[Closed] My Last Bad Day

d**n GOOD EGG WHO'S GOING SOMEWHERE IN THIS LIFE

Ariana Grande - One Last Time (One Love Manchester) 

Posted by: DramaLlama

Maybe I should get a weekend job and just forget about getting a degree? I'm never gonna amount to anything. 

Drama

I once thought this about myself, I had all the ambition in the world, but nobody prepared to give me an opportunity in any of my previous jobs, and without sounding big headed they were more worried about losing me from my role at the time, I know that I have a great attitude when it comes to my work!

So, a lot like what you are doing now, I worked hard at making the opportunity for myself, and as a result I got the qualifications I needed, which in turn led to life changes, which in turn have led to me doubling my salary in 2 and a half years.

Keep striving to better yourself mate, I believe that good things come to those who wait, and also those that deserve it!

You are a good person drama, believe in that and believe in yourself, sometimes yourself is all that you have.

Stay safe mate

Kram

X

A mixed bag.

Hubby left me up last night with his wallet and my phone. I reckon he did this on purpose to test me. I'm not even lying. Caused me major stress. I had allsorts of thoughts that I don't wanna dwell on. 

I chatted the Helpline for a spell but the guy was giving me sensible advice and to be frank, it P'd me off. I can't explain it. It was like I know that so I just blobbed on the chat. Might of been a lass actually. I dunno, it was one of them names that could be either. 

Anyways so I stayed up with my temper and just let it all out in music. I listened to sad songs and angry songs and ones that give me hope. 

Then I went to bed. 

I woke up today okay. Not great, but okay. 

I told Hubby I was setting off at 12 midday for Football cos I was volunteering for MIND to do a charity bucket collection for them. He actually got cross with me. Now some people might think he's being kind cos he's like you have the flu, you shouldn't be doing this etc etc BUT he doesn't mind me working all the hours that God sends me (and he sends alot). It was just a reason to be mad with me I believe. I get really sick to death of him being angry mad at me. It's not like I said I was off to sell my body. I'm doing a good thing. 

Ugh! That just made angry again remembering the argument. I swear down. I can't do ought right me. 

Anyways, so I got dressed up for Football. I was mindful that it's gonna be cold but also that they want me to put one of their charity t-shirts on for the collection. I would've normally put a thick superdry shirt on to keep out the cold but I opted for a superdry hoody and bodywarmer instead. 

I set off at 12 and walked down town. I went to the bank and paid in that money for Hubby. 

I went to the Oxfam shop and found a book called "The Moral Law by H.J.Paton". I picked it up because it had Law in the title but in reality it's about philosophy and the way we think about things. It is fascinating. It has stuff in it about our duty to ourselves and others and how a perfect duty has no exception in the interests of inclination and how we are not entitled to commit suicide BUT we may have a strong inclination towards it. I haven't read it over much but I was deeply engrossed in this as I walked through Town. 

Hubby called me. He asked where I was. I was all light hearted and happy with my new book. I was like um, I am just crossing the ringroad at the south end of Town and on my way to the stadium. He's like "that money isn't showing up at the bank". I said I only put it in the machine 20 minutes ago darling. He wound his neck in. 

Then when we'd finished talking, I saw I had missed a whatsapp from him where he accused me of being in a pub with my mates spending that money. I got real angry mad. Like take your own money to the flipping bank then. Ugh! I messaged him back and said I AM NOT IN THE PUB! *ANGRY MAD EMOJI WITH THE RED FACE*. 

He sent back LOL. He knew he'd done and messed up. 

I got to the stadium and waited at reception for the other people to turn up. They did and the guy that works for Town took us to our places. On the way there I bumped into my absolute FAVOURITE player. I love him so much. He's so talented and pretty. I shook his hand and was just telling him how much I love him when the guy that was taking me to my collection point sort of grabbed me by the shoulders and said "Okay dear, off we go". Haha I am a total fan girl! 

I did my collection. They placed me behind the guy that sells the gambling tickets. I was at the bottom of a footwell that leads to the upper tier where I sit and facing the double doors from the turnstiles. The wind was blowing through those doors in my face and from behind me down the stairs. It was a dreadful spot. I was SO cold! 

A lady asked if they could take a picture of me with the mascot. I was like yeah sure but let me blow my nose first. (I had a hanky) So yeah, I'll be on the website looking all red nosed and poorly. 

I saw 3 first team players come past and got to say hello to all of them, it was wicked! 

My team won! I very much enjoyed the game. 

