My first diary!

Yo,

I think out of all the diaries I find your the hardest post on.

Cause you seem so ok in yourself , seemed to have made some sense of it all . Traveling along at an even keel , just taking things in your stride .

Agreed you are not cured , or that you expect to be , but not letting that dominate your life or what you want to do. So how do I reply , to be honest I do not know . I could post well done every day , tell you treat yourself to a double decker , but you know what instead I bow before you , as a mark of respect of how far you have come , fair play my man .....

Shiny xxxxxxxx

Cheers for the post Flagg means a lot to have your supprt.

Had agreat day saturday, as you'll i'm sure read i did play the fruit machines. Not with my own money a mates money but couldnt resist watching him play and i started doing the holds and he done the start. Have i gambled? I think not i was right there with every oppertunity to put my own money in and didnt (my friend asked once at the start do i wanna go in with him i said no - id said early in the day i wasnt going to and he knows im off gambling so he didnt push it). I think reading back my post on my diary im just trying to convince everyone that what ive done was ok. I dont want people thinking im some kind of fraud posting day 138 when they think i should be on day 1. Anyway i'll let you read and would apprecaite your comments, whatever they may be. I'd always respect your opinion. I'd like a lot of posts on the subject just to see what others actually think aswell. I will soon see if i get them.

Sorry to ramble on, on your dairy. Im definitly still in the right state of mind to stay gamble free and complete the 90 day thread and i'll definitely be on board for the next one.

Cheers Flagg.

Evening Diary,

Day 176 - Struggled first thing this morning really did not want to get up. Late night watching the golf and then an early start at work, bad combo!! Then people start arriving at work you almost feel obliged to wake up, perk up, shape up! So, after my initial malaise I got on with the day.

Since then it's been another day. Another day without checking the football fixtures, another day not reeling from the weekend losses, another day I can look at myself and hold my head high.

Workout was tough tonight again a bi-product of the late night I guess but I got through it and Tuesday is my rest day so no craziness until Wednesday now.

All in all a perfectly adequate, acceptable day!

Day 176 - 1 Week to go

Hiya Flagg, thanks for your thoughts on my diary. It helped me, i think i was feeling a bit guilty, i still feel "gamble free" but just felt a bit funny posting that i played a fruity. But anyway as ive said on my diary, its time to move on from it. Im happy with where i am in my recovery and will be very proud to get through your 90 day thread. I feel apart of something on here and i like it. I dont want to mess it up. I like supporting others and i love and apppreciate the support i get.

Your bit on accepting defeat is spot on and i try to, i wouldnt say i always feel like that and sometimes its hard knowing something has beaten me but "I can cope with losing providing I remain bet free". Great little quote and something i need to remember.

Soon be single figures for the 90 day thread, crazy really and only a week to go for your big half a year. I just thought I dont really offer much supprt to you. You just seem like a wise master lol Your doing so well. You seem very happy with were you are and what your doing and thats great. Keep at it and remember every bit of advice you give me and others and make sure your following them yourself. There we go a bit of support for ya, wait another 6 months and you can have some more. lol take care Flagg.

Good evening,

Day 177 - Been a busy day at work and too be honest that now provides a bit of a comfort blanket! No time to gamble is a good thing! In the past I would have still found or made time but mindset is different now and i like my busy blanket!

David thanks for the message and support! Wise? I'm not sure! I just apply a logic and a method which is working for me!

Day 177 - 6 days!

Hello Diary,

Day 178 - All is well in my world today!

Day 178 - 5 Days!

Hi Diary,

Day 179 - Had a really good day. Very positive presentation given to managers at work hopefully raised my profile slightly but more importantly my project is now ready to be distributed company wide. Got good feedback from a tough crowd and left feeling good.

I sometimes wonder why I count the numbers, last night I had a flick back through my diary. The numbers were pretty handy, as I was able to pinpoint my exact turnaround day. On Day 98 I had my 'moment' the trip switch. I have been thinking and saying a lot recently I am fine, things are good. What this told me was just how long this good spell has been going. I really am having a d**n good run.

Whilst this pleased me I remain on guard and focussed, there is no coincidence that prob the most positive spell of the last 5 years has come during this period of not gambling.

It is not easy but the methods are simple. Hard but simple quite a contrast but I believe it's true.

Day 179 - 4 Days

Diary,

Day 180 - Seem to say this more often than it actually happens but Friday again!!! Another pleasant day, another fine week, I continue to glide and it feels great.

Busy weekend ahead which is how I have come to like it and I remain confident I will be able to say milestone reached on Monday.

Wishing all a great Friday evening,

Day 180 - 3 Days!

Morning Flagg,

Gliding , well that's a new one and i quite like it 😉

180 days, that really is a huge achievment and one you should be extremley proud of, i know i was when i read that !

Enjoy your busy weekend and i'm sure it will be made all the better just because your bet free!

Thanks for your lovely post on mine, it means loads!

Lucy 🙂

Hi Flagg, sorry I'm late getting back I've been really busy what with work and Maisie. Thanks for the post, really pleased things are still going well with you. These past six months have been brilliant for the both of us. From the outside I probably still seem the same but on the inside I'm completely different. I'm much more happier, focused, wiser, relaxed and content. My mind has become peaceful. I feel back in control and not shamed by my spiralling gambling. It feels good and it takes a gambler to know how this feels. This has to continue, of course the road ahead is uncertain, temptation may or may not manifest but if they do then we have to treat them with the same seriousness as we did on day one. Yet I'm not frightened of gambling anymore, I'll deal with the future if and when I have to and I know I'll be better prepared for it because of the last six, wonderful months.

Enjoy Monday Flagg, you've earned it, enjoy it by giving yourself the best present you can, by not having a bet. I'm certain you will because you too can now mentally climb and move mountains.

Happy six months and many happy returns, Steve.

Afternoon,

Day 181 - Busy Saturday so just a short post to say no chance on earth I will gamble today. Milestone 2 too close to take any chances and make a stupid mistake.

Day 181 - 2 Days!

Glad to hear everyone is keeping busy. The key to not thinking about gambling so I am learning again is keeping busy!!

One of the main things that made me start again was due to a leg injury which meant I was sooo bored.....started me off on the slippery slope again.....but back here for support and to keep people posted on my progress.

Have a great weekend everybody.

Ollie.

2 days to go. Unreal. You've doing fantastic. Enojy the day when its here. And get planning the next challenge because im ready for it. Im back again now. Phyiscal im feeling good - my cold has pretty much gone and mental im feeling a lot better, ive accepted the addiction is to strong and that i just cant gamble and if i do i will ruin my life. Thank you for all the kind words and some great advice. Ive needed the people of this site to get me through a tough week but i suppose it was never going to be easy, ive realised that the gambling devil is always going to be there and putting myself in a gambling related environment is no good and will only lead to tough times. Thanks again Flagg. Ive said it many times but your advice and support is appreciated and im determind to make the most of it and build myself a better future.

Hi Diary,

Day 182 - I just wrote a pretty long post and then clicked off before hitting Send!! Is that my age? When I hit 30 that will get worse won't it?

Anyway my previous attempt was probably waffle anyway so today I am one day from target and I will not gamble.

Day 182 - 1 Day to go!

Ha ha, I've done that more times than I care to mention. Very frustrating! Well done Flagg on amassing these 182 days, huge effort.

Steve