My journey..

Xx

Xx

Hi Tizzy

You will see that I posted to ask if others are interested in our discussions following the post from Joseph and now we have a post from Walliss on my diary - I'm delighted that others are getting benefit from our dialogue and encourage Joseph, Walliss and any others to contribute as they see fit 🙂

I'm doing the Wordle daily now and enjoying it !

Was on chat last night and had a good conversation, predominately with @slowlearner, with whom I share many of the same experiences and memories e.g. gambling cash only in bookmakers, when they closed at 6pm in the winter and didnt open on a Sunday, you couldn't bet by card, there was no online. Yes I was still a CG but it was much more controllable based on these restrictions - just accepted that you couldn't bet at night in Winter or on a Sunday and it gave you a break to re-group.

Finished the Justyn Rees Larcombe book - well I have to say my own story would be better - spoiler alert for anyone who hasn't read it - first 50% is about his life before gambling, he didnt gamble till he was 40, still doesn't know what triggered it, after he lost a fortune and hit rock bottom, he didnt even consider gambling again, despite being totally hooked for years..... the book describes gambling with financial gain and recouping losses always in find, not anything about the need for the buzz, needing gambling to cope with life, then we have the 'he gets back with his wife and kids' happy ending.... hmmmmm

Here is my typical day of feelings - Bored - Oh I could gamble.... Stressed - Oh I could gamble.... Need to escape from dull/repetitive life.... Oh I could gamble..... etc etc - becomes exhausting having all these regular gambling thoughts, I revert to reading my Stone Of Life, recalling all the downsides of gambling and trying not to recall the days of success, constantly remind myself that all wins were just ammunition for the next day/week and eventually it all went back - did I ever spend my winnings  - Yes - twice - both times on a new car - every other time they just recycled back to the bookies. Some people find it really difficult to ignore big sporting events and not gamble on them... I get that.... for me every day I think based on above feelings - I could gamble on a dog race or virtual race, if I did I would feel better....have to swat these feelings away countless times every day...

How are things with you?

It aint going away. It just wont quit.

Captain