Hey Flagg,
Just noticed your almost at a year of sobriety, much congrats to your outstanding achievement. It's got to be a great feeling to overcome such a terrible addiction. I look forward to that year mark myself, hope your planning a special day for yourself at the one year mark.
Chicagoguy
Afternoon,
Day 342 - Nothing to report today. Cheltenham come and gone without staking a single penny. Still managed to catch a few races and enjoyed the spectacle. Just about staying vigilant now in the final 3 weeks before I reach 1 year. Hard work done but never complacent.
Day 342 - Quiet Saturday!
hi flagg, well done mate on getting through cheltenham,
i must confess i too caught a couple of races, but like your goodself did not waste a single penny, just enjoyed the races without needing an outcome.
the one year is just around the corner now, and with every hurdle the comes along you are clearing them at a canter.
barcelona will soon be here and fully deserved
keep at it
carl
Hello Diary,
Day 343 - Another weekend almost complete. Not many more working days left now until holiday. My recent posts probably show that it is this keeping me moving forward at the moment. I guess our motivation is irrelevant provided it keeps us on the right path.
Day 343 - Still Counting!
Hi Mr f
Glad to see you're feeling better.
Not long now till the celebratory trip 🙂
I'm sure you'll enjoy every second of it- you've worked so hard this year to get there.
Take care
Irene
x
Morning,
Day 344 - Monday morning blues. Not feeling work just lately seem to be in a rut with it. Awaiting news of last years bonus. Was it worth the work, was it not? Soon find out but almost reluctant to start anything until I know last year was worth it. It doesn't help looking around and seeing others not doing anything either. More senior members of staff literally doing nothing some days.
Right work rant over just 9 working days until easter and 11 until holiday think I can cope until then.
Day 344 - Monday 🙁
Morning Flagg.
Thanks for your post-keep counting!!
Hi Flagg,
Well done 4 getting thru Cheltenham, u r doing gr8 🙂
I hope 2 catch up with u soon 🙂
Have a gr8 nite x
Good Evening Diary,
Day 345 - Date and time of Barcelona game announced today the match is a 10pm kick off. I love Spain 10pm kick off lol brilliant.
No idea why it perked me up because I have known we are going for nearly a year but the kick off confirmation makes it real and very close now. Before that I was on a real downer been a tough couple of days. One of those moods I don't know where it appears from and worse I don't know how to break it.
Hoping for better tomorrow.
Day 345 - 10pm!
hi flagg
ever nearer my friend and truly deserved
Flagg,
Keep going buddie you are doing so well. Looking forward to congratulating you on Day 365.
Tomso.
Good Evening,
Day 346 - Feeling low is really annoying especially when you cannot seem to turn it around or worse explain why you feel like it in the first place. My contribution to other people's diaries has severely dropped I feel bad about this but the words are just not there lately!!
Still no gambling though feeling very at ease with that side of things! That's one battle I continue to win!
Day 346 - Lack of Words!
Hi Diary,
Day 347 - No gambling and no chance of that happening either. Smiles are still low though and over the last few days I have been reflecting looking back at where I was 12 months ago. Feel like I have gone back to square one just recently. No motivation, no interest. Desperately searching for the positives, no gambling for 11 months plus and debt is being managed now, slowly reducing. Deeper analysis shows plenty more positives but my mood has been so generally low it's as if I won't allow myself to accept life is better. All a bit deep really.
Day 347 - Too Deep!
Morning Flagg
Know exactly how ur feeling as I av been there many times , the key for me was just to hang in there , this site has been a godsend to u , myself and many many others its helped u achieve to turn ur life around but change is happening for u and u just need to adjust a little with this site and be more comfortable with it
U at done so much for many people and helped them along with ur threads whilst continuing to make massive strides forward in ur own recovery which is such a credit to urself and should be so proud , to keep all this up and still try and support others with their diaries is a challenge for anyone
Ultimately and possibly selfishly through the eyes of a an ex compulsive gambler it really is all bout u and what's best for u , if that means doin a little less on here then so be it , no one will judge u I personally applaud u for all ur efforts and the impact u av made and do fully understand how u feel , I personally had a reputation of been very good with new posts and I tried to support every new one that come along in a way offering something back into society I took so little out of but now I find it hard the motivation isn't there the inspiration isn't there I know statistically only one in bout ten diaries will last with others giving up after a few posts , in the end it drained me but I feel the guilt but like u things av changed for me and in a positive way
Finding that balance is hard to not want gambling to be a part of our lives not talking bout it everyday but also knowing we need the reminder of what we could go back to
I hope u find that balance and do what is right for u like I said at the beginning of this post just hang in there
Take care
Castle2
Flagg.
Fella I so understand your post as those feelings are something I have experienced.
Heres my take on things.
when we first abstain the thrill of gambling is in the short term replaced by the thrill of not gambling, like a honey moon period with anything new, then there is a period of wanting to get everyone on the face of mother earth to see what you see the "revelation" that there is a life beyond gambling, then for me fella there has been normality, measured, balanced, pre empted normality, I see were this sucks folk back in to having a punt, the thrill of the chase, ultimatly with the same devestating results. And to end my honourable friend there is the reflection period when the year came along, I put out more trash, bad harboured thoughts of gambling out in my diary in the run up to the years gamble free mark than I did in six months, I harboured a feeling that I could have done more in my year, was I worhty??
Well the answer is the same for you in my mind as it was for me. YES YOU ARE WORTHY.
I DID WIN BECAUSE I DID STOP.
That is my take on things sir and my advice is keep doing the same as your doing.
your efforts to turn your life around full circle are there plain to see, your commitment to recovery is as strong as your commitment to gambling was and for that you reap the rewards of sustained abstinence.
This journey is amazing Flagg, take a step back and see what you have done.
Me i am proud to stand side by side.
Just for today be kind to yourself.
Duncs stepping forward never back.
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