After the match, I messaged a man about a dog and he said 6.30. So that's cool. Hubby can stop being mean to me. 

I messaged Hubby to say I'm walking home. I'll see you there. He's like don't you want picking up. I said no thank you. 

I came home for a quick brew and then went to see the guy. 

Then I gave Hubby his stuff and afterwards he was nice as pie. Makes me sick. That he could treat me so abysmally and then be nice as pie after. 

I went on chat tonight. It was okay. 

Then I went to the pub for a pint of red stuff. Very strange looking beer but it was tasty. 

Now I'm home and watching cop shows. 

I am NOT cooking this weekend. It's my only go-to punishment. I don't care. I am not a slave. You can't treat me right, I can't feed you and I'm a real good cook so he will suffer. 

That is all. 

Drama. 

No-Sun Day. 

Well, the weather has been atrocious hasn't it? 

I woke up fairly early. Still snotty and chesty but the fever I developed after Football has subsided. Hubby said I was super hot during the night so must've burnt it out. 

He brought me breakfast in bed. Toast and Marmalade and a Cuppa Tea. That was nice. 

I went on chat at 1pm it was nice. 

Then I went to work. I did both my cleaning jobs real well. They both had water ingress by the doors for different reasons so I mopped them up and then deep cleaned everything. It stands me in good stead for the rest of the week if I put a shift in at the weekend. 

I took the dog to the park after work. A thunder and hailstorm hit. The wind was blowing the car and the hail was coming literally sideways. I was too scared to get out of the car or drive home in that so just sat there and video called Hubby for a spell. 

Then I went home for tea. I made pie, chips and peas. Just freezer food. Hubby was pleased to get fed even though it was just freezer food. 

I went on chat. Now I'm having a bath and going to bed. 

I tried to do some work but I've got nowt in the tank for it. 

D. 

Dear @dramallama,

Thank you for your post, it sounds as though you've had a productive weekend and thoroughly enjoyed your volunteering duties for an amazing charity. Well done! It was a great added extra that you got to meet your favourite player too, how wonderful.

If you feel you need any further support or advice with any of the things you've mentioned then please don't forget that we're always here for you, day or night on our Helpline (0808 8020 133) and Netline.

I hope you enjoy your bath and you manage to rest tonight.

Kindest Regards

Joanne

Forum Admin

Posted by: Forum admin

Dear @dramallama,

Thank you for your post, it sounds as though you've had a productive weekend and thoroughly enjoyed your volunteering duties for an amazing charity. Well done! It was a great added extra that you got to meet your favourite player too, how wonderful.

If you feel you need any further support or advice with any of the things you've mentioned then please don't forget that we're always here for you, day or night on our Helpline (0808 8020 133) and Netline.

I hope you enjoy your bath and you manage to rest tonight.

Kindest Regards

Joanne

Forum Admin

I got your email. With all of the things that worried you @forum-admin. It's made me think about stuff that I've been hiding from. I wanna chat but you guys are busy right now. 

Part of me wishes you hadn't spotted all of the things I said that aren't okay. 

Everyone only seems to see the good but you see right through it. It's strange to me cos noone else sees it. Not really. It makes me very sad. 

D. 

I swear to God. Everytime I try to talk to anybody about things that are not right. Something gets in the way. It's like it's not meant to be and I should just carry on and deal with the situation. 

I phone Women's Aid and they won't talk to me unless I'm home alone. I chat to the GC guy on the Helpline and the chat freezes. I can see him typing and nothing comes up. I swear down. I am just meant to be where I am. It's a sign. I need to just deal with it all. 

D

Hi DramaLlama

Sorry to hear you've had technical difficulties with the Netline chat facility.

If this same problem occurs in the future, please try clicking on the 'Retrieve Msg' button - this may rectify the issue of not being able to see what is being typed the advisor. 

Kind regards

Forum Admin

I want to give you a big hug right now. I really do 

Posted by: Murlo

I want to give you a big hug right now. I really do 

I'm still germy poppet. Save it for the back end of the week. ?

Morning drama, hope your ok.

Regarding netline, every time I've been on it, the same thing happens, but to the right side of the chat there is 2 options, one to disconnect and end chat and another that says retrieve messages, if you press that one, what ever the advisor has wrote will show up, and just keep doing that whenever there replies don't show.

Regarding women's aid, if they won't come to you with your partner being there, could you maybe arrange to go to them? Just an idea.

Hope your ok and your day goes ok.

Stace xx

I feel different today. I ain't doing anything. Please dont talk about it anymore. Ta x