges to boot 🙂

Time : agree , how did we have time ? I know even when I was away from home I'd still find a way / time for a bet !

Soooooo happy that we don't have to worry about that now and just fill our time with just being us but one that's now bet free , feels bloody good eh ?

Keep strong Flagg

Smiling Lucy

Hey Diary,

Day 115 - No bet today!

Enough said I think!

Day 115 - No bet!

Hi Flagg,

115......AWESOME

You are only 40 mins away from me!

Quick nifty down the M40

Think we should hook up and go on some litter picking........Lol

We can talk numbers later!

Sue x

Good Morning Diary,

Day 116 - Today I feel good, a bit tired but positive! I paid out a decent chunk of money yday for my car MOT and service leaving me pretty tight for the month! However, here is my progress for the week I didn't look at my bank balance and think gambling will solve that! I was able to apply logic something that generally I'm good at but whilst gambling I couldn't do at all!

Today is a victory against the addiction and in the last 3-4 weeks I am winning! I now have motivation (outside of work) good moods (most days) exercise plan (stuck to so far virtually to the minute) and now logic! On top of this I am heading to Barcelona next year (providing I remain bet free) paid by me with no real money worries accompanying the trip!

GA once again tonight rattling up the weeks there and taking my weekly dose! Already got a plan in place to attend a diff meeting in a few weeks when I can't make my Thursday one!

Another post today where I need to be nudged to re-read when I'm having a tough day! Today is a day to be thankful the decision was made to stop gambling!

Some weeks you make just baby steps but some weeks we can really stride!

Day 116 - Striding

Yo,

Thanks for the post.

Looks like we are both in a good place at present .

Not so much search for the happy ever after, more of an equilibrium in our lives.

I suppose whether it be big or small steps as long as we are traveling in the right direction that is all that matters .

Every time you mention Barcelona , can not help thinking of the song of same name , maybe it can be can be your theme tune lol

Shiny xxxxxxxx

Hey flagg,

Those virtual hugs did the trick my friend thank you 🙂 Enjoy your meeting tonight.. Keep striding im right behind you.

Blondie x

Hi Flagg, thank u 4 ur post 🙂

Just popping in cus I saw ur question on the thread.... maybe just a gentle reminder to the person that they need 2 check in?

Up 2 u tho 🙂

Have a gr8 day 🙂

Hi Flagg, hope your meeting was good last night and glad to read that things are good with you. Logic is something great to have but with a gamlers head its something we could never have, with a clearer head logic can come through.

I want to thank you for your post, its cleared up some issues/questions that were going around my head. And it just focused my head a little when things were becoming a little clouded. It was great to read and done me the world of good, so thank you. As always appreciate the support and advice. Take care.

Hi Flagg,

Thought I had posted earlier to you but hadn't..........Doh!

Anyway thanks for the post.

The 90 day thread is coming along nicely eh?

Hope you had a good meeting last night?

Cant believe im 50 days tomorrow!

Thank you for being there!

Sue x

Good Afternoon Diary

Day 117 - feeling ok today glad it's Friday been a busy week at work a knock on from the previous weeks good weather! Bit gutted last night finished late and rushed to GA so couldn't squeeze in a run so off to make up for that shortly! Pretty nice weekend planned nothing too hectic but bits and pieces to keep me occupied and away from gambling! That's what its all about really!

Glad to see the 90 day thread going strong another solid check in so far today we have lost a couple of members this week but well done to all those still keeping on!

Day 117 - Glad it's Friday!

Flagg you took me off the 90 day no bet thread and you have added someone on that is only 10 days gamble free that was not the criteria of the thread I am on day four so can I be added to the thread then I am making every effort to quit also?

Let me know cheers

Cheers Flagg I appreciate that

Hi Flagg

thought I was replying to your message here, but it was on my thread, hope you read it but basically saying my journey is continuing but as I have bought some lotto tickets, I dont think I qualify anymore,

Cheers

john

Morning Diary

Day 118 - Today I will not wear one of those 118 wigs. I will not go around acting the fool. I will not do a stupid tv advert and annoy the hell out of people. I will not attend a fancy dress party as a 118 character because that's just taking looking ridiculous a step too far.

Instead today I will be me, this is the me that 4 months ago would have been up now for 2 hours placing countless online bets. I would then be dashing out the house to place bets at the betting shop all this before the day has started for many.

Saturdays would often start really well. I would have gambler's optimism running through me. Studying the football leagues placing my bets none of it really started until the afternoon. My money was staked but I had not lost infact it could have been the day I won big. By saturday night I would often be broken, poor, angry, and much more. I would watch my beloved Barcelona and not care whether they won or lost infact I would scramble around looking for the late night football to see where I could win back my losses.

My life 4 months ago was close to the end in so many ways. Writing it down this morning just reaffirms that I never want to revisit that place, that darkness. I won't say today I never want to gamble again infact I don't think I will ever say that. I am not a naive compulsive gambler I still want the thrill but I don't want the darkness. To avoid the darkness I have to avoid the first bet. Avoiding the first bet will I am sure be a lifetimes work but I am ready to work, and ready to win.

Hats off to the bull

His time ain't up

Bitter hell in the lion's den

For some of us

Hats off to the bull

The sun won't set

Till the pain and the final breath

I often think you can fit song lyrics to a situation. Today I choose the above lines. Gambling addiction is the Bull. I say hats off to the addiction it is powerful and it won't let up bringing misery to so many. I wish we could all fight it off but in reality there are countless thousands out there who are in dire need of help.

On that note I say a special well done to anyone on this forum giving it a real go.

Have a good weekend all,

Day 118 - Stronger than Yesterday